Love After 50: How to Find It, Enjoy It, and Keep It

by Francine Russo

Overview

A comprehensive and intimate guide to finding, keeping, and enjoying love after fifty, the best kind of love there is.

Studies keep showing that love after fifty is more satisfying than at any other stage in life, and it makes sense: at this stage, you are more emotionally stable and more focused on the present; you know what you absolutely have to have, but also what you can live without; partnering is no longer about building family and fortune—it’s about sharing intimacy as grounded individuals. And sex isn’t pass/fail anymore, but about becoming erotic friends.

So, if this is the promised land, how do you get there?

In Love After 50, journalist Francine Russo interviewed the best experts in the field and dozens of couples to help show the way. Her “practical, excellent guide” (John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work) includes advice like:
-How to recover from the emotional damage of divorce, the grief of widowhood, or a history of unfulfilling relationships
-How to build realistic requirements for a partner
-What attitudes to bring to dating
-How to overcome the psychical challenges of sex and embrace your erotic selves
-How to evaluate the financial, emotional, and practical results of marrying, living together, or living apart
-How to deal with (hostile) adult kids to safeguard your relationship and family

Love After 50 is “essential reading” (Pauline Boss, PhD, author of The Myth of Closure) that is not only practical but also unassuming and candid. It is full of real people’s stories (including the author’s), with vivid examples of couples who have overcome their pasts to form healthy and nurturing partnerships. In other words, it’s as real as love after fifty can be.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781982108557
Publisher:	Simon & Schuster
Publication date:	07/12/2022
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	267,460
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Francine Russo is the author of They’re Your Parents, Too! How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents’ Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy. A widely recognized journalist, she covered the Boomer beat for Time for over a decade. She has also written for Scientific American, The Atlantic, and other major publications. Russo has two grown children, three adult stepchildren, and eight amazing grandkids. She has experienced first-hand the tremendous potential we all have to grow and transform ourselves with the people we love. A PhD in English literature, she lives in New York with her partner.

Table of Contents

Preface xi

Section I Prepare Yourself

1 Do the Headwork 3

2 Identify the Emotional Traits of Your Next Partner 45

Section II Start Dating

3 Master the Mechanics and Manners of Online Dating 65

4 Reconsider Your Automatic Categories 77

5 Date as a Realist: Are Negative Attitudes or Fantasies Sabotaging You? 93

6 Navigate the Emotional Currents of Dating 105

Section III Create a Relationship to Cherish, and Make It Work

7 Try a Relationship 125

8 Rediscover Sex-with a New Partner at a New Time of Life 147

9 Live Together or Not, Marry or Not: Create the Relationship You Need 179

10 Deal with the Kids-or Work Around Them 203

11 Meet the Challenges, and Savor Every Moment 227

Acknowledgments 245

Resources 247

Notes 251

Editorial Reviews

★ 05/24/2021

Russo (They’re Your Parents, Too!) delivers a heartfelt and insightful primer to finding love in middle age and beyond. After being widowed twice in a decade, Russo opened herself up again to love in her late 60s and became a “part of this wave of later life coupling” with her current partner, Michael. She plumbs her own hard-won experience to lend encouragement to those who’ve also been widowed or divorced, offering advice on, respectively, healing before moving forward and accepting one’s role in a breakup before wading into the dating pool. “Credit yourself for having come though one of life’s hardest trials,” she writes, “and you can confront whatever comes your way.” She also guides readers through the online dating world (“Ignore people who say only ‘Hi, Gorgeous’ ”); gives tips on how to “Date as a Realist” (“Feeling pessimistic? No good! You’re bound to undermine yourself”); and tackles such critical topics as sex during the senior years (“don’t expect old bodies to act like young ones”) and the possibility that one partner might need long-term care in the not-too-distant future. For those looking to start a healthy relationship in their later years, this is invaluable. (July)

Publishers Weekly

"A heartfelt and insightful primer to finding love in middle age and beyond... [Russo] plumbs her own hard-won experience to lend encouragement to those who’ve also been widowed or divorced, offering advice on, respectively, healing before moving forward and accepting one’s role in a breakup before wading into the dating pool... For those looking to start a healthy relationship in their later years, this is invaluable.
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"This is a great book, a practical excellent guide for finding love when you're older. I love the emphasis Russo puts on emotional connection, and knowing yourself, and being brave enough to look for what you really need. She also describes the red flags to look for to avoid relationship disasters. Russo has been through it herself and reflected on her experiences, so this book is also personal."
—John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

"A terrific, optimistic book for those moving into new territory dating and (re)partnering over 50. From on-line dating, to marriage and other forms of relationships, to managing adult children and aging as a new couple, here is clear, sensible advice and wonderful stories of people who have made it work. For anyone over 50 and starting over, this is the book to own, and to reread at all the different stages of your new relational life."
— Ellen Berman, MDClinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Pennsylvania

"Francine Russo's Love After 50 promotes positive, realistic expectations for choosing a partner rather than overpromising a perfect person and relationship. She motivates and empowers divorced, widowed, and single people to create a healthy relationship."
— Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Contemporary Male Sexuality and Couple Sexuality After 60

"Francine Russo has written the book I wish was available when I got divorced at 50. It covers everything from widening your preferences for a partner to sex to whether to live together or marry. Now, as a dating and relationship coach, I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for love after 50!"
— Sandy Weiner, Coach at LastFirstDate.com and author of Becoming a Woman of Value

"Francine Russo’s upbeat book is full of stories from the many she interviewed plus the gem of this book— her candor about her own loves and losses. Whether it’s for love, companionship, marriage, or sex—or all of this—this book is essential reading for the over 50 crowd. Russo lived it, provides helpful information, and gives you hope."
— Pauline Boss, PhD, author of The Myth of Closure

"Russo asks all the right questions. She has a clear personal grasp of love and integrity. You will reflect, process and be ready for love." — Mark T. McGonigle, Director, Wisemind Therapy

From the Publisher