Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve

by Zoë Kors

Overview

A narrative guide and practical methodology for nurturing and sustaining our relationships with ourselves, others, and the world.

“With intimacy as the foundational principle of our existence, we can build a life based on what we truly need, not what we think we need or have been told we need. By embracing the practice of radical intimacy, I can confidently promise my readers a personal revolution of self-acceptance, appreciation, vitality, and confidence. And without fail, mind-blowing, soul-stirring, earth-shattering sex follows.”—Zoë Kors

Part practical guide, part client stories, part personal narrative, Zoë Kors draws on her experience as a sex and intimacy coach, thought leader, and relationship writer in sharing her powerful and practical methodology for nurturing and sustaining our intimate relationships over time. She addresses the essential truth that is almost universally missed in discussions of sex and intimacy: We can meet each other only to the extent that we can meet ourselves. Kors guides the reader on a five‑part journey through nine areas of opportunity for deepening intimacy with themselves, their partner, and their world, inviting them to embrace emotional, physical, and energetic self‑mastery, which is required to skillfully relate with others. At the conclusion of each part, there are a collection of experiential exercises which support the reader in embodying the concepts they’ve just read. Voice-driven, accessible, and with the right amount of tough love, Radical Intimacy takes the mystery out of human connection. From academia and science to mysticism and self-development, Kors delivers a rich and varied understanding of human sexuality and intimacy through the lens of the body, brain, heart, spirit, and culture.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780306826603
Publisher:	Hachette Books
Publication date:	04/12/2022
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	1,043,124
Product dimensions:	6.10(w) x 8.80(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Zoë Kors is a sought-after thought leader of intimacy and sexuality. She is the resident sex and intimacy coach at sexual wellness app Coral, and the former Senior Editor of LA Yoga Magazine. In addition to a thriving private practice, Zoë offers her services through Center for Relational Healing, which specializes in the treatment of sex addicts and their partners. As a member of the CRH team, Zoë works with clients to reintroduce healthy sexuality and intimacy after the trauma of betrayal. 

Table of Contents

Author's Note ix

I see you. I got you. I love you. xi

Part 1 The Case for Intimacy 1

Chapter 1 More than Sex 3

Chapter 2 Getting to the Root 13

Chapter 3 The Radical Intimacy Matrix 21

Part 2 Emotional Intimacy 33

Chapter 4 How Do You Feel? 35

Chapter 5 Licking Honey from the Razor's Edge 45

Chapter 6 Emotional Independence 59

Exercises for Cultivating Emotional Intimacy 71

Part 3 Physical Intimacy 77

Chapter 7 Master Your Instrument 79

Chapter 8 The Mind-Body Double Helix 101

Chapter 9 Sovereignty Is Your Birthright 119

Exercises for Cultivating Physical Intimacy 132

Part 4 Energetic Intimacy 155

Chapter 10 The Space in Between 157

Chapter 11 The Attachment Myth 169

Chapter 12 A Deep and Abiding Presence 179

Exercises for Cultivating Energetic Intimacy 187

Part 5 Creating Synergy 193

Chapter 13 The Weaving of All Parts 195

Chapter 14 Sustaining Radical Intimacy 207

Trauma Response Tool Kit for Calming and Self Regulation 215

Acknowledgments 219

Index 225

Editorial Reviews

02/07/2022

Kors, a sex and intimacy coach, offers new ways to consider and explore intimacy in her empowering debut. Grounding Kors’s guidance is her “Radical Intimacy Matrix,” a grid illustrating the intersections of “levels of intimacy” (“self,” “other,” and “world”) with “kinds of intimacy” (“emotional,” “physical,” and “energetic”). The author pulls from psychology, personal anecdotes, and client stories to explore the points of her matrix and offer advice on building romantic and platonic intimacy skills. For example, Kors suggests that being in touch with one’s emotions is a crucial precondition of developing emotional intimacy with others and shares exercises to grow this skill, such as thinking about one’s “highest high” and “lowest low,” as well as answering questions such as “where in your body does joy live?” Solo and partnered exercises designed to explore physical intimacy are explicit, detailed, and sometimes surprising (“walk barefoot” outside). Though Kors’s concept of “energetic intimacy” remains hazy, she exudes an easy mix of authority and willingness to meet readers where they are, and her exercises are detailed and easy to follow. Readers looking for a practical and thorough guide to getting closer would do well to start here. Agents: Jan Baumer and Steve Troha, Folio Literary. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

Philosophical and practical, part manifesto and part guide to sexual manifestation, Radical Intimacy is an accessible and unique perspective on the work of relationship. Delivered with exuberance and compassion, Zoë gives us all the tools we need to feel deeply connected, to ourselves, and each other.”—Ian Kerner, sex therapist and NY Times best-selling author of She Comes First

“If Esther Perel and Glennon Doyle had a love child who was raised by Pema Chödrön, you would end up with Zoë Kors.”—Katie Brauer, former pro snowboarder, Forbes Rising Leader

"We live in an always-on, hyper-connected age that disconnects us from ourselves, distracts us from what matters in life, and erodes our capacity for intimacy. But as Zoe Kors argues, all is not lost. Drawing on her experience as a coach and educator, she makes the case for the importance of strengthening our capacity for intimacy, and shows how it can helps us deepen our relationships, connect with those we love, and better understand ourselves. In today’s world, nothing could be more radical."—Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, author of Shorter, Rest, and The Distraction Addiction

"This is the book we’ve been waiting for—a discerning guide for conversations about true, deep, wholehearted intimacy that so many of us have been craving. In Radical Intimacy, Zoe Kors offers an insightful, innovative lens on the complex landscape of connection, sex, love and erotism. Brava!”—Holly Richardson, PhD, author of Reclaiming Pleasure

"Never has the work of relationship, connection and vulnerability been more important. Radical Intimacy is a guidepost on how to take wise action in these uncertain times with skill, compassion, playful curiosity and sass."—Reginald Hubbard, progressive political activist/organizer, strategist and founder of Active Peace Yoga.

"I come across so many people through my work who are utterly confused by intimacy. Zoe’s thought-provoking read book shines a new light on intimacy, especially for those generations of us that grew up afraid and ashamed of our bodies and emotions. Radical Intimacy is a powerful toolkit to help solve these issues this issue."—Natalie Lue, author of The Joy of Saying No

"Radical Intimacy is the conversation and guidance that not only helps you, it can heal you. Zoe Kors continues to leave me awe struck, with her innate and delicate ability to navigate the complexity and necessity of sexual intimacy. I am elated, to know and to call this brilliant mind a friend, and a living oracle."—Azure Antionette, critically acclaimed poet, Founder of Tell(h)er

“As we move through the precedents and paradigms of the modern world, Radical Intimacy is the book we’ve all been waiting for to serve as a guide for our most important relationships—the raw and real relationship we have with ourselves as well as with those we love most.” —Felicia Tomasko, Editor in Chief, LA YOGA Magazine

"There’s only one path and we are all on it. We are always in ‘intimate relationship’ with everything in the universe, because everything in the universe is in us. This book is a roadmap through the jungle of our fear and longing for love… into the warm heart of our true being."—Krishna Das, Grammy nominated recording artist and kirtan wallah

“Zoë Kors is a profound listener… and what is intimacy other than the ability to truly listen without bias and without judgement? This listening comes through in her writing and in her work. I am grateful to have encountered, grown, and learned from both.” —Christopher Rivas, actor and storyteller

From the Publisher