Why Did No One Tell Me This?: The Doulas' (Honest) Guide for Expectant Parents

by Natalia Hailes, Ash Spivak, Louise Reimer (Illustrator)

Overview

Why Did No One Tell Me This? answers the questions about pregnancy and childbirth you’re afraid to ask and didn’t even know you had with the positive, personality-filled advice of two experts.
 
Reproductive health experts and doulas Natalia Hailes and Ash Spivak break down every part of pregnancy and childbirth into sections, vibrantly illustrated by artist Louise Reimer, complete with funny and bite-sized pieces of advice. Doubts and fears that often surround childbirth are explored to empower readers to understand their own individual needs, know their rights, and find their voice both during and after pregnancy.
 
This unflinching and uplifting guide addresses the following “What Ifs” and more:

• What if you don’t get the birth you want?
• What if you get postpartum depression?
• What if the “Cascade of Interventions” happens to you?
• What if you poop yourself while pushing?
• What if you don’t feel ready to go back to work?
• What if you lose yourself?

Why Did No One Tell Me This? is a book of answers and a real look at everything going on in your body from common misconceptions to new anatomy to mental health struggles.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780762495665
Publisher:	Running Press Book Publishers
Publication date:	04/07/2020
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	125,625
Product dimensions:	6.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Ash Spivak is an Internationally Certified Birth Doula and co-founder of Allbodies (allbodies.com), a digital platform for modern health education. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Newsweek, and Teen Vogue.

Natalia Hailes is a birth doula, lactation specialis,t and reproductive health educator. She's worked with hundreds of families supporting them through pregnancy and beyond, and as a mother herself she speaks from experience. Originally from Colombia, she spent 15 years in NYC and recently moved to Richmond, VA. Her work has been featured in Newsweek, Refinery29, Well+Good, Business Insider, and MindBodyGreen, among others. Learn more at nataliahailes.com.

Table of Contents

Hello! Start Here 1

Dear Readers 1

What Is a Doula Anyway? 3

Setting the Foundation 5

Part 1 Drowning Out the Noise and Learning to Listen to You 7

Tuning In: Learning to Listen to You 12

Let That Baby Guide You 15

What Is Your Body Telling You?! 17

Go with Your Gut: #ThisIsHowIWasBorn 22

Your Emotions Are Telling You Important Shit 24

The Soundtrack in Your Head 28

Getting Support: Setting the Record Straight (WTF?!) 34

Getting Support: Building Your Squad 41

Getting Support: Working through Those Extra Blocks for LGBTQ+ Folks 43

Putting It All Together: This Is Your Birthday Party. You're the Boss 49

Part 2 This is Why You're Boss: The Crazy Cool Shit Your Body Can Do 53

Your Body Has Been Prepping for This from the Beginning 55

This Is How You Grow a Baby: New Ways to Think about Your Changing Body 58

Meet Your Hormones 62

Welcome to Your Baby's Home-That You Freakin' Made from Scratch! 69

The Uterus Part 1: Oh How it Grows (and Shrinks!) 73

The Uterus Part 2: Demystifying Those Contractions 75

The Almighty Cervix 80

The Pelvis Part 1: A Pelvis like Elvis 82

The Pelvis Part 2: I Have a What?! Discover Your Pelvic Floor 85

Got Milk 88

Don't Forget Your Baby: It Takes Two 92

Part 3 The Perenatal What-IFS 97

What If … I Don't Get the Birth I Want? 98

What If … I Stay Pregnant Forever? 101

What If … I'm Told I Need to Be Induced? 103

What If … My Water Breaks on My Boss's Shoe? 108

What If … I Give Birth in the Car? 112

What If … My Baby Is Too Big? 115

What If … My Labor Stalls? 118

What If … I Have Back Labor? 121

What If … I Have a 72-Hour Labor? 125

What If … It Hurts Like Hell? 131

What If … I Have to Transfer? 134

What If … The "Cascade of Interventions" Happens to Me? 136

What If … I'm Told I Need a C-Section? 141

What If … I Poop Myself While Pushing? 146

What If … My Vagina Tears Open? 147

What If … Something Goes Wrong? 152

Part 4 The Postpartum What-IFS 155

What If … I Can't Stand My In-Laws? 156

What If … I Lose Myself? 158

What If … I End Up with a Saggy Chest, a Pooch, and a Stretched-Out Vag Forever? 162

What If … I Don't Have Enough Milk? 165

What If … I Irreversibly Mess Up My Baby? 171

What If … I Never Sleep Again? 176

What If … My Baby Never Stops Crying? 179

What If … I Get Postpartum Depression? 181

What If … I Never Want to Have Sex Again? 185

What If … I Don't Feel Ready to Go Back to Work? 189

Part 5 Your Tools to Return to 193

Can Your Birth Place and Care Providers Actually Give You What You Need? 194

Building Your Dream Team 199

Rethinking Stages of Labor 203

Cheat Sheet: Coping with Labor 212

Positions to Open the Pelvis (Prepping for and during Labor) 218

Resting Positions (In Labor) 223

Top Tips for an Epidural 224

Top Tips for Breast/Chest-Feeding 228

Top Tips for Your Postpartum Body 232

Don't Freak Out If…: Quelling Your Postpartum Concerns 236

Don't Freak Out If…: Weird Baby Stuff That's Totally Normal 237

Partners, Read This Page 240

We'll Leave You with This…

Birth as a Life Metaphor: Your Own Power as Creator 245

Acknowledgments 247

Resources 248

Citations 251

Index 260