Shop Assistants take no prisoners on their debut album
Will Anything Happen. Cranking the amps up all the way, pounding the drums as hard as humanly possible, delivering the tender-tough lyrics with all the sneers and kisses, and writing melodies insistent enough to wake even the heaviest sleeper, the band give the lie to the idea that they are tween, shambling, or ramshackle. The 14 songs here are as tight as any
Ramones' song, as blisteringly emotional as a
Buzzcocks single, and as sweetly romantic as your favorite girl group's most swooning love song. Previous releases may have been a little shaky around the edges or not fully formed, but those mild criticisms don't apply here.
David Keegan's guitar is a squalling force of nature, the rhythm section of bassist
Sarah Kneale and drummer
Laura MacPhail lock together in simple and powerful harmony, and
Alex Taylor's vocals are a perfect blend of power and finesse; she's able to whip rockers like ¿I Don't Want to Be Friends with You¿ into submission with ease and croons the slow, sad songs such as "Somewhere in China¿ with a graceful touch. It's a combination that co-producer
Mayo Thompson does a fine job wrangling, and the record is balanced nicely between what the band would sound like on-stage on a good night and how they sound after laying down a few practice takes. There was no time spent working on long guitar solos, keyboard overdubs, or even backing vocals -- though they do pop up occasionally in nice ways -- instead, the band seem determined to bash out these songs of fierce determination, bitter heartache, and freedom with as little fuss -- and the occasional bells or trumpet -- as possible. That makes it pretty punk for 1986, especially since none of the audio tricks that often gum up albums made during that time get in the way. Just a little bit of reverb and away they go! Of course, a few of the tracks do take a bit of a breath. ¿Somewhere in China¿ is a truly beautiful and haunted ballad, ¿After Dark¿ is a lovely, lilting midtempo song that sounds like a perfect soundtrack for an autumn walk in the park, crunching the leaves underfoot and pondering life, and ¿All of the Time¿ predicts about half of the
Sarah Records catalog with its pristine melody and chiming guitars. It's a good balance of songs for brooding and for kicking up some dust, and shows some serious taste in covering
the Pleasure Seekers' garage rock ode to going wild, ¿What a Way to Die,¿ with all the giddy abandon it deserves.
Will Anything Happen is foundational; it's one of the absolutely essential building blocks of noise pop, indie pop, and twee pop -- though the band is far from twee themselves -- and deserves to be in the collection, physical or otherwise, of anyone interested in those styles of music. [The 2024 reissue of the album sports crisp new mastering along with a boatload of extra tracks. It gathers up singles, B-sides, and instrumental demos of three songs from the record, well-recorded songs from two different live shows, quite a few rough mixes and alternate versions, and a late 1986
John Peel session where they surprisingly cover
Motörhead's "Ace of Spades" with great alacrity. It's a treasure trove of goodies for those who already love the album, giving them other views of the songs and really bringing one of the classic albums of the year to life.] ~ Tim Sendra
