Table of Contents
Prologue 1
I "I'm Nothing but Your Punching Bag and Slave." Elnom, Indiana 7
II "Get the F_Out of the Middle of the F_ing Road, You F_ing Stupid C_!" Cynthiana, Indiana 29
III "I'd Kill Him!" Anita, Indiana 47
IV "She's … Uh, Having Boy Problems Right Now." Bonnie, Illinois 67
V "I've Showed It to a Lot of People, but Nobody Can Tell Me What It Is." Ina, Illinois 79
VI "I'm Reporting You to the Queen Committee!" Jennette, Arkansas; Blytheville, Arkansas; Pocahontas, Missouri 95
VII "He Will Actually Put His Head Down So Molly and Sally Can Pee on His Face." Mananna, Arkansas; Eudora, Arkansas 127
VIII "I'm Gonna Run for Mayor!" Tallulah, Louisiana; Pearl, Mississippi; Verona, Mississippi 159
IX "Opportunity Is a Beautiful Woman. You Have to Grab Her." Florence, Alabama; Bonnieville, Kentucky 187
X "Just Cuz You Have Boobs Doesn't Mean You're Not Strong!" Elizabethtown, Kentucky; Marysville, Ohio; Elyria, Ohio; Seneca Falls, New York 219
XI "Go Try This On." Angelica, New York 235
XII "Let's Do It!" Eden, Vermont 251
Epilogue 265
Author's Note 269
Acknowledgments 271