With the End in Mind: Dying, Death, and Wisdom in an Age of Denial

by Kathryn Mannix

Overview

For readers of Atul Gawande and Paul Kalanithi, a palliative care doctor's breathtaking stories from 30 years spent caring for the dying.

Modern medical technology is allowing us to live longer and fuller lives than ever before. And for the most part, that is good news. But with changes in the way we understand medicine come changes in the way we understand death. Once a familiar, peaceful, and gentle — if sorrowful — transition, death has come to be something from which we shield our eyes, as we prefer to fight desperately against it rather than accept its inevitability.

Dr. Kathryn Mannix has studied and practiced palliative care for thirty years. In With the End in Mind , she shares beautifully crafted stories from a lifetime of caring for the dying, and makes a compelling case for the therapeutic power of approaching death not with trepidation, but with openness, clarity, and understanding.

Weaving the details of her own experiences as a caregiver through stories of her patients, their families, and their distinctive lives, Dr. Mannix reacquaints us with the universal, but deeply personal, process of dying. With insightful meditations on life, death, and the space between them, With the End in Mind describes the possibility of meeting death gently, with forethought and preparation, and shows the unexpected beauty, dignity, and profound humanity of life coming to an end.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780316504478
Publisher:	Little, Brown and Company
Publication date:	12/18/2018
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	352
Sales rank:	81,554
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Dr. Kathryn Mannix is a physician specializing in palliative care, and a cognitive behavior therapist (CBT). She has run palliative care services in community, hospice, and large hospital settings. She is passionate about public education, and has provided CBT skills training to palliative care and oncology professionals.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Reading the Label 5

Patterns 7

Unpromising Beginnings 9

French Resistance 15

Tiny Dancer 23

Wrecking Ball 37

Last Waltz 49

Pause for Thought: Patterns 57

My Way 59

That is the Question 61

Never Let Me Go 69

Hat 83

Take My Breath Away 95

Pause for Thought: My Way 105

Naming Death 107

Second-Hand News 109

Slipping Through My Fingers 117

Talking About the Unmentionable 125

The Sound of Silence 135

Every Breath You Take (I'll be Watching You) 145

Beauty and the Beast 155

Pause for Thought: Naming Death 165

Looking Beyond the Now 167

In the Kitchen at Parties 169

Please Release Me - A Side 179

Please Release Me - B Side 187

Travel Plans 197

With Love from Me to You 207

Pause for Thought: Looking Beyond the Now 219

Legacy 221

Something Unpredictable 223

The Year of the Cat 233

Post-Mortem 243

Needles and Pins 253

Lullaby 263

Pause for Thought: Legacy 273

Transcendence 275

Musical Differences 277

Deep Dreams 285

De Profundis 293

Perfect Day 305

'Only the Good Die Young' 317

Pause for Thought: Transcendence 321

Last Words 323

Glossary 325

Resources and Helpful Information 329

Acknowledgements 339

Editorial Reviews

"With sometimes unsettling detail, admirable empathy and a sprinkling of humor, Dr. Mannix imparts valuable lessons for anyone who faces the loss of a family member or a personal reckoning with impending demise."—The Wall Street Journal

"With the End in Mind is one of the loveliest books I've ever read. It's part memoir and part self-help manual, part practical advice and part professional credo. Mannix's compassion is bottomless and her scrupulousness unimpeachable."—Bookforum

From the Publisher

2017-10-30
A physician reflects on her 30-year practice caring for the dying.In her deeply compassionate first book, Mannix, a British palliative care specialist and cognitive behavior therapist, takes readers on an illuminating journey through the natural process of dying. Though palliative care is, by definition, the treatment of symptoms and discomfort associated with any serious illness, and not solely focused on individuals who are dying, the author notes that the majority of her patients are in the last months of their lives. She offers a selection of their stories arranged thematically; each provides a full portrait of the individual, often revealing that how they have lived their lives is a key to how they approach their experience of dying. In the first section, "Patterns," Mannix familiarizes readers with the natural progression of physical symptoms leading to death; here, she includes a discussion of her experience of personal loss. "My Way" reveals the individual coping styles of various patients, ranging from their acceptance or denial of their pending death. "Legacy" touches on ways in which individuals, whether intentionally or not, may choose to create some form of legacy for their loved ones or greater community through actions they take during their final days. For example, a young girl assembles a quilted memory pillow for her mother, and a young man with Duchenne muscular dystrophy helps raise public awareness for his condition by sharing his personal story through several media interviews. "The art of dying has become a forgotten wisdom," writes Mannix, "but every deathbed is an opportunity to restore that wisdom to those who will live, to benefit from it as they face other deaths in the future, including their own."An inspiring book on an always-difficult subject. Though for American readers the care facilities and specific treatments provided in the U.K. may differ, the personal stories will have universal resonance.

Kirkus Reviews