Why Talking Is Not Enough: Eight Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage

by Susan Page

Overview

Are you in a difficult relationship and need help getting back on track? Do you want to enhance your happy marriage? Or maybe you are single and long for a loving relationship. Here is a breakthrough approach that offers an alternative to the conventional "talk it through and compromise" formula.

Why Talking Is Not Enough, written by Susan Page, author of the acclaimed bestseller If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? presents a novel relationship strategy based on subtle, powerful changes in your own actions. This method shows you the magic of "Keep your mouth out of it!" Page's pioneering eight-step program invites you to give up problem solving and move directly to a warmer, more loving and fun relationship, based on universal spiritual principles.

In this book you will learn how to transform your relationship into a Spiritual Partnership by adopting these Eight Loving Actions:

• Adopt a Spirit of Good Will
• Give Up Problem Solving
• Act as If
• Practice Restraint
• Balance Giving and Taking
• Act on Your Own
• Practice Acceptance
• Practice Compassion

Why Talking Is Not Enough includes specific experiments you can use to create a loving Spiritual Partnership. It will transform your thinking about why good relationships work.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781118041017
Publisher:	Wiley
Publication date:	12/07/2010
Sold by:	JOHN WILEY & SONS
Format:	eBook
Pages:	304
File size:	399 KB

About the Author

SUSAN PAGE has been conducting workshops for both singles and couples, nationally and internationally, since 1980. Her international speaking and media career has taken her to twenty-six states, Canada, Korea, Australia, and Mexico. She has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, CNN, and CNBC, and her work has appeared in People magazine, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Glamour, and McCall’s.
Susan began her career as a Protestant campus minister at Washington University in St. Louis and at Columbia University in New York. She was director of women’s programs at the University of California, Berkeley, where she helped found the nation’s first university-based human sexuality program.
Her previous books include How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together; The Eight Essential Traits of Couples Who Thrive; If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? and The Shortest Distance Between You and a Published Book.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

PART ONE

What Is Spiritual Partnership?

1. Introducing Spiritual Partnership 11

2. Loving Action 1: Adopt a Spirit of Good Will 47

3. Loving Action 2: Give Up Problem Solving 55

4. Loving Action 3: Act as If 71

5. Loving Action 4: Practice Restraint 89

6. Loving Action 5: Balance Giving and Taking 115

7. Loving Action 6: Act on Your Own 129

8. Loving Action 7: Practice Acceptance 157

9. Loving Action 8: Practice Compassion 183

PART TWO

Putting Spiritual Partnership to Work in Your Relationship

10. Exactly How to Use the Eight Loving Actions 209

11. Frequently Asked Questions 221

12. Communication Within Spiritual Partnership 231

13. Making Mature Judgments 241

PART THREE

Seeing Spiritual Partnership in a Broader Context

14. Defining the “Spiritual” in Spiritual Partnership 249

15. The Future of Spiritual Partnership 279

References and Further Reading 291

About the Author 295

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"Susan Page has done it again—brilliantly! Never before have I been so convinced that actions speak louder than words. Think about this irony—a spiritual partnership that requires only one person to make it work."
—Stephen R. Covey, author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness

"Clearly, a cutting-edge book! Page offers a new paradigm for couples that she calls Spiritual Partnership. Taking issue with much marital therapy based on communication, conflict resolution, and problem solving, she encourages partners to view their relationship as a spiritual practice. A fresh and challenging approach! I recommend this book to all couples."
—Harville Hendrix, author, Getting the Love You Want and coauthor (with Helen LaKelly Hunt), Receiving Love

"This book is simply wonderful."
—Christiane Northrup, M.D., author, Mother-Daughter Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom

"If you’ve ever said, ‘I talk until I’m blue in the face,’ or ‘If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times,’ it’s time to quit reciting the same old thing and read this book! It offers fail-proof, loving, action-oriented methods for getting through to your spouse and creating more connection and intimacy. With Page’s down-to-earth, simple-to-implement tools, you will quickly see that when it comes to relationship change, it’s easier done than said!"
—Michele Weiner-Davis, author, Divorce Busting

"Susan Page presents a strong case that actions speak louder than words. Far from being hard to do, Susan Page’s ideas are hard not to do, once you have been introduced to them. I highly recommend this book!"
—Anthony Robbins, author, Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power

"This is a clear and practical presentation of how to bring spiritual principles into everyday relationships. Susan Page presents essential information that will help every couple create more love and harmony in their life."
—Barbara DeAngelis, author, How Did I Get Here?

"I love this book! It is truly a treasure. Susan courageously shows us why we need to stop talking about problems and start taking loving action. She clearly describes the actions we need to take to create loving, spiritually growing relationships. If you are having problems in your relationship, or you want to make your relationship even better than it is, read this book!"
—Margaret Paul, coauthor, Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? and Healing Your Aloneness; and author, Inner Bonding and Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By God?

"This exciting new book is a gem. It is one of the best presentations I’ve ever seen of how to bring spiritual principles into everyday relationships. Page is not talking about meditating for a weekend but about how to live your spirituality every day. This wonderful book presents a shift in consciousness that will help couples have a great relationship for a lifetime. I strongly recommend this book for all couples and singles who want to be the best possible partner they can be, now and in the future."
†Howard J. Markman, coauthor, 12 Hours to a Great Marriage and Fighting for Your Marriage

"This book describes an entirely new way for intimate partners to relate based on spiritual principles. In clear, simple language, Susan Page offers practical concepts and experiments that can improve your relationship in no time at all."
—Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks, authors, Conscious Loving and Spirit-Centered Relationships

"This book is like the Buddha channeled by Ann Landers! As a pastor, I have given away many copies of this book to people struggling in intimate relationships—and I’ve used it in my own marriage. There are many classics of spiritual wisdom and many nuts-and-bolts self-help books on relationships. Susan Page brilliantly combines the two. Her gift is to translate spiritual ideals into practical, understandable, and eminently achievable goals for everyday living in Spiritual Partnership. Read it, apply the lessons, and transform yourself and your relationship."
—The Rev. Fred Small, senior pastor, First Church Unitarian, Littleton, Massachusetts

Editorial Reviews

"Page has the rare ability to bring the spiritual down to earth and apply it to everyday situations. Her writing is clear, and her suggestions are easy to follow." (Library Journal, July 15, 2006)

From the Publisher

Two of the best books to come out this year on marriage improvement take a practical approach, blend it with spirituality, and offer easily applicable advice. Christian broadcaster Burns (The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family), who has been married for 30 years, encourages couples to commit more time and energy to their marriages. His book is designed to be read with a partner so as best to discover ways of building intimacy, enhancing communication, and honing problem-solving skills. Most chapters end with discussion questions intended to help partners grow closer. In a somewhat similar vein, workshop leader and speaker Page (If We're So in Love, Why Aren't We Happy?: Using Spiritual Principles To Solve Real Problems and Restore Your Passion) presents the notion of a spiritual partnership, or one that uses loving actions instead of verbal communication as the key means of enhancing love and resolving conflict. Spiritual partnership also involves shifting the focus from changing one's partner to changing oneself. Some of Page's suggestions include adopting a spirit of goodwill and acting as if one were a loving, adoring spouse and vice versa. Both authors bring a strong spiritual component to their recommendations, although Burns espouses a more traditional religious standpoint. Page has the rare ability to bring the spiritual down to earth and apply it to everyday situations. Her writing is clear, and her suggestions are easy to follow. Intimate Marriage will be particularly popular in Christian circles; Talking should work anywhere. Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal