Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist's Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection

by Stephanie Cacioppo

Overview

From the world’s foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love—how finding and growing with a partner literally reshapes our brains. That was, until she met the foremost neuroscientist of loneliness. A whirlwind romance led to marriage and to sharing an office at the University of Chicago. After seven years of being inseparable at work and at home, Stephanie lost her beloved husband, John, following his intense battle with cancer.

In Wired for Love, Stephanie tells not just a science story but also a love story. She shares revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost—all grounded in cutting-edge findings in brain chemistry and behavioral science. Woven through it all is her moving personal story, from astonishment to unbreakable bond to grief and healing. Her experience and her work enrich each other, creating a singular blend of science and lyricism that’s essential reading for anyone looking for connection.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250790606
Publisher:	Flatiron Books
Publication date:	04/05/2022
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	1,135,193
Product dimensions:	6.20(w) x 9.40(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Stephanie Cacioppo is one of the world’s leading authorities on the neuroscience of social connections. Her work on the neurobiology of romantic love and loneliness has been published in top academic journals and covered by The New York Times, CNN and National Geographic, among others.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 The Social Brain 11

2 A Single Mind 24

3 Passion for Work 40

4 The Love Machine 53

5 Love in the Mirror 66

6 When the Brain Swipes Right 82

7 We'll Always Have Paris 94

8 Better Together 109

9 In Sickness and in Health 119

10 The Test of Time 139

11 Shipwrecked 153

12 How to Love a Ghost 162

Epilogue: A Holistic Theory of Love 177

Acknowledgments 187

Notes 193

Editorial Reviews

01/17/2022

Neuroscientist Cacioppo blends memoir and science in her debut, an enlightening testament to love’s ability to enhance one’s life. She begins with evolution, explaining how humankind’s “primate ancestors” established pair bonds and positing that these precursors to romantic relationships created the necessary conditions for creating societies. She then breaks down the feel-good neurotransmitters generated by falling in love, and outlines a fascinating experiment she conducted at Dartmouth College called the “Love Machine,” which was intended to help a person decide between two potential suitors by measuring brain function in response to subliminal messaging. Among the findings was that people performed better on tests after seeing the name of the person they “undoubtedly loved.” Cacioppo also recounts her own love story: despite feeling like she’d “be alone forever,” she fell in love with fellow social neuroscientist John Cacioppo in 2011. They married shortly thereafter; four years later, John was diagnosed with stage IV cancer and, in 2018, died, an experience she uses to explore the healing power of partnership: People “literally feel less pain when their significant other is touching them or even just in the same room. That’s why I knew I could never leave John’s side.” Readers will be both fascinated and moved. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

2022-02-03
A leading neuroscientist analyzes the “power of love”—“why it evolved, how it functions, how it can be harnessed to strengthen our bodies and open our minds.”

From plunging marriage rates to the challenges of pandemic dating, finding a fulfilling romantic relationship is fraught with challenges. According to recent data, half of single adults in the U.S. are not even on the dating market. Yet, as Cacioppo convincingly argues, “a healthy love life is as necessary to a person’s well-being as nutritious food, exercise, or clean water…we cannot realize our full potential as human beings without it.” In this book, a hybrid of memoir and popular science, she tells her own story of love and heartbreak and examines the scientific data from fields including neuroscience, sociology, anthropology, and economics. As one of the first researchers to use the tools of neuroscience to study love, the author has made numerous fascinating and unexpected discoveries despite skepticism from others in her field. She shows that not only does love make people feel good by triggering a cascade of neurotransmitters and chemicals; social interaction actually shapes the brain, improving cognitive function. On the flip side, loneliness is considered a risk factor for poor health that some scientists consider as serious as smoking. In engaging and clear prose, Cacioppo explains how the tangible effect of positive, loving feelings is evident in various situations: recovering from a stroke, thinking quickly, and even retaining a will to survive. Equally intriguing is the author’s discovery that love activates 12 regions of the brain, playing a more complex role than anyone had previously theorized. Each chapter builds on the last, and Cacioppo’s writing becomes more intimate as her life story stitches closer to her research. Her conclusion is enchanting and uplifting: Love leads us "to be true to ourselves, to reveal who we are.”

A beautiful testament to romantic love, scientific passion, and the endless possibility of connection.

Kirkus Reviews

"Cacioppo blends memoir and science in her debut, an enlightening testament to love’s ability to enhance one’s life... Readers will be both fascinated and moved." —Publishers Weekly

"Cacioppo’s writing becomes more intimate as her life story stitches closer to her research. Her conclusion is enchanting and uplifting... A beautiful testament to romantic love, scientific passion, and the endless possibility of connection." —Kirkus

"...an engaging guide through the scientific portions of the book, and her own experiences of connection and loss enrich the narrative. Together, these intertwined strands of science and personal narrative make for a sprightly, illuminating book." —BookPage

"Filled with a little something for everyone, Wired for Love is a unique take on a memoir that will take you on a journey of grief and healing with a reminder to keep your heart open to all the beauty and pain that life might bring." —Mindful Magazine

“When John and Steph met it was electric, consuming, forever. One might even say ‘wacky’ from the start. But then their love grew to be inseparable, collaborative, joyous, and infinitely inventive. And while their scholarship and devotion to science hit new levels, it was their bond in love that was a joy to know. THIS BOOK CAPTURES THAT JOY.” —Michael Gazzaniga, author of The Consciousness Instinct

"This meditation on love is deep in every sense: in scientific richness, in human insight, and in moving personal involvement." —Steven Pinker, author of How the Mind Works

From the Publisher

Narrator Jennifer Jill Araya guides listeners through an exploration of how we fall in love, how the neurochemicals involved with love reshape our brains, and how the brain deals with grief. The author, who is a neuroscientist well known for her study of emotions and the brain, approaches the material through her own experiences. This highly accessible audiobook is not only a love story, but also an exploration of the bizarre functions of the brain that create physical and emotional connections between human beings. Araya gives an emotionally balanced performance, expressing the joys of falling in love and the emptiness of grief. Her bright performance makes even the most complex discussions of the brain seem simple and easy to follow. V.B. © AudioFile 2022, Portland, Maine

JUNE 2022 - AudioFile