Wounded in the Church: Hope Beyond the Pain

by Chris Hayward, Ray Beeson

Overview

Church should be a safe place, right? Then why do so many get hurt there?
 
Ray Beeson and Chris Hayward combine their years of ministry experience to address head-on the elephant in the room: church members and church leaders hurt Christians. All the time. And the long-lasting effects—rejection, shame, despair, loneliness, fear—can be devastating. The authors have witnessed the rise of the “dones,” those who are just done with God thanks to scars from church.
 
With first-person stories of hurt and loss, this book is a wake-up call for any who deny woundedness in the church but is also a redemptive message for any who hurt from church wounds. Leaders and laypeople alike will learn how to grieve over abuse, to leave unhealthy attitudes and patterns that cause pain, and to trust in God’s real, delivering work through churches that build up, not tear down.
 
Thanks to the grace of God, there is always hope beyond the pain.
 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781629118147
Publisher:	Whitaker House
Publication date:	03/14/2017
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	256
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Ray Beeson is the director of Overcomers Ministries, a teaching ministry with a special emphasis on spiritual warfare and prayer. Ray teaches seminars on spiritual warfare, prayer, and Christlike living and is the author of numerous books including Signed in His Blood (Charisma House, 2014) and The Hidden Price of Greatness (Overcomers, 2000). Ray and his wife, Linda, live in Ventura, CA.
 
Chris Hayward has had over thirty-six years of pastoral ministry and is currently serving as president of Cleansing Stream Ministries, a discipleship ministry that works with the local church around the world. He is also the author of God’s Cleansing Stream (Chosen Books, 2004) and The End of Rejection (Chosen Books, 2007). Chris and his wife, Karen, live in Castaic, CA.
 
RAY BEESON is the director of Overcomers Ministries, regularly teaches seminars on subjects such as prayer and Christlike living, and is the author of numerous books including Signed in His Blood (Charisma House, 2014) and The Hidden Price of Greatness (Overcomers, 2000). Ray and his wife, Linda, live in Ventura, CA.
CHRIS HAYWARD is president of Cleansing Stream Ministries, Before that, he was in pastoral ministry for eighteen years and served as founding pastor of Christian Fellowship Church in Mount Vernon, IL, for eleven of those years. Also author of God’s Cleansing Stream (Chosen Books, 2004) and The End of Rejection (Chosen Books, 2007), Chris and his wife, Karen, live in Castaic, CA.

Table of Contents

Introduction 13

Part I The Pain

1 I Thought Church Would Be Different 17

2 The Pain Goes So Deep 24

3 Where Does All This Pain Come From? 36

4 Nobody Sees Me 45

5 I Feel Beat Up in Church 53

6 I Live in Shame All the Time 63

7 I Feel Used 86

8 I Can't Forgive 102

Part II The Hope

9 Will I Ever Get Past the Pain? 117

10 Why Do I Feel So Unsafe in Church? 128

11 I Can't Keep Up with All the Rules 137

12 What's Wrong with These People? 152

13 I Just Need to Be Perfect 171

14 The Church Doesn't Seem to Care 184

15 How Do I Find a Good Church? 206

16 Hope Beyond the Pain 224

Appendix A Demonic Lies and Doctrines 236

Appendix B 101 Principles for Living in the Kingdom of Light 246

About the Authors 252

Editorial Reviews

“Chris Hayward and Ray Beeson are two of the most theologically balanced and spiritually sensitive leaders I know. Their experience and their impact in the body of Christ through their pastoral work and writings, as well as capable conference ministry, is known in many segments of the evangelical community. Their pastoral backgrounds highly qualify them as sensitive and wise communicators. I commend this book as a helpful resource for pastoral and group study, as well as a self-examining read for any church leaders wise enough to open their hearts to learn how to heal the hearts and souls of broken people.”
—Jack W. Hayford
Chancellor
The King’s University
Southlake, TX


“There are multitudes of people from all walks of life suffering from deep wounds and great pain. They are seeking help, hope, healing, and happiness. When they turn to the church for answers they are often hurt worse rather than embraced, understood, and led through a healing process. Most churches are ill prepared to bring wholeness to these hurting individuals. Often the leadership of the church hinders rather than helps by not having been equipped to address the real issues at the source. Deliverance and inner healing are misunderstood by much of the church, and shunned, ignored or glossed over with holy-sounding answers. Wounded in the Church very accurately describes the seriousness of the issue, and pinpoints the existing need with many true-life examples. We are deeply indebted to Chris Hayward and Ray Beeson for exposing these problems, and especially for indicating ways to repair them. I love this book, and I know you will also!”
 
—Doris M. Wagner
Global Spheres, Inc.
Wife of C. Peter Wagner


“This book is long overdue. During my own years in pastoral ministry, I have seen and experienced everything described here. I remember well when my friend and brother in ministry, the author Ray Beeson, first began this project several years ago. Now, with the collaboration of Chris Hayward, they have together described ‘abusive congregations’ at both the pastoral or leadership level and the congregational level. They describe so clearly the demonic culprit guaranteed to wound the body of Christ—the perfectionistic ‘religious spirit’ which lies at the heart of all church abuse. The best part, however, is their presentation of biblical solutions. May the healing of the wounded in the church begin as Christ, the Master Healer, is exalted!”
—Jim Ayars
Pastor, Ventura Seventh Day Adventist Church
Ventura, CA
 


“Our churches and ministries are filled with hurting hearts—among them, those who too often have been wounded by the body of Christ itself. These are suffering souls we cannot ignore; problems we cannot sweep under the proverbial rug. We wound Christ when we wound others! Wounded in the Church is a powerful resource every church leader urgently needs. Filled with honest and heartbreaking stories, this book will open your eyes to the real emotional pain far too many are experiencing at the hands of those who should be loving them into the kingdom. Don’t miss this timely and life-transforming message. It’s needed now more than ever.”
 
—Dr. Dick Eastman
International President
Every Home for Christ 


“‘And one will say to him, “What are these wounds between your arms?” Then he will answer, ‘Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends’ (Zechariah 13:6). Any real discussion of the various kinds of abuse that have taken place in the church must embrace this allusion to Christ’s suffering at the hands of God’s people. Chris Hayward and Ray Beeson have combined their many years of ministry to hurting people and produced an impressive discussion of the reality that exists in too many churches. It’s informative, instructive, and essential for those who believe that the church ought to be first and foremost a place of healing. Jeremiah 6:14 issues a strong rebuke from God, to those who have ‘healed the hurt of My people slightly….’ This book is timely and critical to the ministry of healing.”
—Bishop Joseph L. Garlington, Sr.
Founder and senior pastor, Covenant Church
Pittsburgh, PA


“The word church means ‘a gathering.’ God’s people gather to fellowship and to strategize for war. But both of these types of gathering can create woundings. Ray Beeson and Chris Hayward have developed the best book for the ‘wounded church.’ God’s Word tells us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves, but when we end up wounded, the spirit of rejection attempts to force us into isolation. Wounded in the Church will not only help you heal, but get you positioned for your future.”
 
—Dr. Chuck D. Pierce
President, Global Spheres Inc.
President, Glory of Zion Intl.  


“Thank you, Ray and Chris, for writing a book which explores the many areas where God’s people may experience hurts and wounds in churches and religious communities. A pastor recently said to me, ‘If you as a pastor are not sensitive to the hearts of your people, then you are not in the right calling.’ Above all else, the gathering of believers should be a safe place, where people find hope for restoration. As a cancer survivor I know every individual goes through dark seasons, and during those times a patient, gentle love is the greatest treasure to be found in the believing community. God is a God of restoration and healing!”
—Julie A. Dawson
Youth With A Mission
Wife of John Dawson, International President of YWAM

From the Publisher