Table of Contents
Introduction 11
Chapter 1 Indwelling 15
Indwelling 16
Solitude 19
Racing 23
Chapter 2 Deception 29
The Emperor's New Clothes 30
Science 34
The Map Is Not the Territory 37
Chapter 3 Imperfection 43
Nothing Less Than Perfect 44
Excellence 47
The First Signs of Difficulty 51
Chapter 4 Self-Criticism 55
A Lifetime of Criticism 56
The Road to Self-Indictment 59
Stubborn Defensiveness 63
Chapter 5 Sadness 67
Existential Sadness 68
The Trouble with Nothingness 71
Dark Night of the Soul 75
Chapter 6 Hungers 79
The International Bohemian Highway 80
Idealism 84
Recognition 88
Chapter 7 Potential 93
The Bright Flashlight 94
Hidden Undera Bushel 97
Forced Modesty 101
Chapter 8 Threats 105
Bullying 106
Labeling 109
Smart Teen, Powerful Addiction 113
Chapter 9 Anxiety 119
Sensitive to the Touch 120
Performance 124
God-Bug Anxiety 127
Chapter 10 Individuality 133
Individuality 134
Loneliness 137
Katya on Individuality 141
Chapter 11 Alienation 147
The Completely Wrong Place 148
The Nocturnal Liberal Queer Atheist 151
Search and Rescue 155
Chapter 12 Wired 159
Online 160
Attention/Deficit 166
Productive Obsessions 170
Chapter 13 Relationships 175
Friendship 176
Sex 179
Peers 183
Chapter 14 Family 187
Collisions 188
Adverse Childhood Experiences 191
The Life and Death of Imagination 195
Chapter 15 Circumstances 201
Inhibited 202
Inside/Outside 205
Shifting Landscapes 209
Chapter 16 School 213
Five Ordeals 214
Talent as Demand 217
College 221
In Conclusion 225
About the Author 229