You Can't Judge a Body by Its Cover: 17 Women's Stories of Hunger, Body Shame, and Redemption

by David Bedrick J.D.

Overview

What if your hunger—that force that beckons you to the ice cream aisle, and guides your hands to take seconds when you didn’t even feel like having firsts—was the misunderstood sage of your body, rattling its cage inside the fortress of your soul? What if your resistance to dieting were actually a message of self-love? What if your body size and shape also held intelligence and protection? In You Can’t Judge a Body by Its Cover, you’ll read seventeen stories of women who opened the doors to their souls in therapeutic sessions with David Bedrick: stories of shame and self-love, fear and hope, being small and being big. These are the inside stories of the transformation, from bodies impacted by sexism and racism, rape and harsh criticism, and the deepest hungers for an authentic life. You’ll recognize your own pains and abuses, resistance to weight loss, your hungers…and power. Get ready to be inspired. Get ready to see everything differently. Get ready to meet the life-changing secrets held within your body’s rebellion to living in a society that fetishizes thinness and shames authenticity.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780999809488
Publisher:	Belly Song Press
Publication date:	12/01/2020
Pages:	292
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

David Bedrick, J.D., Dipl. PW is an attorney, educator, and process worker. He founded the Santa Fe Institute for Shame-Based Studies where he teaches and works with individuals from around the world. He is the author of Talking Back to Dr. Phil: Alternatives to Mainstream Psychology and Revisioning Activism: Bringing Depth, Dialogue, and Diversity to Individual and Social Change.

Table of Contents

Foreword xxi

Preface xxv

Introduction xxxi

1 Alexis: The Joy of "No!" 1

2 Anna: Fitting In 13

3 Vanessa: Loving the Bear 23

4 Heather: From "Okay"-ing to Healing 35

5 Erica: Starbucks Happiness 49

6 Christina: When the Problem Behind the Problem Holds the Solution 59

7 Kimberly: The Mirror of Malicious Eyes 69

8 Isabella: The Sweatshirt Shield 81

9 Megan: A Cocoon of the Right Size 97

10 Lane: The Power Plan 111

11 Jasmine: You Don't Hurt Things that Are Beautiful 125

12 Francesca: Breaking Out of Smallness 135

13 Faith: Shak'n It Up 149

14 Monica: The Wounding Mother 161

15 Kelly: Getting By with More (Instead of Less) 175

16 Sinead: Authenticity Rules 189

17 Keisha: Living Large 199

Notes 213

Acknowledgments 219

About the Author 223

Editorial Reviews

10/19/2020

Bedrick (Talking Back to Dr. Phil), an attorney and blogger for Psychology Today, celebrates “the deep wisdom held in... hearts, minds, and bodies” of women in this powerful collection of profiles. “This is not another weight-loss guide,” Bedrick writes, instead presenting the stories of 17 women impacted “by the forces of sexism, misogyny, and shame,” and how they “dropped the shame that bound them to a self-abusing lens about their bodies.” Bedrick argues that people who struggle to lose weight are often unaware of the signals their bodies are sending them: unhealthy eating habits can be an unconscious coping mechanism, and diet or exercise routines can self-sabotage when underlying issues remain unresolved. Each chapter explores matters of body positivity in the lives of women who participated in “a series of psychological interviews” conducted by Bedrick, among them Erica, who used coffee to rebel against her unhappy marriage and needed to drop the habit to feel better again, or Lane, who ate to silence the internalized voice of her cruel stepfather. Bedrick persuasively argues that one’s body is wiser than most realize, and “specific criticisms of our body’s shapes” reveals “locations of profound intimacy ready to be awakened.” This emotional, illuminating discussion will appeal to fans of Brene Brown. (Jan.)

Publishers Weekly

"Bedrick celebrates 'the deep wisdom held in... hearts, minds, and bodies' of women in this powerful collection of profiles. This emotional, illuminating discussion will appeal to fans of Brene Brown." —Publishers Weekly


"With deep compassion, precise awareness, and great skills, Bedrick elicits what is truly behind women’s 'failure' around dieting." —Ayako “Aya” Fujisaki PhD, LPC


"Bedrick’s understanding of the impact of sexism, female socialization, and internalized oppression on the emotional and physical health and wellness of women is palpable on every page and woven through every story." —Jan Dworkin, PhD, psychologist and author of Make Love Better: How to Own Your Story, Connect with Your Partner, and Deepen Your Relationship Practice


"I had not considered that the way health professionals approach weight loss is incomplete and potentially harmful if they do not dig for understanding of why the person is where they are. Such an important understanding!" —Dr. Alauna Curry, Trauma Psychiatrist, creator of Empathy Skills PracticeTM for Traumatized Humans and founder of the Dr. Alauna Trauma Recovery Institute


"The intersectionality of racism and sexism is a complex and multi-faceted phenomenon that exacerbates the weight struggle among Black women. David Bedrick gets it." —Mary Canty Merrill, PhD, author of Why Black Lives Matter (Too)


“Chronic shame and self-disgust is a nightmare. This book’s perspective helps me to wake up from that nightmare into the new, gentler, deeply compassionate, honoring world Bedrick is cultivating. I wish for everyone to have a taste of this world.” —Esther Dee, U.S.


“I am one and all of these women in varying degrees and I, through reading this important work, have embraced Bedrick’s witness to my and other women’s struggle for the freedom to feel validated and live authentically.” —Wanda Garcia, M.Ed., U.S.


“The author’s compassionate gaze shines through every page, as this book takes me beyond what is deemed the appropriate health-and-body-weight conversation to where the deepest desires and self-knowing inside our bodies is wanting us truly to go: into the long-ignored, inconvenient, non-commodifiable but ultimately transcendent conversation.” —Jill Hileman, U.S.

From the Publisher