Table of Contents
Chapter 1 Chola Wishes & Caviar Dreams 1
Chapter 2 I'm Mexican/Hella American 17
Chapter 3 The People Who Made Me Breakfast 30
Chapter 4 I Love Jesus, but I Will Punch a Ho 53
Chapter 5 The One Where I Almost Gave Up 64
Chapter 6 I'm Dating You Because I'm Hungry 86
Chapter 7 Shine Like a Diamond in the Sky 98
Chapter 8 Chin-Checked by Prince, Ordained by Oprah 119
Chapter 9 Manjelah 138
Chapter 10 Home Is Where the Hotel Is 165
Chapter 11 A Sucker for Stray Dogs 182
Chapter 12 Please Don't Die, Okay? 199
Chapter 13 Do You & Do You Well 208
Chapter 14 The Evolution of Funjelah 221
Chapter 15 How Do You Spell Sabbatical? 235
Epilogue: Live Life with an ! 253
Acknowledgments 255
About the Author 259