What About the Kids?: Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce

What About the Kids?: Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce

by Sandra Blakeslee
What About the Kids?: Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce

What About the Kids?: Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce

by Sandra Blakeslee

Paperback(Reprint)

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Overview

The groundbreaking handbook that helps parents guide their children through divorce and co-parenting — including the introduction of step-parents — from a New York Times bestselling author and child psychologist.

This is the definitive work from the renowned child psychologist Judith Wallerstein on a subject that concerns millions of American moms and dads: How can you protect your children during and after divorce?

Divorce is not a single event but a lifelong trajectory of changed circumstances that demand a different kind of parenting than we have ever known. In What About the Kids? Wallerstein draws on thirty years of in-depth interviews with children of divorce and their parents to show how to create a new family with compassion and wisdom. It covers issues that arise at the time of divorce as well as suggestions for talking to your children months and years after the event.

Eminent psychologist Judith S. Wallerstein shares her unique insight and advice in What About the Kids? — the first comprehensive guide to easing the impact of divorce on your children — including:

  • The best and worst ages for children to experience their parents' divorce
  • Right and wrong ways to explain divorce to your children
  • Choosing a custody arrangement that's best for your child
  • How to involve the grandparents — a major resource?
  • Getting the children on your side when you form new relationships
  • The positive effects of divorce on children (believe it or not)
  • How divorce can actually make you a better parent
  • Raising children who grow up able to form lasting relationships

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780786887514
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 03/17/2004
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 400
Sales rank: 693,414
Product dimensions: 5.35(w) x 8.05(h) x 1.55(d)
Age Range: 1 - 18 Years

About the Author

Judith S. Wallerstein is the founder and executive director of the Center for the Family in Transition. She is senior lecturer emerita at the School of Social Welfare at the University of California at Berkeley, where she has taught for twenty-six years. She has spoken with more divorced families than anyone in the nation, and lectured to thousands of family court judges, attorneys, mental health professionals, mediators, and educators. She has appeared on Oprah, the Today show, and Good Morning America, among others. She is the author, with Sandra Blakeslee, of the national bestsellers The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts and Second Chances: Men, Women, and Children a Decade After Divorce; with Blakeslee and Julia M. Lewis of the bestseller The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study; and, with Dr. Joan Berlin Kelly, of Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce. She lives in Belvedere, California.

Sandra Blakeslee is an award-winning science writer who contributes regularly to the New York Times. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Table of Contents

IntroductionXI
Part 1The Breakup1
Chapter 1Take Care of Yourself3
Chapter 2Telling the Children19
Chapter 3The Developmental Ladder31
Chapter 4Zero to Three43
Chapter 5Three-, Four-, and Five-Year-Olds51
Chapter 6Six-, Seven-, and Eight-Year-Olds63
Chapter 7Nine- and Ten-Year-Olds73
Chapter 8Eleven-, Twelve-, and Thirteen-Year-Olds87
Chapter 9Fourteen-, Fifteen-, Sixteen-, and Seventeen-Year-Olds99
Chapter 10College-Age Children113
Chapter 11Vulnerable Children121
Chapter 12What Is the "Best" Time to Divorce?127
Chapter 13Setting Routines and Structure133
Chapter 14Supporting the New Family141
Part 2Parent-to-Parent155
Chapter 15A New Kind of Parent157
Chapter 16You and the Law163
Chapter 17Laying the Foundation for Custody and Coparenting175
Chapter 18Custody185
Chapter 19High-Conflict Divorce203
Chapter 20How to Choose the Right Custody for Your Child215
Part 3The Post-Divorce Family221
Chapter 21Take Another Close Look at Your Children and at Yourself223
Chapter 22The Overburdened Child231
Chapter 23Parent-Child Alignments239
Chapter 24A New Kind of Teenager247
Chapter 25A New Kind of Father259
Chapter 26A New Kind of Mother269
Part 4Second Marriage275
Chapter 27Dating and Sex277
Chapter 28Remarriage289
Chapter 29Insiders and the Remarried Family299
Chapter 30Stepparents311
Chapter 31Blending Two Families323
Chapter 32Holidays and Special Occasions333
Part 5Conversations for a Lifetime339
Chapter 33How to Protect Children of Divorce in Young Adulthood341
Epilogue363
Index365
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