Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Part I Taking the Bait, 1988-1999
Partners 5
Fallback Flats 10
Shopping Is Fun, but Not for Men 13
Monster in a Box 18
The Girls of Summer 21
A Chip off the Old Root 25
Can I Tell You Something? 29
A Bowhunting Obsession 32
The Waiting 36
It's a Bass World After All 39
A Morning in the Blind 44
Alone with a Pretty Woman in a Small Room with a Big Mirror 50
Birth, Death, and Doves 55
Truce and Consequences 59
Part II It's Always November Somewhere, 2000-2004
Worthy 71
American Scene: Rod and Reel Repair 74
Tree-Stand Day 77
Finally… Uncle Danny 79
Suddenly, She Was Gone 82
Killing Time 109
Bubble Boy 111
A Sportsman's Life: Drum Roll 114
Spring Canoe Tricks 116
The Kid in the Photo 118
None Dare Call It Happiness 121
Snoop 123
Paradise Lost 125
Only So Many 127
As Good as It Gets 129
Camp Rules 131
All Alone in Tarpon Paradise 133
Good Cops Bald Cop 140
Part III Not Entirely Untrue Stories, 2005-2009
The 2005 Elmer Awards 145
On Track 149
Lost in the Woods 152
Stalking the Highlands 155
Daycare Fishing 166
Always on Call 169
The Wild Card 177
Good Grief 180
A Sinking Feeling 183
I've Been Caught 186
Unsinkable 189
Have Gun, Will Travel? 192
What I Believe 195
You Can't Touch This 198
Current Crazy 201
Clay-Bird Brain 204
How to Be the Man 207
Part IV I Wouldn't Try That if I Were Me, 2010-2014
The Last Mountain Man 213
Handy Man 230
Salute to Turkeys 233
None for All 236
Lizard Lust 239
School's Out 242
My Late Season 245
Making the Cut 248
Casting a Spell 251
Caulk This Way 254
Rash Words 257
Unholy Mackerel 260
Son of a Gun 263
The Old Warrior 266
Acknowledgments 269