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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781504922197 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | AuthorHouse |
| Publication date: | 07/14/2015 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 88 |
| File size: | 196 KB |
Read an Excerpt
When the Sun Dimmed
By Leela Maharaj
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2015 Leela MaharajAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5049-2218-0
CHAPTER 1
Chemical Imbalance
This is my experience and my story, which I would like to share with you. I hope to save you from experiences as painful as mine. I was forty-nine years old and had undergone a hysterectomy, which set off a chain reaction of horrific experiences. Later I learned from my doctor that I was suffering from a chemical imbalance due to the changes in my body. Today, after many months of struggle, I understand that my situation is not unique; I have learned that both genders can experience these same symptoms for many different reasons.
Many changes can occur in both men and women and cause depression or anxiety, though this occurs in women more often. But depression and anxiety are not purely female issues. I encourage you to educate yourself about these conditions.
Depression and anxiety are topics that make people anxious, so we may be uncomfortable speaking about them. This is why we may feel ashamed, insecure, and unequipped to deal with these problems. I say to you now, that the cure for any problem is knowledge.
What causes depression? We do not really know the reason for depression, but we know that chemicals called neurotransmitters (specifically serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine) regulate mood, cognition, sleep, appetite, and behavior. When these neurotransmitters are out of balance, they create imbalance in the brain.
Depression can have a considerable effect on us. The more we know about depression, the more patient, compassionate, and understanding we will become. Your depressed loved one will need time to recover. Communication is the key. Depression can be treated with the help of medication, family support, and therapeutic instruction. Depression can be cured. To make these changes permanent takes consistency, persistence, and repetition.
Women are the strength in a home, and men are the support. A woman plays the roles of a mother, sister, friend, and nurse, and sometime she provides financial support for her household. Men, on the other hand, traditionally bear the responsibility of being the main financial support in the home and are the authority figures at home.
A woman may add tasks to her already-packed schedule, which she manages in the time she has available. Both men and women ignore self-care to take care of children and the home. This book is intended to alert both men and women to the changes that take place within and how stress can become destructive. Pay attention to what is happening to your body and your mind to avoid reaching the breaking point. We all need accurate information on preventing this burnout.
Natural changes in the female body can cause women to suffer from chemical imbalances that cause anxiety and depression. Women, you need to educate yourselves on menopause, chemical imbalances, and anxiety and depression. First teach yourselves, and then share this information with others.
Men or husband be supportive to your partner. Their knowledge may be helpful to you. Understand the women in your life, for in any relationship understanding is necessary. To lose a partner may break you mentally and physically.
Daughters, learn to understand your mothers. As young women, you experience anxiety and depression. Her advice and information may be the key to avoid unnecessary suffering.
Sons, learn to understand your mothers, they are your first teachers. Learn from their experiences, and become compassionate, caring gentlemen. The world will soon be under your control.
Let us teach others from our experiences, help each other, and show them the path to happiness. Share your knowledge and lift the ones who have fallen by giving them the courage to hope. Let us increase their faith, give them strength, shower them with love, and bring happiness into their lives again. Love them and make them understand that they are valuable and they will overcome this obstacle with the correct medication and with your support.
Women, support each other, for you are your best supporters. Don't forget that you are your sisters' protectors, not their worst enemies.
Men, do not be ashamed when faced with these difficulties or discomforts. Know that there is help and that you can seek that help.
CHAPTER 2Why Does Depression Occur?
There is no way to know when, why, or how depression begins. There is no way to tell exactly when a person will fall victim to this condition, but learning and reading about these topics will provide an education that may save you. Get information on menopause, chemical imbalances, and how they are related to anxiety and depression. Read about these topics, talk to your doctors, and insist that they educate you. You can also talk to your mother, your father, or a friend who might have experienced these mood issues. Ask what medications are available to you. It is never too early to learn. Changes can begin as early as your teens. Eventually, when we think we have everything under control, we are greeted by this big surprise — something is happening to us, something is wrong, and our first reaction is panic.
Is any type of person at special risk? No. Whether housewife or professional, depression does not discriminate. It can afflict anyone at any time.
Why does it happen?
There is really no single reason. Depression does not happen because of physical or emotional weakness. It may not be preventable, but knowledge can make us more prepared to deal with it if it does happen. Your doctors can prescribe medication to reduce the symptoms if it does. There is no reason to be ashamed of this illness.
Be open, be brave, and talk to your doctors, family members, and trustworthy friends. This is no shame or blot on your life. Be proud of who you are. Speak about yourself and ask questions. Going through changes only makes you more beautiful and stronger. Growing older is not a curse — it is a privilege. You are blessed by God, and as you grow older, you will get more help from God because you have built a relationship with Him.
When we were young, life was busy, full of excitement and fun, a hectic merry-go-round. Life is still fun as we grow older. With experience and God's support, life is good. Ladies, these changes do not make you less feminine. You do not become invisible or lose your beauty. In fact your beauty is enhanced with grace and elegance. Men, this is a frightening experience, but please don't shy away or hide from the world. As hard as this experience may be, you must face it, seek help, and educate yourselves to fight this disease.
When you are depressed, if you pay attention to people who make you feel incapable, you will see that they are still expecting from you. They still expect you to take care of the home and of the family, and you continue to do that. You are suffering from an imbalance, and that doesn't mean you have become incapable.
If your spouse doesn't want to understand this change, know that there is help and you can seek it. You are still the same, but sometimes your normal activities might become difficult to handle. However, you are not crazy.
As a woman, do what I did. I spoke to my husband, my sisters, my children, my mother, and my doctor. I was advised on the best way to proceed, the best medication, and how to adjust and understand what is happening to me. My husband, my children, and all my family members became my strength. They support me because I made the decision to talk and explain, and this is why I got a constructive response. This is the first step toward becoming strong and moving to wellness.
My dear friends don't feel alone. Many others have fallen victim to this illness. More will suffer from it over time, so learn and become teachers to others.
You are not crazy, so don't let anyone say that you are. Ignorant people lack compassion. It is my wish to teach, share, and help others who have found themselves in this situation, to educate those who might get here, and to prevent others from suffering as badly as I did.
Friends, no longer must you hide yourselves away or remain silent. Speak up! You will learn something that will be helpful to you. Sharing and love will empower you to become happy.
Take time to listen to good counsel. We can learn valuable lessons through listening. Hiding in silence can destroy you. Fight and become victorious.
Remember to say this mantra every day.
Today I will smile,
because it makes me feel better.
Today I will smile,
because it is good for my health.
Today I will smile,
because a smile is what it takes to bring
success, to share love,
to fill me with energy, and to make me feel
like flying.
If only I knew the value of my smile,
I would never have let it fade or allowed a
single thought to push it out.
Today I know the power of my smile, and
today I will never let it fade.
The Doom Day
Such exhaustion! I felt overtaken, as if something was draining my body and mind. I could not understand this tiredness. There was no reason for this to happen; I was not overworking. At that point I realized something was wrong.
My first reaction was withdrawal from my family and friends, as I tried to fix what was happening. This was like drowning. The more I remained silent and stayed in bed, the worse I felt. Eventually I began to fear that I was going crazy. At this point I broke down and began crying. My husband was very upset, seeing me crying so much. He begged me to talk to my children, who live abroad. I did not want them to see me crying; I felt that it made me looked weak. I kept these feelings bottled up until I felt unable to breathe. I wanted answers and miracles. I needed a quick fix. Where could I find this miracle? I begged God to help me. But nothing changed.
My choices were swim or drown, and I chose to swim. I called my sister, Lisa, and told her that something was wrong with me. I needed help, and she made time to come to me. I realized that my mind was turning against me like an enemy. How can someone's own mind turn against her? Is this possible? Yes. Today I understand what I always knew: I am a soul inside this body. This soul is the boss of my body, but because this soul had taken the back seat for so many years, my mind saw itself as the boss. But without my soul, this mind has no power and would not be alive.
So the big question is, "Why is my mind fighting me, instilling fear in me, and just disturbing me? It is trying to take control of my body? In doing this, it is removing my happiness, my smile, and my zeal for life. There are scientific terms for what was taking place in my body; the most popular words are menopause and chemical imbalance. These are real biological influences that affect women. They involve no bleeding, but they can cause internal destruction that requires medical attention. Ladies, set aside your pride! Don't listen to negative comments. This suffering entity is your mind, and you need to fix it. A sick mind can destroy a good, happy life. Don't allow this to destroy you. I have made the decision to fight and take back control. My happiness and laughter are my greatest treasures. I want my happiness back.
How do I take control?
I take control through understanding, by taking baby steps toward positive thinking. Most importantly, I stay positive and maintain my faith that all will be well.
That's more easily said than done.
Continue to remind yourself to stay positive. Don't blame yourself. Understand that this imbalance will be restored. The body will recalibrate its estrogen levels slowly but surely, and you will begin feeling your happiness returning. Do not underestimate the mind, it has the capability to repair and restore. You have to make choices, show courage, and have patience. Learn to share your thoughts and accept help. This is the first step toward recovery. Here is a positive thought that my daughter Virmala shared with me: "Be patient with YOU through this transition period."
CHAPTER 4The Onset of Depression
As my sense of doom settled in, I observed these signs.
1. Withdrawal
2. Frequently feeling upset and hurt
3. Uncommunicative behavior
4. Increased muscle pain
5. Exhaustion
6. Anxiety
7. Fear of going crazy
8. Sadness without cause
9. Loss of appetite
10. Shame
The mood fueled by all these factors is the worst feeling one could experience, like a dark tunnel with no escape. I now realize how early those sensations began with me, but like everyone else, I was too busy to address my darkening mood. Did I pay attention? No. Did I ask for help? No.
I cannot really say that my experience was entirely a surprise. I saw all the signs, but I chose to look away. Today I am sorry I did not respond more hastily, but I have not given up. Depression comes on stealthily, like a thief; it steals your emotions, kills your happiness, and destroys your appetite. It makes you confused and fearful.
What do you do when this happens? Just as you know that death will come but can never prepare yourself for it; it is hard to be prepared for depression. Happy people are carefree and also, sometimes, careless.
My good friends, let's remember to take care of our total health. Let us understand this mind and not give it the power to ruin us. Treat it with respect, but remember that we don't have to accept the bad thoughts that pull us down, destroy our happiness, and drain our energy. Our minds can fluster us and lead us into anger. After that, there is no control. We stay upset and void our happiness, and then what happens? Life becomes tasteless, and it takes time before you can return to normal. Void of happiness, you cannot speak nicely, and that is precious time lost and gone forever.
This is why we must have good, clean thoughts to help us retain a high level of happiness. Feed your intellect the correct food for your mind to function well and not to fail you or work against you.
Stop negativity from taking up space in your head. Find a way to get rid of it. Instead, fill your head with joy, which gives us the energy to conquer.
I advise you to become carefree, not careless. Take care to fill the mind with the correct material and feed it the proper food. A happy mind can never fail you. We all need to understand what our thoughts can do. Learn from mistakes and do not allow ego to engulf you. This brings no benefit. Filling the mind with many good qualities will bring benefit to yourself and others.
Share love, show compassion, and practice training the mind to do well. In times of stress, these habits will serve us well.
A mind trained to think positively will maintain that habit, even when depression and anxiety test it. With this training and proper medication, you can recover. Never give up. Relief will come in time. Be patient and accept the help offered to you.
CHAPTER 5Mental Tiredness
I felt well, like my normal self again. Smiling, laughing, and talking felt awesome. I was doing all that I was accustomed to doing. I advise you, when you have that awesome feeling that comes with recovery, to go slowly. Don't overwork. You may still tire and feel stress quickly. Overreaching is not optimal. Do a little work and get to bed early. Give your body time to adjust to the changes that are taking place. This gentle routine will help you to stay balanced.
Let me share one experience: the first time when I began to feel well again. I was so happy to feel better that I went right back being that busy person. I shifted into high gear and did not think twice about pacing myself. I was so happy to be happy that I forgot that I was, in fact, still recovering. I took no precautions to conserve my energy. By 2 PM I was totally tired, and the niggling fear began creeping back. My decision to work so hard had not been the right choice. The fear of not recovering returned as my energy level dropped, and my hope took a dip as well. Horrific thoughts returned. I understood that I had been getting stronger. I was just careless and did not conserve my energy. As soon as my negative-thinking mind got the opportunity to take control, it did. It created all these negative thoughts that pulled my whole spirit and body down. A person can begin to feel lifeless, living without hope, but I know that there is hope within me, even when the hope is hard to locate. I felt as if I had been hit by a tornado. I then tried to take support from those around me and from God. I do have a strong support system and loved ones to talk to me, and they make me laugh. These simple, little tools are big cures for this illness called depression.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from When the Sun Dimmed by Leela Maharaj. Copyright © 2015 Leela Maharaj. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Contents
CHAPTER 1 Chemical Imbalance, 1,CHAPTER 2 Why Does Depression Occur?, 5,
CHAPTER 3 The Doom Day, 9,
CHAPTER 4 The Onset of Depression, 12,
CHAPTER 5 Mental Tiredness, 15,
CHAPTER 6 The Impact of Depressive Fatigue, 19,
CHAPTER 7 Seek Your Doctor's Advice, 22,
CHAPTER 8 God, the Doctor of All Doctors, 25,
CHAPTER 9 Wisdom from My Daughter, 29,
CHAPTER 10 Traffic Jam, 32,
CHAPTER 11 Plus Words and Minus Words, 36,
CHAPTER 12 Support from Family and Friends, 39,
CHAPTER 13 The Return of Insecurity, 43,
CHAPTER 14 Taking Care of You, 46,
CHAPTER 15 Banish Shame, 49,
CHAPTER 16 The Importance of Medication, 53,
CHAPTER 17 How Do We Accept Help?, 56,
CHAPTER 18 Believe in Yourself, 62,
CHAPTER 19 Managing Anger, 66,
CHAPTER 20 Essential Self-Management: A Short List, 69,