The Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby's First Year

by Dawn Dais

Overview

"Dawn Dais bravely goes where other baby books don't.... She spills the truth about everything from breastfeeding to getting along with your partner post-baby." — Parents Magazine

There comes a time in every new mother’s life when she realizes that all the pregnancy well-wishes and baby shower gifts left her profoundly unqualified for the realities of life with a newborn. Who knew there would be so much crying—and how much of that crying would be coming from the mom?

Bestselling author Dawn Dais believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the truth about parenting from expectant mothers for fear that if the truth got out, women would (1) stop having babies or (2) stop bringing them home. Eschewing the adorableness that oozes out of other parenting books, Dais offers real advice from real moms—along with hilarious anecdotes, tips, and the encouragement every new mom needs to survive the first year of parenthood.

Revised and updated with new chapters offering advice for single moms and tips for partners,The Sh!t No One Tells You is a must-have companion for every new mother’s sleepless nights and poop-filled days.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781541620353
Publisher:	Basic Books
Publication date:	11/09/2021
Series:	Sh!t No One Tells You , #1
Edition description:	Revised ed.
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	267,021
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Dawn Dais is the author of six other guides to pregnancy and parenting, including The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy and The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers. She lives in Sacramento, California.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

My Moms on the Front Lines 5

1 And You Thought Pregnancy Was Hard 13

2 Please Censor Your Birth Story 17

3 Raid the Hospital 31

4 Breastfeeding Is Really F'n Hard 37

5 They Will Let You Take a Baby Home! 49

6 So Many Tears 55

7 Your Newborn Is Not Cute 63

8 It May Not Be Love at First Sight 69

9 No One Is Loving This as Much as Their Facebook Posts Would Have You Believe 79

10 You Just Pooped Out a Baby (Your Body Post-Baby) 85

11 Your Life Is Officially Over 93

12 Poop, Puke, and Pee 103

13 Children's Books Are Ridiculous 111

14 You Are a Horrible Mother Whether or Not You Vaccinate 125

15 Having Pets Did Not Prepare You for This 133

16 Who Needs a Health Plan When You Have the Internet? 143

17 You'll Never Sleep Again 149

18 Your House Is Way Too Small 159

19 Babies Don't Like Bragging 169

20 You Can't Afford This 173

21 Teeth Are the Devil 181

22 You'll Be Blamed in Therapy Someday 189

23 You Can't Have It All 195

24 A Dysfunctional Relationship 207

25 Remember Your Memory? 213

26 Your Body Is Ruined 219

27 You'll Probably Want a Divorce 225

28 It Does Not Go By "Soooo Fast" 235

Epilogue 241

Editorial Reviews

"Babies are wonderful — we all agree. Can we also acknowledge that bringing home that first bundle of joy is one of the hardest things you'll ever do? Dawn Dais bravely goes where other baby books don't in her wisecracking new release called The Sh!t No One Tells You. She spills the truth about everything from breastfeeding to getting along with your partner post-baby. Pregnant women who want an honest peek inside what's to come will be convinced to nap while they still can, and moms with kids will laugh out loud at Dais's quirky insights and strong opinions."
 —Parents magazine

"Having a baby is magical, amazing, and beautiful. It's also super hard and sometimes (especially on
sleepless nights) a seemingly impossible challenge. As the title, uh, delicately puts it, this book covers all the sh!t that no one tells you so you can actually survive your baby's first blissful/crazy year."
 —Woman's Day

"From poop to post-partum depression, she presents a no-holds-barred look at all of the changes and challenges that new moms and dads can face, along with the three little words every infant-toting parent wants to hear: It gets better."
 —Parade

"Let's face it: there's a lot of shit that happens when you become a parent that you have to find out for yourself, especially in that first year. This brilliant book will cover it all."
 —Scary Mommy

"The Sh!t No One Tells You took me right back to those first weeks of new motherhood — truly the most empowering and frustrating (and frightening!) of times. With heartfelt encouragement and insight, Dawn Dais is a must-read for first-time moms."
 —Rebecca Woolf, author of Rockabye: From Wild to Child

"Dais and her team of MOFLs (moms on the front lines) guide parents (moms, especially) through the first 52 weeks of your child's life with honesty, clarity, humor, complaints and encouragement on a myriad of important subjects from breastfeeding, endless crying and vaccinating to relationship problems, loss of freedom and inaccurate Facebook statuses ("OMG, I love my life!")."
 —Kirsten Ott Palladino, EquallyFamily.com

"Humorous revelations offer insight into a natural process that can and often does completely overwhelm the mother... An amusing and accurate examination of life with an infant."
 —Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher

Dais and her team of MOFLs (moms on the front lines) guide parents (moms, especially) through the first fifty-two weeks of your child’s life with honesty, clarity, humor, complaints and encouragement on a myriad of important subjects from breastfeeding, endless crying and vaccinating to relationship problems, loss of freedom and inaccurate Facebook statuses (“OMG, I love my life!”)."

Equally Family

"The Sh!t No One Tells You took me right back to those first weeks of new motherhood—truly the most empowering and frustrating (and frightening!) of times. With heartfelt encouragement and insight, Dawn Dais is a must-read for first-time moms.”

author of Rockabye: From Wild to Child Rebecca Woolf

From poop to post-partum depression, she presents a no-holds-barred look at all of the changes and challenges that new moms and dads can face, along with the three little words every infant-toting parent wants to hear: It gets better.”

Parade

Babies are wonderful—we all agree. Can we also acknowledge that bringing home that first bundle of joy is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do? Dawn Dais bravely goes where other baby books don’t in her wisecracking new release called The Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby’s First Year. She spills the truth about everything from breastfeeding to getting along with your partner post-baby. Pregnant women who want an honest peek inside what’s to come will be convinced to nap while they still can, and moms with kids will laugh out loud at Dais’s quirky insights and strong opinions.”

Parents

A behind-the-scenes look at childbirth and a newborn's first year. No book and no amount of personal advice can fully prepare a woman for pregnancy, birthing and the first year of a child's life. However, Dais (The NonCyclist's Guide to the Century and Other Road Races, 2009, etc.) provides a comprehensive take on the very real and not-so-pleasant aspects of parenting, from the various and often yucky scenarios that can unfold during the birthing process to the seemingly endless waste an infant can create. "My intention is not to frighten you or to scare you off having children," she writes, but she does want to prepare women for the completely topsy-turvy world they are about to enter. She uses intimate details of her own child's birth as well as stories from many other mothers with infants and toddlers to bring a much more realistic slant to an event that "changes everything." The humorous revelations offer insight into a natural process that can and often does completely overwhelm the mother. Birthing without drugs, the bodily functions of the mother and infant, and the sheer amount of stuff needed to maintain your new infant are just a few of the subjects she explores. Although humor abounds, topics like postpartum depression, the difficulties in breast-feeding and sleep deprivation are real issues, and Dais' willingness to tackle such issues lets women know that they are not alone in their struggles. "Knowing you are not alone actually helps a little," she writes. "Trust me, misery does love company, especially during 3 a.m. feeding sessions." Dais' information will help ease new mothers into child-rearing and offer comic relief for those who have ventured onto that path. An amusing and accurate examination of life with an infant.

Kirkus Reviews