BookLife Reviews
09/28/2020
With a warm, empathetic tone, home care consultant Blight guides readers down the often-rocky path of caring for a disabled, aging, or dying relative or friend—a road he walked personally after his mother-in-law was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Blight and his wife, Jessica, cared for Jessica’s ailing mother until her death, and then Blight founded his own home care business. In 18 concise chapters, Blight describes how caregiving can gradually take over someone’s life, and he pulls no punches about the increasing emotional turmoil of each increase in responsibility. He views this process as having two possible, equally legitimate outcomes: turning over care to professional caregivers, or “internally resolv the role identity conflict” that occurs when caregiving occupies the central place in one’s life that used to go to being a spouse, parent, or professional.
Blight wisely takes into account a wide range of family dynamics, including caring for an estranged parent. He also discusses the safety of long-term care facilities in the Covid-19 era. Blight discusses how to balance work, siblings, spouses, and more, and he doesn’t shy away from the uncomfortable issues. In fact, he facilitates such discussions by ending each chapter with open-ended questions. Throughout the book, he counsels readers to explore options and make their own decision.
Blight knows from experience that caregiving often feels overwhelming, and he’s careful to support, encourage, and empower fellow travelers. His repeated reassurance that it’s absolutely fine to hire caregivers or place a loved one in a care facility will soothe those who have been criticized for considering those options. He also points out that being supportively present at the end of another person’s life can bring profound gifts of learning and enlightenment. This outstanding guide will be a lifesaver for anyone saddled with these immense responsibilities and seeking peace of mind.
Takeaway: Members of the “sandwich generation” and others serving as caregivers for loved ones will benefit greatly from this empathetic and informative guide.
Great for fans of Jane Gross’s A Bittersweet Season, Alexis Abramson’s The Caregiver's Survival Handbook, Linda Abbit’s The Conscious Caregiver.
Production grades Cover: A Design and typography: A Illustrations: - Editing: A Marketing copy: A
From the Publisher
"Expert Aaron Blight explores the daily realities of caregiving and offers candid, practical advice to help family caregivers cope with their many challenges. . . . This outstanding guide will be a lifesaver for anyone saddled with these immense responsibilities and seeking peace of mind."-BookLife Reviews (Editor's Pick)
"Candid, compassionate, and comforting caregiving advice."-Kirkus Reviews
"This book is an important road map from one who has journeyed as both a family caregiver and a professional caregiver. His guidance can help others have the best chance to survive and maybe even thrive while carrying the burden of caregiving."-Martin J. Schreiber, former Governor of Wisconsin and author of My Two Elaines: Learning, Coping, and Surviving as an Alzheimer's Caregiver
"This easy-to-read book provides family caregivers with valuable insights, guidance, and affirmation that reflect empathy and respect for their role. Dr. Blight's poignant stories will help both family caregivers and the professionals and other family members who support them."-Rhonda J. V. Montgomery, PhD, internationally recognized expert on family caregiving
"No family caregiver should be without this book. In clear and concise chapters, it covers all the topics caregivers need to understand the journey they are on and provides a reference source to be revisited again and again."-Robert Mastrogiovanni, President, Well Spouse Association
Kirkus Reviews
2020-09-24
A debut work directed at caregivers delivers straight talk and a lot of understanding.
About 21% of adults in the United States—as many as 53 million Americans—act as caregivers for aging or disabled loved ones, according to a 2020 research report cited by Blight. This segment of the population performs a service that the author is all too familiar with. He and his wife were caregivers to his mother-in-law in their home for close to two years following brain surgery, after which she lived independently but needed assistance from health aides. The episode led Blight to start his own home care company and eventually become a caregiving consultant. These three experiences—caregiver, owner of a home care service, and consultant— uniquely qualify the author to comprehend the complex, often emotional aspects of providing care for a spouse or aging parent. The book is smartly organized into 18 brief yet highly relevant chapters, each addressing an aspect of caregiving. At the close of every chapter, questions are included for reflection. Rather than attempt to create a manual, the author shares salient observations about caregiving from a very personal perspective. Often, he exposes the changing roles and conflicting emotions associated with caregiving, expressing feelings that may be uncomfortable but are widespread among practitioners. He writes, for example, “When the mother who cared for you becomes dependent upon care by you, the change can be unexpectedly difficult to comprehend and accept.” He references a study by two researchers that helps explain this “role identity conflict,” offering helpful suggestions for how to cope with such a common situation.Blight also deftly discusses the complex dynamic if the caregiver and the receiver have “an imperfect relationship.” In this case, caregivers “need to decide how much they can tolerate and then set boundaries with the care receiver.” Throughout the book, the author brings up thorny, challenging issues and then applies his experience in proposing mechanisms to deal with them. In writing about time management, for example, he acknowledges that caregivers often need to adjust their schedules to meet receivers’ needs. He then suggests six time-management strategies to handle this reality. When he points to “compassion fatigue,” a condition that occurs when caregivers get worn out, he lists 10 “stress-reduction tips” for them to follow. Blight diligently covers many aspects of how caregiving affects both parties, such as the impact on other members of the family, the problems of juggling caregiving and work, the pros and cons of hiring outside assistance, the discomfort surrounding ministering to an aging body, the demands of coping with dementia, and more. Blight writes in a conversational, informal style. He demonstrates a keen understanding of the entire spectrum of caregiving and uses pertinent examples. He continuously reassures the caregiver, especially when he talks about the “rewards” of the role. In this respect, Blight is both educator and cheerleader. His intimate knowledge of caregiving—how it affects the two principals—makes this a valuable resource.
Candid, compassionate, and comforting caregiving advice.
