Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Altruism #1 Assumptions Are NOT Your Friend 3
Altruism #2 If You're Gonna Cry, Know How to Cry 23
Altruism #3 Keep Your Day Job 37
Altruism #4 Know the Cards and Play Your Best Hand 49
Altruism #5 You Encounter More Personalities Than People 57
Altruism #6 A Spoonful of Humor Helps Everything Go Down 75
Altruism #7 Madness without a Reason Is Straight-Up Insanity 83
Altruism #8 Get Your Piece of the Pie 95
Altruism #9 Crying in Your Oatmeal-Soy-Almond Latte Never Helps Anything 111
Altruism #10 Get Up an Hour Before You Need To 123
Altruism #11 Don't Goober Smoocher 133
Altruism #12 Unless You're *Literally* the Sun, Work Doesn't Revolve Around You 147
Altruism #13 You Don't Need to Be the Top Banana 157
Altruism #14 Don't Freak Out 169
Altruism #15 Never Say No and Say Yes 185
Altruism #16 Build Your Own A-Team 199
Acknowledgments 215