When Someone You Love is Wiccan: A Guide to Witchcraft and Paganism for Concerned Friends, Nervous Parents, and Curious Coworkers

by Carl McColman

Overview

“This is the best book to break the ice when someone decides to come ‘out of the broom closet.’”—Spiral Nature
 
An accessible introduction to one of the world’s most misunderstood spiritual practices to share with family and friends.

 At last, a book that explains Pagan spirituality to non-Pagans in a balanced, accessible way. It acknowledges the natural anxiety many non-Pagans may feel when confronted by a son, daughter, sibling, friend, or co-worker who suddenly proclaims, "I'm a Witch!"

Wicca and Paganism are among the world's fastest growing religions. It's apparent that much of this growth is due to teenage and young adults involvement. While this may be a positive sign to veteran practitioners, it may be understandably worrisome, even frightening, to many of the parents, family members, friends, and associates of today's witches.

Aimed specifically at those who may have little interest in practicing Wicca themselves, When Someone You Love Is Wiccan includes:

• A brief introduction to Wicca and Paganism.
• Reasons why so many people are attracted to Paganism.
• Understanding the ethical and moral dimensions of Wicca.
• What not to do when interacting with Wiccans and other Pagans.
• Why the "Burning Times" are essential to understanding Wicca.
• Advice for those who might like to explore Wicca themselves.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781564146229
Publisher:	Red Wheel/Weiser
Publication date:	05/21/2008
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Carl McColman writes about the spiritual life. His books published since 2010 express his love for contemplative, monastic and mystical Christianity. His older books, published before 2005, explored a variety of topics including paganism and goddess spirituality. Carl's work is characterized by an optimistic, expansive understanding of spirituality, rooted in Christianity while embracing the wisdom of the world's contemplative traditions. In his own words, "I am passionate about helping people to embody creative, joyful lives of love and service, formed by prayer, silence, and the wisdom of the saints and mystics." Carl McColman learned the practice of contemplative prayer at the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation. He is a professed Lay Cistercian — a layperson under the guidance of Trappist monks. He regularly speaks, teaches and conducts retreats on contemplative Christian practice, and blogs at www.carlmccolman.com.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

Why would I want to read a book about Witchcraft?

This is a book about Paganism, Wicca, and ... Witchcraft. Yes, Witchcraft. Go ahead, think about all the stereotypes. Ugly old hags riding brooms, and stirring cauldrons in which they're brewing their poisons. Cackling maniacally as they cast their spells designed to hurt people, or as they turn up the heat to cook poor Hansel and Gretel.

Maybe you have a more sophisticated view of Witchcraft. Perhaps you've seen the books about modern Witchcraft for sale at your local metaphysical bookstore. You know that it is a modern religion that began in England in the mid-20th century. It was inspired by scholars who believed that the so-called "Witches" who were burned at the stake in centuries past were actually practicing the old, primal religion of ancient Europe that existed prior to the coming of Christianity. That's much closer to the truth. But in all honesty, it's still not necessarily your first choice of a religion!

This book is an unusual book about Witchcraft. Most of the books about it are written either for college professors who are studying it, or for individuals who are interested in it for themselves. Well, the professorial books are generally expensive and hard to find, so your average bookstore is only going to have the books for people who actually want to be a Witch.

Some of those books are really good, intelligent books filled with thoughtful ideas and interesting perspectives on religion. Others are silly; they pander to the stereotypes of Witches, and promise the reader how to get everything they want out of life just by casting a spell. Real Witches often make fun of those because such books tend to lack spiritual depth.

The book you're holding is written for a different kind of reader. I'm assuming that you are reading this book not because you want to be a Witch, but probably because you're either curious, nervous, or fully alarmed because someone you know is a Witch. That someone might be a friend, a coworker, or — gasp! One of your kids. Teenagers are fascinated by the subject of Witchcraft. For some, it's just adolescent rebellion (hey, I bet they're the ones buying all the goofy books on casting spells). But for others, it is a thoughtful, serious interest in a spirituality that's based on nature. Witchcraft is nature spirituality. Witches believe that nature is sacred and holy. Well, in our day, with all the threats to the environment, we need more people to believe nature is sacred, don't you think?

Modern Witchcraft is related to a larger spiritual movement known as Paganism or Neopaganism. Many Witches also use the word Wicca to describe Witchcraft. Later in this book I'll explain the subtle differences between Paganism, Witchcraft, and Wicca, but for now I want to make sure you are familiar with each of these words. For the purposes of this book, I will be using them almost interchangeably. There are some nicknames for Witchcraft, including the craft, the craft of the wise, and the old religion. Just for variety's sake, I'll use those nicknames from time to time. Finally, Wicca can be called nature spirituality or Goddess spirituality, so I'll use those terms as well.

CHAPTER 2

Why would anyone want to call themselves a Witch?

Remember the movie The Wizard of Oz, where Glinda asks Dorothy if she's a good Witch or a bad Witch? Dorothy immediately insists she's not a Witch — how could she be, since Witches are old and ugly? Laughing, Glinda points out to Dorothy that she, Glinda, is herself a Witch. Glinda is neither old nor ugly, and Dorothy soon realizes Glinda is indeed a good Witch.

The first lesson Dorothy learns in Oz is that goodness and Witchcraft can coexist. Even though Dorothy has to overcome a particularly nasty bad Witch while in Oz, the distinction has been made: not all Witches are bad, therefore, some Witches can be good. It's important to understand this distinction, for this is the key to understanding why hundreds of thousands of intelligent, mature, spiritually motivated people are today embracing Witchcraft. They are not motivated by Witchcraft's "bad" stereotype, but rather by the goodness that they have found in the craft.

Let's acknowledge the traditional stereotypes. To many people, the words Witch and Witchcraft conjure up images such as:

* Ugly old hags stirring cauldrons with noxious fumes spilling out of them.

* Spiteful sorceresses who cast magic spells meant to hurt people.

* Some biddy with a wart on her nose who rides a broomstick.

If that's all that Witchcraft is about, why would anyone in their right mind ever want to be a Witch?

These caricatures have more to do with Hollywood than with reality. Real Witches are like most human beings. Some are beautiful, some are plain, most are average. Some are highly evolved individuals with an almost saint-like sense of ethics and compassion, while others are ordinary people who just want their fair share of what life has to offer. In other words, real Witches just don't match up with the Hollywood stereotypes.

Instead of being ugly hags who like to eat children, modern Witches are mostly educated, intelligent, ethical people with an avid interest in the ancient wisdom traditions of Europe and other parts of the world. Modern Witches believe that we can learn to live life in accordance with the inherent wisdom of nature, based on the primal traditions of ancient Europe. And far from eating babies, many Witches are strict vegetarians who insist on consuming only organic produce!

An ethical person dedicated to wisdom certainly sounds better than the Hollywood stereotype of the bad Witch. Still, you may be wondering, why use the words Witch and Witchcraft at all? Why don't Witches find a less controversial word to describe themselves? The answer is disarmingly simple. Some people like the idea of being a good Witch. They like the aura of mystery, magic, and spiritual power associated with Witchcraft. They study and practice Witchcraft for good reasons, such as learning to be a healer or to become more loving and trusting people. If it's used for good, why not be a Witch?

Some (but not all) modern Witches also use the words Wiccan and Wicca as alternative names for Witches and Witchcraft, respectively. These words come from the Middle English word for a male Witch (the female variant is Wicce, but that doesn't get used nearly as much). Others prefer the words Pagan and Paganism, based on the idea that Witchcraft originated in the Pagan religions of ancient Europe. Over the past 50 years, the words Witchcraft/Witch, Wicca/Wiccan, and Paganism/Pagan have all come to mean slightly different things, distinctions that we'll explore more closely in Part Two. For the purposes of this book, however, these terms are used more or less interchangeably. Which means that there are several words available to describe this spiritual path. If someone likes the words Witch and Witchcraft to describe nature-based religion, they can use them. If they prefer language that's less controversial, they can identify themselves as Pagan or Wiccan.

CHAPTER 3

So Witchcraft isn't about ugly hags riding on brooms?

We looked at how Hollywood plays a role in shaping the stereotypes that persist about Wicca. Believe it or not, what most people think about Witches, Witchcraft, and similar subjects come to us primarily through movies, TV, and popular culture in general.

Who hasn't felt a chill at the cackle of the Wicked Witch of the West as she flew through the air on her broom, painting "Surrender Dorothy" with infernal smoke across the clear blue sky? Who hasn't lumped Witches together with ghosts, monsters, and goblins, thanks to the marketing of kiddie costumes every year at Halloween? If you live in the United States, you get exposed to plenty of images of Witches, but these images are created by Hollywood and Madison Avenue. They are meant not to teach or enlighten us, but simply to entertain us and make a few bucks.

It's not my purpose here to pick on the entertainment industry, but I do think it's unfortunate how the stereotypes of Witches-as-evil-hags-who-do-nasty-things-with- their-super-natural-powers persist, thanks largely to show business. Part of your job in educating yourself about Witchcraft will be to un-learn all the myths from Hollywood about the craft.

Even though some of the images of Witches in popular culture are better than others (most Pagans would take Harry Potter over Rosemary's Baby any day of the week), none of the pop-culture images of Witchcraft are entirely accurate or fair. Anyone who truly wants to learn about the craft as it is practiced by real people today first must eliminate all the falsehoods that they've seen in print or on the screen over the years.

Here is just a smattering redundant of the misconceptions about Witches that appear in movies or books or elsewhere. If you are knowledgeable about Witchcraft, you'll see how every one of these is erroneous in at least one significant way. If you are not knowledgeable, read this with the understanding that these are inaccurate ideas.

* The myth of Hansel and Gretel: Witches are ugly hags who eat innocent children.

* The myth of Practical Magic or The Craft: Witches are young, sexy babes, who are morally neutral and given to casting love spells, and need to be careful that they don't get themselves into trouble with their magic.

* The myth of the Harry Potter series: Witches are only women, because men, after all, are wizards. And while some Witches and wizards are good, others are evil, and use their magic powers to hurt people. You better be careful.

* The myth of Bewitched or Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Witches are good-looking, successful, suburbanite women and girls. But somehow, they seem to always get themselves into some sort of comical mess.

* The myth of Buffy the Vampire Slyer or Charmed: Witches are basically good-hearted people with a certain measure of supernatural ability. But the universe we live in has so much evil nasty stuff in it that the main function of Wicca has to be perpetual vigilance against the forces of darkness.

* The myth of The Witches of Eastwick: Witches are basically nice women who get duped by the devil.

* The myth of Rosemary's Baby: Witches are Satan worshipers, not above arranging for the devil to rape an unsuspecting young woman so that she can give birth to his evil son.

* The myth of The Wizard of Oz: there are good Witches and there are bad Witches. The good Witches fly around in bubbles and look like fairy godmothers. The bad witches are much more striking, with their green skin, flying brooms, ability to appear and disappear in a flash of orange smoke, and their stylish winged-monkey servants. Alas, they easily melt.

* The myth of Bell, Book, and Candle: Witches can't fall in love, unless they are willing to give up their powers.

* The myth of The Chronicles of Narnia: Witches are the bad guys.

* The myth of The Blair Witch Project: Witches are mysterious, unknown figures who live in the dark, unknown woods. They are scary as hell.

* The myth of Monty Python and the Holy Grail: it's okay to make light of the people who persecuted and killed alleged Witches (although this movie get points for depicting those who persecute Witches as really, really stupid looking).

I'm sure there are others I've left out, but this list will give you a basic sense of just how prominent the image of the Witch is in our culture — and how inaccurate these images are.

Witches don't eat babies or children. They aren't necessarily old, ugly hags, or sexy young women. Wiccans include both women and men, young and old, rich and poor, Ph.Ds and high school dropouts. Most hold down respectable jobs and live in nice homes with their families. Witches, Wiccans, and Pagans don't believe in, let alone worship, Satan or any other devil. Real Witches don't fly on brooms, don't keep winged monkeys as pets, and not one has ever melted when taking a shower. Wiccans fall in love just as much as anyone else, and don't think the universe we live in is a particularly bad place. In fact, most Pagans love the universe as the direct creation of the Goddess they adore.

In short, the average Witch is not that different from the average person, period. Except that they are Witches, instead of being Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or Buddhist.

There's nothing wrong with watching an entertaining film or reading a good book, even if they're not 100 percent accurate in their depiction of Witches (or of anyone else). But it's important to remember that the entertainment business should not be the source of our opinions on Witchcraft or any other topic.

CHAPTER 4

Is Witchcraft evil?

If you learn just one thing from this book, I hope it's this: Pagans, including Witches and Wiccans, are not Satanists.

Let me repeat it. The practitioners of modern Paganism, Witchcraft, and Wicca, do not believe in Satan. They do not worship Satan, or talk about him in their rituals. They have nothing to do with devil worship — period.

If anything, Pagans are sick and tired of the devil. They just wish he'd go away.

For hundreds of years, Christians have used the words "Witch" and "Witchcraft" to describe devil worshipers and Satanists. That's a Christian idea, and no Wiccans accept it.

Christianity is not perfect. For hundreds of years, Christians believed the sun revolved around the Earth. Up until recent times, many Christians believed slavery was okay and most Christians believed wives should obey their husbands for no other reason than their gender. Today, nearly all people, including most Christians, realize that these erroneous beliefs were mistakes made by their religion in the past.

Well, the Christian idea about Witchcraft was also a mistake.

Most scholars believe that once Christianity became the dominant religion in Europe, it adopted a policy of intolerance toward the older religions that existed in Europe before it. These older religions were regarded as superstition, sorcery, and eventually as devil worship. But the devil is a Christian concept, not a native European idea. Since the Christians believed in the devil, they assumed that anyone practicing a religion other than Christianity must be a devil-worshiper. In other word, they projected their concept of Satan onto non-Christians. And then they called the non-Christians heretics ... and Witches.

By the 15th century, intellectuals in the Christian church were writing books about how to hunt down these alleged devil-worshipers. This led to one of the most shameful chapters of human history, the 250-year period in which tens of thousands of people (mostly women) were killed for the "crime" of Witchcraft.

Today, most historians believe that the so-called Witches who were killed throughout Europe and in U. S. towns such as Salem, Massachusetts, were not really Witches at all, at least not how we understand the term today. In fact, most of those people would probably have thought of themselves as Christians. Some of them may have been herbalists or midwives, using ancient natural wisdom as healers. But none of them, so far as we can tell, were ever involved in an organized religion of devil worship. That, apparently, was just the paranoid fantasy of the men who took it upon themselves to rid the world of evil.

In our day, we still have people who make unilateral decisions that there are groups of people who are "evil" and must therefore be destroyed. Adolf Hitler built a political career around his belief that Jews needed to be exterminated. In more recent years, terrorists such as Osama Bin Laden have been driven by hatred of Americans, seeing the United States as "the great Devil" that must be eradicated.

Again and again, these people who attack the evil they see in others are doing what psychologists call projection. In other words, instead of taking responsibility for their own problems and working to make their own lives better, these disturbed people blame others for their misfortunes, decide that those whom they blame are evil, and then try to destroy them. They think they are the righteous warriors on a mission from God. But to everyone else, they appear to be merely deranged, deluded, and (unfortunately) dangerous.

Many feminists believe that the attack on so-called Witches in the 15th through 17th centuries was really an attack on women. Scholars estimate that as many as 95 percent of those killed for Witchcraft were women. Why would a culture be so convinced that women outnumber men in their capacity for "evil" on a ratio of 19 to 1?

From the vantage point of the 20th century, we know that for thousands of years, women have endured second-class status in many parts of the world. In Christianity, God is a male, and (except in recent years) his priests were all males. Many Christian theologians interpreted the story of Eve and the Serpent in the Bible and concluded that it was woman's fault that human beings were "fallen." Perhaps the Witch craze represents a hysterical period in a culture that was so sexist that it actually turned on its own women, killing them instead of loving and cherishing them.

(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "When Someone You Love Is Wiccan"
by .
Copyright © 2003 Carl McColman.
Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction,
Part One: When Someone You Love Is Wiccan,
1. Why would I want to read a book about Witchcraft?,
2. Why would anyone want to call themselves a Witch?,
3. So Witchcraft isn't about ugly hags riding on brooms?,
4. Is Witchcraft evil?,
5. What is Witchcraft?,
6. What's so good about Witchcraft?,
7. Do Witches worship God?,
8. Is Witchcraft safe?,
9. Why should we take Witchcraft seriously? Isn't it just a big joke?,
Part Two: Understanding Witchcraft,
10. What is the difference between Witchcraft and Wicca?,
11. What is the difference between Witchcraft, Wicca, and other forms of Paganism?,
12. Is there more than one kind of Witchcraft?,
13. Is Witchcraft hereditary?,
14. Why are male Witches not called wizards or warlocks?,
15. What is the pentacle, and why do Witches wear it?,
16. What is a magical name? Why do Witches use it?,
17. Why is there so much secrecy surrounding Witchcraft?,
18. What's the big deal about the "burning times"?,
Part Three: Going Beyond the Stereotypes,
19. Why do Witches wear black?,
20. Do Witches have familiars?,
21. Why are Witches portrayed as stirring a cauldron? What's in the cauldron anyway?,
22. Do Witches practice animal or human sacrifice?,
23. Are Witches on drugs?,
24. Do Witches have orgies?,
25. Do Witches do their rituals in the nude?,
26. Are Witches kinky?,
27. Is Witchcraft irrational?,
Part Four: What Do Witches Believe?,
28. Why do Witches place so much emphasis on the Goddess?,
29. Why do Witches place so much emphasis on nature?,
30. Why is mythology so important to Witches?,
31. Are Witches polytheists?,
32. Are Witches pantheists or animists?,
33. Why do Witches call the God "the Horned One"?,
34. Do Witches have a moral code?,
35. What do Witches believe happens after we die?,
36. Do Witches believe in evil?,
Part Five: What Do Witches Do?,
37. What are the main activities of Witchcraft?,
38. Can a person be a solitary Witch, or must they work in covens?,
39. What is initiation? What is the difference between the three degrees?,
40. Do Witches worship the moon?,
41. Why is Halloween so important to Witches?,
42. What other days qualify as Wiccan holy days?,
43. Why do Witches like to burn candles and incense and use essential oils?,
44. What is an altar? Why is it important?,
45. What is a circle?,
Part Six: Magic and the Occult,
46. Is Witchcraft part of the occult? What is the occult?,
47. Are Witches psychic?,
48. What is magic, and why do Witches do it?,
49. What do Witches mean when they talk about "energy"?,
50. What is a Cone of Power? What is it used for?,
51. If a Witch has magic power, what's to prevent him or her from using it for bad purposes?,
52. If Witches are such powerful magicians, why haven't they all won the lottery?,
53. Do Witches believe in astrology or Tarot?,
54. Do Witches believe in spirits, such as angels or fairies?,
Part Seven: Witchcraft, Christianity, and Other Religions,
55. Witches call their religion "the old religion," implying that Wicca is one of, if not the, oldest religions on Earth. Is this true?,
56. What are the differences between Witchcraft and Satanism?,
57. What do Witches think about Christianity?,
58. Do Witches believe in Jesus? The Buddha? Etc.?,
59. What do Witches think about the Bible? Do they have their own Bible?,
60. Can a person practice Christianity and Witchcraft or Witchcraft and any other religion?,
61. Do Witches try to convert other people?,
62. My church teaches me that Witchcraft is wrong. Shouldn't I try to witness to Witches, in order to get them to repent?,
63. How can I tell if Witchcraft might be the right spiritual path for me?,
Part Eight: The Role of Paganism in Society,
64. Is Witchcraft legitimate?,
65. How many Witches are there today?,
66. Do Witches suffer from discrimination in our time?,
67. What rights do Witches have at work? At school?,
68. What do Witches believe about abortion? The death penalty? Gun control? Gay rights?,
69. What does the U.S. Military think about Witchcraft?,
70. What social and political issues are important to most Witches?,
71. Can gay and lesbian people be Witches?,
72. Can a teenager become a Witch?,
Part nine: Practical Considerations,
73. I'm a parent of a teenager interested in Witchcraft. Is there anything I should be worried about?,
74. Can a person become a Witch just from reading a book?,
75. What will the neighbors think? What do I tell people when someone I love is Wiccan?,
76. Is there anything I should know about the etiquette of Witchcraft?,
77. What do I need to do in order to get along well with the Witch in my life?,
78. What should I avoid saying or doing when relating to the Witch in my life?,
79. What are some good Wiccan books for teenagers?,
80. What are some good Wiccan books for adults?,
81. What are some good Wiccan Websites?,
Conclusion,
Index,
About the Author,