Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships

by Robert Alberti PhD, Michael Emmons PhD

Overview

Your Perfect Right—the leading assertiveness guide with over 1.3 million copies sold—is now fully updated and revised. This indispensable guide to equal-relationship assertiveness is packed with step-by-step exercises, tips, and skills to help you express yourself effectively.

Are you comfortable starting a conversation with strangers at a party? Do you sometimes feel ineffective in making your needs clear? Do you have difficulty saying no to persuasive people? Everyone needs a little help getting along with others. Assertiveness is a key social skill, as well as a tool for making your relationships more equal. Learning to respond more effectively to others can help you reduce stress and increase your sense of self-worth.

In this fully updated and revised tenth edition, you’ll learn practical advice on dealing with difficult people, handling criticism, and expressing your feelings. You’ll also discover how to use humor in conflict resolution, ways to clarify others’ intentions, and how to distinguish between encouraging and discouraging communication habits. This edition also includes a new introduction by coauthor Robert Alberti, in addition to research and information on the subjects of anger and interpersonal communication.

Assertiveness is an alternative to personal powerlessness or manipulation. The program in this book will help you develop effective ways to express yourself, maintain your self-respect, and show respect for others. This is not a “me-first” book—it's all about equal-relationship assertiveness!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781626259621
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	03/01/2017
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	312
Sales rank:	281,801
File size:	11 MB
Note:	This product may take a few minutes to download.

About the Author

Robert Alberti, PhD, has received international recognition for his writing and editing, which is often praised as the “gold standard” for psychological self-help. Recently retired from a long career as a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, book author, editor, and publisher, Alberti’s now inactive professional affiliations include licensure as a psychologist and marriage and family therapist in California, life membership and fellowship of the American Psychological Association (APA), clinical membership in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and fifty years of professional membership in the American Counseling Association (ACA). Alberti’s publishing achievements include eight books, newsletters for a number of organizations, dozens of articles, and the editing of more than 100 popular and professional psychology books by other authors.

His “formal” publications career began in 1970 with the first edition of Your Perfect Right, coauthored with Michael Emmons. Now in its tenth revised edition, Your Perfect Right has over 1.3 million copies in print in the United States, and has been published in translation in more than twenty languages around the world. Alberti also collaborated with the late divorce therapist Bruce Fisher on Rebuilding, a best-selling guide to surviving divorce, which has over 1 million copies in print and editions in ten languages.

Michael Emmons, PhD, (1938-2016), was a celebrated psychologist; consultant to educational, government, and business organizations; trainer of marriage and family counseling interns at California Polytechnic State University; and author or coauthor of seven books. Emmons and assertiveness training became synonymous when he coauthored Your Perfect Right with Robert Alberti. Since 1970, he devoted much of his life’s work to furthering and understanding assertiveness. Although his focus on assertive living took center stage, he was an innovator in terms of dealing with the whole person—mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Michael Emmons, PhD, (1938-2016), was a celebrated psychologist; consultant to educational, government, and business organizations; trainer of marriage and family counseling interns at California Polytechnic State University; and author or coauthor of seven books. Emmons and assertiveness training became synonymous when he coauthored Your Perfect Right with Robert Alberti. Since 1970, he devoted much of his life’s work to furthering and understanding assertiveness. Although his focus on assertive living took center stage, he was an innovator in terms of dealing with the whole person—mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments v

Introduction to the Tenth Edition 1

Part I You and Your Perfect Right

1 Assertiveness and You 10

2 How Assertive Are You Now? 20

3 Keep Track of Your Growth 26

Part II Discovering Assertiveness

4 Whose Perfect Right? 32

5 What It Means to Be Assertive 45

6 "Can You Give Me an Example?" 61

Part III Becoming Assertive

7 Set Goals for Yourself 70

8 It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It! 81

9 Assertive Messages - Twenty-First-Century Style 100

10 Thinking Assertively 110

11 There's Nothing to Be Afraid Of 123

12 It's a Skill You Can Learn 139

13 Take It One Step at a Time 145

Part IV Building Assertive Relationships

14 Assertiveness Builds Equal Relationships 154

15 All in the Family: Assertiveness for Parents, Children, and Seniors 168

16 Assertiveness, Intimacy, and Sexuality 175

Part V Applying Your Assertiveness

17 Anger 101: It's Not a Four-Letter Word 188

18 Anger 102: What You Can Do About It 201

19 Must We Put Up with Put-Downs? 213

20 Assertiveness Works at Work Too 220

21 Dealing with Difficult People 235

Part VI Living an Assertive Life

22 Deciding When to Be Assertive - or Not 246

23 When Assertiveness Doesn't Work 254

24 Helping Others Deal with the New Assertive You 261

25 Beyond Assertiveness 268

Appendix: Assertiveness Practice Situations 281

Online Resources 295

References and Further Reading 297

Index 307

What People are Saying About This

Aaron Beck

"...without a peer in the field... truly a classic."--(Aaron Beck, M.D., Psychiatrist, Author, Love is Never Enough)

Allen Fay

"Your Perfect Right is the gold standard... for self-help..."--(Allen Fay, M.D., Psychiatrist, Author, I Can if I Want to)

Cyril Franks

"There are many practical guides to assertive living, but this is without question, the best."--(Cyril Franks, Ph.D., Psychologist, Editor, Child and Family Behavior Therapy)

Gary Emery

"Not only is it the best book on assertiveness, it sets the standard for self-help books in general."--(Gary Emery, Ph.D., Psychologist, Author, Overcoming Depression)

Interviews

Alberti resides in Atascadero, CA; Emmons resides in San Luis Obispo, CA.

Editorial Reviews

5-Star Highly Recommended rating in the national survey... Some mental health professionals call [it} 'the assertiveness bible,' they think so highly of it... this is an excellent self-help book.

The Authoritative Guide to Self-Help Books

...filled with a wealth of examples on how to cope with everyday situations... counters feelings of futility.

The Los Angeles Times

The assertiveness bible; helps the non-assertive speak up and the aggressive tone down.

USA Today

The assertiveness bible: helps the non-assertive speak up and the aggressive, tone down.”
—USA Today


“Without a peer in the field ... truly a classic.”
—Aaron Beck, MD, psychiatrist and author of Love is Never Enough


“Not only is it the best book on assertiveness, it sets the standard for self-help books in general.”
—Gary Emery, PhD, psychologist and author of Overcoming Depression


“Your Perfect Right is the gold standard ... for self-help.”
—Allen Fay, MD, psychiatrist and coauthor of I Can If I Want To


“There are many practical guides to assertive living but this is without question, the best.”
—Cyril M. Franks, PhD, psychologist and editor of Child and Family Behavior Therapy


“Filled with a wealth of examples on how to cope with everyday situations ... counters feelings of futility.”
—Los Angeles Times


“Five-star highly recommended rating in the national survey ... Some mental health professionals call (it) ‘the assertiveness bible,’ they think so highly of it ... this is an excellent self-help book.”
—The Authoritative Guide to Self-Help Books


“The bible of assertive training.”
—Journal of Counseling & Development

From the Publisher