You Raised Us, Now Work With Us: Millennials, Career Success, and Building Strong Workplace Teams

by Lauren Stiller Rikleen

Overview

You Raised Us, Now Work With Us is the definitive book on Millennials in the workplace.

This book is packed with hard data and interesting anecdotes. It provides actionable solutions and a detailed roadmap for retaining and developing the next generation of leaders. Written for managers, professionals of all generations, and even parents, You Raised Us, Now Work With Us offers a practical and thoughtful interpretation of the stereotypes that preceded Millennials into the workplace. Rikleen dispels those stereotypes with fresh analysis as well as concrete strategies for helping the generations better understand each other and build more collaborative relationships.

Lauren Stiller Rikleen is a nationally recognized expert on developing a thriving, diverse, and multi-generational workforce. She brings decades of experience to her analysis, including as an author, a law firm partner, a mediator, and a professional and community leader. She is frequently requested to appear as a keynote speaker and to lead programs and workshops that offer concrete strategies for: strengthening multi-generational teams; creating a culture that supports women’s leadership and advancement; and minimizing the impacts of unconscious bias in workplace decisions.

The book provides a cultural and familial context to the key behaviors attributed to Millennials, while offering practical advice and proven strategies to help all generations maximize each other's strengths in the workplace. You Raised Us, Now Work With Us is an indispensable resource for Millennials, Gen Xers, and Baby Boomers wanting to bring out the best in each other and enhance their own career success.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781634252812
Publisher:	American Bar Association
Publication date:	04/07/2016
Edition description:	Revised and Updated
Pages:	267
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Lauren Stiller Rikleen, president of the Rikleen Institute for Strategic Leadership, speaks, trains, and consults on the importance of building a respectful, diverse, and inclusive workplace culture by strengthening multigenerational relationships, eliminating workplace misconduct and encouraging safe bystander intervention, addressing unconscious bias, and retaining and advancing women.

She is also a board member and interim executive director of Lawyers Defending American Democracy, a non-profit, non-partisan organization dedicated to protecting democracy and the rule of law.

Lauren is the author of several books. The Shield of Silence: How Power Perpetuates a Culture of Harassment and Bullying in the Workplace (ABA 2019), combines detailed research, extensive interviews, and strategic recommendations for addressing misconduct and the silence that fuels it. You Raised Us, Now Work With Us: Millennials, Career Success, and Building Strong Workplace Teams (ABA 2014, 2016) analyzes unfair stereotypes that have long been applied to Millennials, and offers strategies for strengthening multi-generational relationships. She is also the author of Ladder Down: Success Strategies For Lawyers From Women Who Will Be Hiring, Reviewing, and Promoting You; and Ending the Gauntlet: Removing Barriers to Women’s Success in the Law.

Lauren is the editor of the new ABA book, Her Honor: Stories of Challenge and Triumph from Women Judges, an anthology of personal stories by and about some of the country’s most respected female judges (all of whom were recipients of the ABA’s Margaret Brent Women Lawyers of Achievement Award, presented by the Commission on Women in the Profession).

Lauren has written extensively on a variety of workplace topics, authoring more than 200 articles and numerous reports, and is interviewed frequently by publications around the country. As a member of the ABA Presidential Task Force on Gender Equity, she authored a key document focusing on the gender gap in compensation, Closing the Gap: A Road Map for Achieving Gender Pay Equity in Law Firm Partner Compensation. She was also the principal author of the Task Force publication, Power of the Purse: How General Counsel Can Impact Pay Equity. In 2018, Lauren partnered with the Women’s Bar Association of Massachusetts to create a survey and author a report to identify incidents of law firm misconduct and the rate of reporting: Survey of Workplace Conduct and Behaviors in Law Firms.

As a former law firm equity partner, Lauren managed a diverse environmental law and mediation practice and was selected by her peers to be listed in Best Lawyers in America, Chambers USA America’s Leading Business Lawyers, and Massachusetts Super Lawyers.

Within the ABA, Lauren co-chairs the Women’s Caucus and is a member of the Standing Committee on Publishing Oversight. Her many past leadership roles include serving on the Board of Governors, the Commission on Women in the Profession, as chair of the Section of Civil Rights & Social Justice, and as a member of the ABA Journal Board of Editors. She has also served on the Board of the Rule of Law Initiative, as a former member of the ABA Commission on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity, and on the Standing Committee on Bar Activities & Services. Lauren has also served as a special advisor to the American Bar Foundation.

Lauren’s bar leadership also extends to her significant involvement in the Boston Bar Association, including serving as its president (the first non-Boston attorney to do so).

She has also been actively involved in her community, including serving as a trustee of Clark University, helping to create and serve as president of two local charities, serving as the first woman chair of the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce, and serving as a trustee of the Middlesex Savings Bank.

Among her many awards, Lauren was a 2017 recipient of the prestigious Margaret Brent Women Lawyers of Achievement Award and was named by Public Media’s Next Avenue as one of the 50 Most Influential People in Aging.

Her detailed bio and additional information can be found at: www.RikleenInstitute.com

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xv

Acknowledgments, Paperback Version xviii

Part 1

1 Why Another Book About the Millennial Generation Now? 3

The Generational Lens 5

Exploring Nuances, Strengthening Ties 5

The Survey 6

Cautionary Notes 7

2 On the Cusp 11

When "Anything Is Possible" Meets Reality 11

3 Generations in Transition-Searching for the New Normal 17

The Long Workplace Shadow 17

It Used to Be All About Us: The Baby Boomers 18

Does Anyone Know We Are Here? Generation X 19

Enter Millennials 21

4 Uphill Both Ways-The Millennials' View of their Generational Legacy 23

A Different Generational Lens 23

Appreciating the Legacy of Education 25

Can We Move On? 27

The Haze of Hindsight 29

The Complexity of Choice 30

Generations, Gender, and Rejecting the Cost of Emulation 31

Facing Work in a Troubled Economy 34

Intra-Generational Differences and the Commonality of Confidence 36

5 Ground Control to Major Tom-Send in the Helicopter 39

Boomers as Adolescents: Bringing Activism Home 40

Stranger Danger and Other Fears 41

The Structure of Play 43

Boomers and Gen X as Parents-Coach, Advisor, and Best Friend 44

The Role of Siblings 49

Not All Advice Is Equal 49

Elusive Adulthood, Transitioning Relationships 53

6 Parents, Can You Spare a Condo? Perspectives on Parental Financial Support 57

From Stranger Danger to a Dangerous Economy 57

Providing Shelter in a Storm 58

Don't judge Me by Your Crisis 60

The Long Chain of Student Debt 61

Motivated Beyond Dependency 64

Competitive Pressures 66

Not Me 67

7 What Does the Mirror See-Entitlement or Self-Respect? 71

Defining Entitlement 72

Underlying Gratitude for Great Expectations 75

The Celebrity Factor 77

Sorry, Wrong Generation 79

The Label Does Not Fit 80

Intra-Generational Differences 82

Not Me Redux 84

Economic Circumstances as a Determining Factor 87

Losing Entitlement to the Global Crisis 89

The Beat Goes On 91

Where Confidence and Entitlement Merge 92

8 He Talks, She Texts-Is Anybody Listening? 95

Life-Long Impacts of Growing Up Digital 96

Adjusting to Differences at Work 100

Communicating Across Generational Barriers 103

Restricting Communications and Other Acts of Futility 104

Adept at Adapting 107

Power Plays and the Need for Control 110

Ignored Suggestions 111

Professions Stuck in Reverse 112

Unrecognized Tutors 114

Overbroad Assumptions 117

Good Humor and Backup Plans 117

9 "You Cannot Wear That to Work!" 121

Beyond the Outfit 122

The Flip-Flop Firestorm 123

Appearances and Impressions 124

Dressing for the Job You Want 125

The Ripple Effect 126

Gendered Judgments 127

Productivity Impacts of Casual Comfort 130

Dressing for Different Audiences 132

Dress Codes 133

Body Piercings 136

Peer Disapproval 137

The Economic Burden 138

Unasked Questions, Unspoken Answers 140

Where Clothes Are a Euphemism 142

Part 2

10 Navigating Ambiguity and Other Lessons That Helicopter Parents Should Have Taught 147

Emerging Adulthood 147

Discomfort with Ambiguity 150

Internships That Once Were Jobs 152

11 Definitions at Variance: Hard Work, Loyalty, and Self-Perceptions 155

Primed to Work 155

The Continued Pattern of Differentiation 157

A Different Definitional View 158

The Heart of the Intergenerational Disconnect 160

Your Bad Management Is Not My Lack of Loyalty and Work Ethic 162

Technology Is More Than a Tether 169

Responding to the Lure of Entrepreneurship 172

Work That Has Meaning 174

12 Moving Forward with Feedback 179

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies 179

Tell Me You Love Me 181

Passive-Aggressive Comments Are Not Feedback 184

13 Rethinking the Workplace 187

If It No Longer Fits 187

Family Matters 190

No Longer a Women's Issue 191

The Specter of Stigma 194

Holding On to Sacrifice 195

The Public Discomfort with Personal Time 197

The Currency of Time 199

Work-Life Integration in a Troubled Economy 202

Drawing Lines, Respecting Boundaries 203

Laying the Groundwork, Setting an Example 205

The Opportunity That Should Come from Crisis 206

The Bottom Line 207

The Competition Is Not Your Competitor-and Other Lessons from the Sharing Economy and Disruptive Technologies 208

Part 3

14 Adapting the Workplace to Develop Tomorrow's Leaders 213

Money Matters 214

Building Resilience; Retaining Optimism 214

Seeing Past "Entitlement" to Appreciate Self-Confidence 215

Developing Navigational Skills 217

Replacing Clout with Mutual Respect 218

The Value of Inefficiency 220

Building Relationships Through Expertise 221

Responding to Technology Barriers 222

Assessing Skills, Recognizing Value, and Reverse Mentoring 224

The Dual Benefits of Feedback and Transparency 226

Working Smarter, and Hoping You Will as Well 229

15 The Future Thanks You for Your Sanity-How Millennials Have Redefined Success and What It Means for the Future 233

The Power of Joined Forces 235

The Work Benefits of Happiness 235

Redefining Success 237

Millennials' Legacy 238

Bibliography 239

Notes 263

Editorial Reviews

Since the original hardcover release, the book has received accolades from the media and from experts on generational issues. “Read this book if you want to get beyond stereotypes and understand millennials and the workplace. Lauren Rikleen provides terrific practical insight that will help employers harness the talent of millennials in the workplace. Whether you are a parent, an educator, or an employer, this book will help you understand the dynamics of the millennial generation. Buy the book. Give it to your friends. They will thank you.”

—David P. Angel, President, Clark University

“Rikleen takes on the mythology that Millennials are soft and entitled and turns it on its head. With original research and a wealth of fresh and powerful voices, she draws a more complex and nuanced portrait of a young, tech-savvy, highly skilled and dedicated generation with a different definition of success. That they put more stock in efficiency, quality and performance, rather than in the ‘tried and true’ long hours of face time in the office is, Rikleen points out, something not to be denigrated, but celebrated. Essential Reading for employers, employees, and parents of any generation.”

—Brigid Schulte, author of the New York Times bestselling “Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play when No One has the Time,” long-time, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and director of the Better Life Lab at New America

"It is easy to simply write that Millennials are entitled. It is much harder to write a nuanced portrait that accurately captures the complexities of the Millennial Generation, but that's precisely what Lauren Rikleen has done in You Raised Us - Now Work with Us."

— Keli Goff, author of Party Crashing: How the Hip-Hop Generation Declared Political Independence

"If you look at the organizational pyramid of many of today's companies and apply a generational label to each typical level in the hierarchy you will generally find 'boomers'in top management, 'Gen Xrs' in middle management and Millennials' in lower management. It is in the latter group where a majority of day-to-day client contact occurs. In my former company, a global financial services organization of more than 30,000 people, I, and 10 other boomers focused on strategic decisions; roughly 1,000 Gen X middle managers transformed those decisions into local actions; and all the rest, roughly 29,000 out of 30,000, most of whom were under 30, delivered our products and services to our customers, working with them every day, and shaping their opinion of our company.

These groups do not think alike. As a leader it is critical to understand how they are not alike, and to harness that knowledge for the greater good of the enterprise, as well as for each member of these groups. That understanding can clearly be found in Lauren Rikleen's book. It is a must read for those making major decisions for their companies. Understanding how those decisions will be executed means understanding who will execute them. That understanding can start here."

—Ron Logue, former CEO, State Street Corporation

"There is a long tradition of the older generation misunderstanding and denigrating the younger generation, but it need not always be so. Lauren Rikleen presents a healthy alternative to this pattern in her wise and informative book. Drawing on her own research as well as other studies, and presenting survey findings along with individual perspectives, she explains today's emerging adults to their potential employers and colleagues, to the benefit of both sides. This book provides a road map toward a workplace that is not only more productive but more harmonious and humane."

—Dr. Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, Clark University, co-author (with Elizabeth Fishel) of When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up?

"Generational differences are causing uncertainty and strife in the uncharted waters of the digital economy, but they don't have to. In You Raised Us – Now Work With Us, Lauren Rikleen does a brilliant job of outlining the nuances behind many of the stereotypes that befall Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials – particularly critical as more Millennials enter the workforce at the same time Boomers are delaying their retirements. Her book paves the way for workers of all ages to not just tolerate generational differences, but thrive by embracing the best of them. Backed by data and powerful anecdotes, Rikleen has written the manual we need to redefine team effectiveness and workplace success for the new millennium."

—Jenny Blake, author of Life After College

From the Publisher