What Could He Be Thinking?: How a Man's Mind Really Works

by Michael Gurian

Overview

Having studied how boys and girls develop differently, Michael Gurian turns his attention to adult men in this entertaining, informative, and groundbreaking book on the male brain. Following two decades of neurobiological research, What Could He Be Thinking? answers the questions women and the world are asking about husbands, fathers, boyfriends, and coworkers. Mixing neurobiology with Gurian's very readable style, anecdotes from everyday life, and a new vision of the male psyche, the book will satisfy the tremendous curiosity women and our culture have about the roots of male behavior.

Women know intuitively that men are different from them. What women are now just coming to realize is that the men they are married to, having sex with, working with, parenting with, and trying to fathom, act and think in very male ways, not only because they are socialized to do so, but because they are built to—neurobiologically.

The new field of brain science has revealed wonderful secrets about a man's mind. In this book, women who are eager to understand the men in their lives can discover the new brain science in an entertaining way, as they get answers to the prime question every woman asks at some time in her life: What could he be thinking?

The book provides fascinating information about the male brain, male habits, male tendencies, and the nuances of men's actions and thoughts. It is a provacative, exciting vision into the minds of men.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780312311490
Publisher:	St. Martin's Press
Publication date:	08/18/2004
Edition description:	First Edition
Pages:	304
Product dimensions:	8.20(w) x 5.46(h) x 0.72(d)

About the Author

Michael Gurian has published eighteen books in seven disciplines. A pioneering social philosopher, he has authored four national bestsellers, translated into fourteen languages, including the groundbreaking The Wonder of Boys, A Fine Young Man, and The Wonder of Girls. He is cofounder of the Gurian Institute, which conducts research and trains internationally in male/female brain difference. He is also a novelist. He lives in Spokane, Washington, with his wife Gail, and their two daughters.

Table of Contents

	Acknowledgments	xi
	Introduction: What Could He Be Thinking?	xiii
	The Science of Manhood	xvii
	The Nature of a Man	xx
	A Note of Gratitude	xxiii
Part I	The Male Brain
1.	What's in His Head: A Friendly Look at the Male Brain	3
	Can We Really Know What He's Thinking?	5
	A Friendly Look at the Male Brain	6
	Avoiding Stereotypes	9
	How Do We Recognize a Male Brain?	9
	The Male-Brain Questionnaire	21
	Bridge Brains	25
	The Theory of Intimate Separateness	28
	The Power of Natural Identity in Our Relationships	31
2.	How Nature Answers the Question, What Is a Man?	33
	The Despair of Men and the Core of Manhood	35
	The Biology of Male Identity	37
	Men Seek a Calling	45
	The Making of a Man, from the Inside Out	53
	Male Identity and Character Development	55
	Bringing It All Together: Men Are on a Quest	61
	The Future of the Male Quest: The Future of Testosterone	65
	Bridge Brains: Exceptions to the Rule	67
	Practicing Intimate Separateness	69
Part II	What Could he Really be Thinking?
3.	What Could He Really Be Thinking ... About Feelings and Emotions	75
	The Biology of Male Emotion	80
	The Male Mode of Feeling	85
	A Bottom Line: Women Trust Feelings More Than Men	94
	Bridge Brains: Exceptions to the Rule	99
	Practicing Intimate Separateness: Finding Power in the Nature of Emotional Life	100
4.	What Could He Really Be Thinking ... About Sex and Romance?	105
	The Biology of Sex and Romance	107
	How Romantic Idealization Can Make or Break Lovers' Hearts	119
	What Are Reasonable Romantic Expectations of One Another?	123
	Bridge Brains	129
	Practicing Intimate Separateness	130
	Turning Romance into Commitment and Marriage	136
Part III	What Could He Really Be Thinking ... About Marriage and Commitment?
5.	I Think I Love You: Men and the Biology of Commitment	141
	The Biology of Commitment	147
	How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Can Affect Him	151
	Are Men the Only Ones Who Fear Commitment?	161
	Bridge Brains	163
	Practicing Intimate Separateness	164
6.	I Know I Love You: Men and the Biology of Marriage	173
	The Human Divorce	176
	The Biology of Marriage	179
	A Map for Marriage	189
	She Says: "I Feel Fat." What Should He Do?	190
	We Are Too Close. Can We Come to Terms with It?	196
	Bridge Brains	198
	Practicing Intimate Separateness: Turning Marriages Around	199
	A Natural Optimism	214
Part IV	What Could He Really Be Thinking ... About Home and Children?
7.	The Male Brain at Home: Men and Women Living Together	217
	The Biology of the Home	219
	Why Can't He See That the House Is a Mess?	219
	Why Can't He Load the Dishwasher the Right Way?	221
	Would It Kill Him to Put His Laundry Away?	223
	What Is It with Men and Their Cars?	225
	What About That Remote Control?	228
	Why Do Men Love to Tinker Around with Gadgets and Electronics?	230
	Doesn't He Realize That God Is in the Details?	233
	Bridge-Brain Men at Home	235
	Practicing Intimate Separateness in Home Life	238
8.	What a Father Knows: The Nature of Being a Dad	243
	The Biology of Fathering	245
	Don't Worry, Honey, the Kids'll Be Fine	246
	Don't You Even Care How the Kids Feel?	251
	Divorced from the Mother, but Still a Father	254
	The Biological Role of the Father	256
	Bridge-Brain Fathers	260
	The Practice of Intimate Separateness	263
	The Best Father	266
	Epilogue	267
	Notes	269
	About the Author	277

Editorial Reviews

Gurian's research is both fascinating and eye-opening.” —Plain Dealer, Cleveland, OH

“I cannot recommend [this book] highly enough.” —Dave Barry, author of The Book of Guys

“[Gurian] leads the nonscientist to some of the most frustrating sources of conflict between men and women in long-term relationships.” —Reuters

From the Publisher

Gurian's book explores the fascinating science of the difference in male and female brains and how differences dictate behavior. His hope is that, by illuminating the construction of each gender's amygdala, cingulate gyrus, hippocampus, et al., not to mention the action of our hormones, we can better negotiate the battle of the sexes.—Lily Burana

The Washington Post

While plenty of books offer to help us understand the opposite sex from a psychological perspective, this one tackles the topic from a neurological one. Family therapist Gurian (The Wonder of Boys) takes readers on a voyage through the male brain, offering "nature-based" explanations-that is, well-established biological tenets-for how men think and act differently from women (e.g., why they love to tinker with gadgets and why they remember fewer details about an event). In the process, readers discover almost as much about women and how their brains function. Gurian's writing style falls somewhere between academic and self-help. As a result, some people will find the book too light, while others may find it too challenging. Nonetheless, it is recommended for all public libraries because of Gurian's name and because it bridges the areas of self-help and biology as few books do. Simon Baron-Cohen's recent The Essential Difference: The Truth About the Male and Female Brain could be construed as such, but it's more of a science book summarizing recent neurological findings.-David Leonhardt, Chesterville, Ont. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

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