When I Am An Old Coot: Witticisms For People Who Refuse to Grow Old Gracefully

by Roy English

Overview

When I am an Old Coot, I will wear funny hats and loud ties, flowered underwear and bright yellow suspenders. I will break all the silly, proper rules and be a kid again. So begins a mischievous look at growing older and making the most of it. With an irreverent perspective, this absolutely hilarious book contains witticisms like these: When I am an Old Coot: "I will call 'A Current Affair' and ask them how I can order one." "I will dawdle by the cleaning lady, pretend to stumble and grab her buttocks firmly."

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781423613107
Publisher:	Smith, Gibbs Publisher
Publication date:	01/19/2001
Series:	Western Humor
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	144
File size:	719 KB

About the Author

Roy English is the author of When I am an Old Coot. In his former lives, he was a state legislator and a judge. He lives in Texas.

Read an Excerpt

When I am an old coot . . .

I will wear funny hats and loud ties, flowered underwear and bright yellow suspenders. I will break all the silly, proper rules and be a kid again.

I will teach young children the joysof blowing Jell-O on their little friends.

I will pierce my ear and wear a pico perch in case someone wants to go fishing.

I will carry my own trail mix of salted peanuts, Junior Mints, candy corn and Rolaids.