You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Power of Persuasion, and Why It Matters

by Vanessa Bohns

Overview

"This remarkable book will change the way you see your own potential." —Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive

An original investigation of our hidden power to persuade, and how to wield it wisely.

If you’ve ever felt ineffective, invisible, or inarticulate, chances are you weren’t actually any of those things. Those feelings may instead have been the result of a lack of awareness we all seem to have for how our words, actions, and even our mere presence affect other people.

In You Have More Influence Than You Think social psychologist Vanessa Bohns draws from her original research to illustrate why we fail to recognize the influence we have, and how that lack of awareness can lead us to miss opportunities or accidentally misuse our power.

Weaving together compelling stories with cutting edge science, Bohns answers the questions we all want to know (but may be afraid to ask): How much did she take to heart what I said earlier? Do they know they can push back on my suggestions? Did he notice whether I was there today? Will they agree to help me if I ask?

Whether attending a meeting, sharing a post online, or mustering the nerve to ask for a favor, we often assume our actions, input, and requests will be overlooked or rejected. Bohns and her work demonstrate that people see us, listen to us, and agree to do things for us much more than we realize—for better, and worse.

You Have More Influence Than You Think offers science-based strategies for observing the effect we have on others, reconsidering our fear of rejection, and even, sometimes, pulling back to use our influence less. It is a call to stop searching for ways to gain influence you don’t have and to start recognizing the influence you don’t realize you already have.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781324005728
Publisher:	Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
Publication date:	09/07/2021
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	34,509
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Vanessa Bohns is a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times and Harvard Business Review, among other publications. She lives in upstate New York.

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

1 Unseen Influence 1

2 Your Power of Persuasion 29

3 Just Because You Asked 53

4 Why It's So Hard to Say "No" 75

5 Misinformation, Inappropriate Asks and Me Too 99

6 Power and Perceived Influence 125

7 Seeing, Feeling, And Experiencing Your Influence Over Others 157

Conclusion 191

Acknowledgments 195

Notes 199

Index 229

Editorial Reviews

"Influencing people is a tricky business. Most of us think that real influence requires natural charisma and a communication style that leaves people thinking, ‘I’ll take whatever they’re selling.’ Bohns’s book dispels this notion and takes you on a science-based journey of how to best answer the questions, ‘What is influence, exactly, and how do I know when I have it?’ The answers are different from what you’d think."

Tessa West

"You Have More Influence Than You Think achieves the rare feat of being both rigorous and affirming. Built on a solid base of research, it offers an inspiring guide to doing better and contributing more. This remarkable book will change the way you see your own potential."

Daniel H. Pink

"Bohns sheds light on what we all want to know about our effect on other people, but rarely get to see. This book will make those in positions of power think twice about the weight their own words can carry and reassure anyone who has ever walked away from an interaction feeling invisible that they had impact."

Reshma Saujani

"Bohns guides us to the insight that we are influential beyond our wildest dreams. Through her rigorous research and relatable voice, she helps us make sense of the world and our non-trivial place in it. The result is an exhilarating, evidence-based, expert read that you will not want to miss."

Dolly Chugh

"This is one of the most enticing and entertaining books I’ve ever read on persuasion. Vanessa Bohns is not only an expert in social psychology—she’s also an excellent communicator. She makes a convincing case that we all matter more than we realize."

Adam Grant

"Unlike other books on this subject, which tend to focus on how we can increase our influence, Bohns tries to explain how we can employ the influence we already possess but might not appreciate we have."

Financial Times

"You will wonder, after reading this marvelous new book by Vanessa Bohns, how you overlooked the power you have to make another person’s day, or life, better, and you will know how to use that power wisely."

Angela Duckworth

"Bohns reveals an enormously empowering secret: In many situations, we don’t recognize the great influence we possess."

Robert Cialdini

"Read this outstanding and long-needed book to feel empowered, but also read it because it will make you more mindful of the influence you have on other people every day. It will forever change how you understand and see influence."

Amy Cuddy

"Soulful, eloquently written, and vital reading for anyone who wants to leave the world a better place. Bohns strikes the perfect balance between cutting-edge science and vivid storytelling."

Adam Alter