What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

by Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry

Overview

Notes From Your Bookseller

A simple perspective shift from effect to cause, this book encourages readers to look at the origin of their behaviors, to understand their past, and thus to build a more positive self-image.

Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry, discuss the impact of trauma and adverse experiences and how healing must begin with a shift to asking, “what happened to you?” rather than “what’s wrong with you?”

Through wide-ranging, and often deeply personal conversation, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Perry explore how what happens to us in early childhood – both good and bad - influences the people we become. They challenge us to shift from focusing on, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you behaving that way?,” to asking, “What happened to you?” This simple change in perspective can open up a new and hopeful understanding for millions about why we do the things we do, why we are the way we are, providing a road map for repairing relationships, overcoming what seems insurmountable, and ultimately living better and more fulfilling lives.

Many of us experience adversity and trauma during childhood that has lasting impact on our physical and emotional health. And as we’re beginning to understand, we are more sensitive to developmental trauma as children than we are as adults. ‘What happened to us’ in childhood is a powerful predictor of our risk for physical and mental health problems down the road, and offers scientific insights in to the patterns of behaviors so many struggle to understand.

A survivor of multiple childhood challenges herself, Oprah Winfrey shares portions of her own harrowing experiences because she understands the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma at a young age. Throughout her career, Oprah has teamed up with Dr. Bruce Perry, one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma. He has treated thousands of children, youth, and adults and has been called on for decades to support individuals and communities following high-profile traumatic events. Now, Oprah joins forces with Dr. Perry to marry the power of storytelling with the science and clinical experience to better understand and overcome the effects of trauma.

In conversation throughout the book, the two focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves in the context of personal experiences. They remove blame and self-shaming, and open up a space for healing and understanding. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future - opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

Grounded in the latest brain science and brought to life through compelling narratives, this book shines a light on a much-needed path to recovery – showing us our incredible capacity to transform after adversity.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250223210
Publisher:	Flatiron Books
Publication date:	04/27/2021
Sold by:	Macmillan
Format:	eBook
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	24,599
File size:	40 MB
Note:	This product may take a few minutes to download.

About the Author

Over the course of her esteemed career, Oprah Winfrey has created an unparalleled connection with people around the world. As host and supervising producer of the top-rated, award-winning The Oprah Winfrey Show, she entertained, enlightened, and uplifted millions of viewers for twenty-five years. Her continued accomplishments as a global media leader and philanthropist have established her as one of the most influential and admired public figures in the world today.

Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., a child psychiatrist and neuroscientist, is the principal of the Neurosequential Network, senior fellow of the ChildTrauma Academy and an adjunct professor of psychiatry at the Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. He is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children, and Born for Love, about the essential nature of empathy.

Through the power of media, Oprah Winfrey has created an unparalleled connection with people around the world. As host and supervising producer of the top-rated, award-winning The Oprah Winfrey Show, she entertained, enlightened, and uplifted millions of viewers for twenty-five years. Her accomplishments as a global media leader and philanthropist have established her as one of the most respected and admired public figures today.

Table of Contents

A Note from the Authors 9

Introduction 10

Chapter 1 Making Sense of the World 18

Chapter 2 Seeking Balance 42

Chapter 3 How We Were Loved 68

Chapter 4 The Spectrum of Trauma 94

Chapter 5 Connecting the Dots 120

Chapter 6 From Coping to Healing 152

Chapter 7 Post-Traumatic Wisdom 184

Chapter 8 Our Brains, Our Biases, Our Systems 210

Chapter 9 Relational Hunger In The Modern World 244

Chapter 10 What We Need Now 272

Epilogue 288

Resources 299

Credits And Acknowledgments 302

Editorial Reviews

"Where Hope Lives:

What we experience in childhood shapes us forever—and that is especially true for young victims of trauma. It’s a lesson Oprah learned as a child being raised by an abusive grandmother. She developed 'a keen sense of when trouble was brewing'—when she would be subjected to 'whuppings' at times so brutal, the welts left behind would bleed through her clothing.

As a result of this and other abuse she suffered, Oprah has had a lifelong interest in understanding and overcoming the profound effects of early trauma—and helping others do the same. Now, she’s teamed up with neuroscientist and child trauma expert Bruce Perry, MD, PhD, on this essential book. Revealing, intimate, and educational, it’s a testament to the authors’ wish for readers to come to grips with, and let go of, the past—and to move forward into 'post-traumatic wisdom.'"


—Leigh Haber, O Magazine

From the Publisher

A psychiatrist and veteran researcher on early abuse and loss combines his clinical knowledge with the personal experiences and observations of a well-known survivor of such trauma: Oprah Winfrey. They are both capable, likable narrators who are sincerely engaged with their subject matter. Their informative audio is an easily digestible blend of sections they have written and spontaneous conversations between them. This casual-sounding format is an effective way for overwhelmed survivors to learn about trauma recovery. It combines the psychiatrist’s light touch with sensitive information and facility explaining neurobiology with the comforting sound of Winfrey's voice, one that is familiar and trusted by millions of people. The performances of these two humanitarians make this a must-hear for anyone recovering from their traumatic past. T.W. 2022 Audies Finalist © AudioFile 2021, Portland, Maine

APRIL 2021 - AudioFile

2021-05-17
A collaborative look at brain trauma and methods to alleviate the potentially lifelong effects.

Child psychiatrist and neuroscientist Perry teams with Winfrey to examine traumatic injury caused by an abusive childhood. The book is formatted in a conversational interview format, with Perry sharing his insights on stress, brain biology, and physiological response, offering new approaches to emotional and psychological pain. Using medical models, Winfrey’s personal experience, and Perry’s years of research, the authors demonstrate the brain’s resilience and ability to adapt to traumatic situations, particularly when paired with psychopharmacological remedies, natural interventions, and behavioral treatments. This process of neural recalibration works wonders in instances of deeply embedded trauma and abuse, allowing people to live better lives through newly invigorated self-worth. Winfrey candidly shares difficult memories of a childhood where regular whippings (as early as age 3) were “accepted practice” and there were expectations of silence and a smile in their aftermath. In addition to this early trauma, she recounts her difficult adult relationship with her mother, which culminates in a powerful scene in a nursing home when Winfrey froze at her mother’s bedside, unable to address her. She admits that while collectively these events manifested into her adult relationships and behavior, she eventually processed and embraced the trauma as an opportunity for healing and a way to move forward. With proactive conviction, the authors help readers to recognize their own internalized trauma and encourage the reshaping of personal paths toward wellness and “to excavate the roots that were put down long before we had the words to articulate what was happening to us.” Through therapeutic frameworks and the curative power of community, belonging, human connection, and mindfulness, the authors show how renewal of mind and spirit is attainable. Though many of these issues have been addressed before, Perry and Winfrey’s partnership is notable, and their book is worthy of attention.

A candid guidebook to exorcising mental trauma.

Kirkus Reviews