When I was a child, my mother sang:
“’Won’t you come into my parlor,’ said the Spider to the Fly.
‘It’s the prettiest little parlor ever you did spy.’”
I’d picture the fly happily going into the “prettiest little parlor” where I supposed the spider and the fly sat down together for tea.
Are you a “fly”? This was my introduction to the art of persuasion. As the hapless fly, I’ve met many “spiders” and walked into many parlors. I’ve been surprised, shocked, comforted, scammed, deluded, used, betrayed and bullied in “parlors”. But, these “life lessons” I experienced from persuasion were prompted on my part by need, greed, loneliness or gullibility. I can’t necessarily blame the “spiders” if they caught a fly.
But, rather than catch flies in a web – a negative condition, this book explains how to “catch flies in honey.” Persuasion is used every day for good or for bad – it’s a valuable method to satisfy needs of everyone – to some degree - through the positive use of persuasion.
Cooperation is the goal of persuasion or manipulation. Our intent is to “First do no harm.”
Persuading others is two-way communication - one side has the ability to say “yes” or “no”. Manipulating is negative in that the other person is trapped, deluded to some unsuspecting goal. But, we all manipulate at times – negative persuasion - so let’s understand what it is and how to do it well. Spiders and flies can cooperate - both sides can win.
