We're the Weird Aliens

by Mara Lynn Johnstone, Jules Blymoor, Lauren Glover, Jennifer Lee Rossman, S. Park

Overview

In science fiction, humans are usually boring compared to other spacefaring races: small, weak, with no claws or tentacles, and no special abilities to speak of.  If we're lucky, humans have an indomitable spirit when the chips are down.  Not much more than that. 

But what if they weren't? What if humans were the ones who all the other aliens talked about, in tones of appreciation, fear, or utter confusion? What if humans weren't the boring ones, but the weirdest things among the stars?

28 authors explore some of the many ways that we can be the talk of the cosmos.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781098331467
Publisher:	BookBaby
Publication date:	12/18/2020
Pages:	324
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Mara Lynn Johnstone grew up in a house on a hill, of which the top floor was built first. She split her time between climbing trees, drawing fantastical things, reading books, and writing her own. There may have been an imaginary friend or ten. She went on to gain a Master's Degree in creative writing, a husband, a son, and three laptop-loving cats. She enjoys writing, drawing, and spending hours discussing made-up things. She can be found on social media and at MaraLynnJohnstone.com.Jules Blymoor (they/them) is a writer, tailor, leftist agitator, and student of psychology at the University of British Columbia. They'd love to talk to you about D&D, vinegar, socialism, and storytelling as an expression of love! Jules can be found at @softlysuited on Tumblr, for writing or questions.Lauren Glover is an archaeologist who enjoys writing in her spare time. Having travelled around the world excavating and doing research, she has plenty of experience in investigating how weird humans are through what they leave behind.Jennifer Lee Rossman is a queer and disabled nerd who has never been accused of having an overabundance of diplomacy. She is the author of over 40 short stories and two books. Some of them are even good. Read more of her work on her website http://jenniferleerossman.blogspot.com and follow her on Twitter @JenLRossman.S.Park (yes, you can just pronounce that "spark") is a queer, genderqueer and transhumanist author who's been writing since the age of six.  Said writing ranges across at least half a dozen genres and all over several different universes, covering everything from the silly to the erotic.  Home life involves a toddler, two cats, and a very nice partner, so writing isn't a full time job, but it's still very rewarding, and S.Park won't stop until the ideas dry up, which probably means never.Maree Brittenford is an Australian who now lives in the alien environment of California with two cats (who occasionally choose to associate with her), and also her husband and children. In addition to writing, she enjoys frequently rebuilding sections of her house.Harrison Salzman aimed for a career in Vancian magic and landed in software analysis. They have started approximately ten thousand stories and finished nearly six of them. Currently, they live in New York with thirteen definitely imaginary cats and one probably real husband.M. L. Winslett has been writing since they could write letters from the alphabet. Their writing aims to bring happiness and spark the imagination of the reader. This writer greatly enjoys food, tea, and the company of cats, until they act like cats. If you have cats, you understand.Jay Mendell is (allegedly) human and definitely alive, largely because of a terrible curse that forces them to write constantly or their normal human body will fail them. You can find them in the catacombs with a new story that you just have to check out, or on Twitter (@ijaymendell).Jane Colon-Bonet has always thought that there is little else more human than cooking. They are very fond of baking, and believe that writing stories is very much the same activity. Language cooked up in a variety of scrumptious ways to be shared with the people we love and strangers alike.Thaís Polegato de Sousa is a writer, translator and pop culture aficionado. Yes, the last one goes with the professional occupations too, as she might as well be getting paid for it, with the level of energy poured there. Not that she is. But humans have done weirder things.Liz A. Vogel is a writer of science fiction, fantasy, espionage, mystery, and anything else that'll hold still long enough. She's also chair and co-founder of Narrativity: A Convention for Story (www.narrativity.fun). She loves the idea of this anthology, because she's always thought humans were weird.E. A. Greene is a writer and avid notebook collector living in North Carolina with her mother, her cat, and an excessive number of chimney swifts. She spends her free time rolling dice with her gaming group, weight-lifting, and finding new ways to entertain the cat.K.B. Elijah writes for various international anthologies, and her work features in dozens of collections about the mysterious, the magical and the macabre. Her own books of short fantasy novellas with twists, The Empty Sky and Out of the Nowhere, are available on paperback and Kindle now. www.kbelijah.comJanna Kaiser might not be able to escape the tiny blue dot she has inhabited all her life, at least not bodily. But in her mind she is free to explore what might be out there, hoping you enjoyed the brief journey she took you on. She's happy to be human – and to be able to wonder if we really are the weird ones.Chris Bannor is a speculative fiction writer who lives in Southern California. Chris learned her love of genre stories from her mother at an early age and has never veered far from that path. You can follow Chris on Facebook @chrisbannorauthor.K. Winter Walker-van Aalst: If not found in a library, check the mountains, their balcony garden, and wherever their kitten is playing. Winter's inventory includes glasses, dice, knitting needles, a pride flag, and probably a few bones or insects. They study biology at UC Berkeley, but their interests range from language to physics.Garrett Gantt, as you might have guessed, is a writer and a poet, with a particular fondness for science fiction and fantasy stories. He's currently working on obtaining his Bachelor's in Nursing while pursuing his lifelong dream of becoming a novelist. He will continue on this path until July 14, 2071, when he will disappear under mysterious circumstances following a last reported sighting in Newport, Oregon. Until then, he can be found on social media on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.annie nguyen is a traveling martial artist (and advanced roomba) who spends her time exploring the people and places of this world and those beyond imagination. From Texas to Australia to Japan to Pennsylvania, she continues to build her map of this life. After all, there is wonder in wandering.Elizabeth A. Allen lives in Vermont. She has edited four local history books and published one, Mary's Diary. Her book reviews have appeared in Out in the Mountains, Curve Magazine, and Tangent Online, among others. Her fiction has been anthologized in Unbound, Master Works, Painting It Black, and Gender Who? Olivia Gordon, Trekkie and knee sock enthusiast, has been a ghost for three years and a writer for much longer. Some of her favorite things include reading, music, and sloths. She plans to write stories for the rest of her life.Diana van der Schouw, online known as TimeglitchD, is a Dutch artist and author currently studying IT in college. She likes to explore topics such as AI and extraterrestrial life, but also has a never-ending love for dogs which may or may not be obvious in most of her work.Kit Harding is herself an alien (or perhaps an enchantress?), happy to be embarking on her writing career. You can find her discussing writing, gaming, and fandom culture at writerkit.dreamwidth.org.Charles D. Perry lives in Texas as a part time page and part time game programmer. He is currently locked in a never-ending battle with his arch-nemesis Boredom.Maggie Maxwell has been writing stories that make physicists roll in their graves since 1994. She currently lives in Durham, NC with her husband, the ghosts of all the plants she's killed, and a large number of overworked and underpaid bookshelves.Manuel Royal, like Tristram Shandy, was born with a broken nose. He will die. In between, he lives and writes in Atlanta, Georgia.Dara Brophy (aka yousureimnotarobot) trained as a sculptor, ended up as a teacher. He has a house full of teenagers under quarantine. His work is on Royal Road and HFY/Reddit, including the other forty-odd stories in the Human Altered universe. He gives thanks to all the engineers and military that have advised him, even if they advised him to stop.Bill Rogers was born in Michigan shortly after the last ice age, and in all the years since hasn't quite managed to get out. He works in environmental protection. He writes for fun occasionally, mostly SF and fantasy; it saves on needing to remember the details of real history. Under no conditions let him read you his poetry.

Table of Contents

The Many Ways of Being Weird ix

The Machine Jules Blymoor 1

Bite Back Lauren Glover 15

Episode 51: Earth Jennifer Lee Rossman 22

Saber-Toothed Licker S.Park 32

Friends Of Cats Maree Brittenford 37

Five Rounds Rapid Harrison Salzman 53

Human Observation Log M. L. Winslett 60

Flying Blind Jay Mendell 68

Bruisable Jane Colon-Bonet 80

Planet Kartoshka Thaís Polegato de Sousa 96

To Study War No More S.Park 105

Hands On Liz A. Vogel 118

Care and Cuddling E.A. Greene 131

The Room K. B. Elijah 137

No, You Move Janna Kaiser 153

Any Other Way Chris Banner 164

Object's Dialogue or Myriad Words Overheard on a Spaceship K. Winter Walker-van Aalst 170

Negotiations Garrett Gantt 184

The Baths annie nguyen 198

The Specimen Elizabeth A. Allen 205

Sunburn Olivia Gordon 212

The Cold Diana van der Schouw 218

Variations Kit Harding 226

Can You Tell Me…? Charles D. Perry 241

Ikyur Maggie Maxwell 249

FTL'd Manuel Royal 254

Human Altered Dara Brophy 264

Mimicry for Fun and Profit Mara Lynn Johnstone 273

The Language of Emotion Bill Rogers 283

About the Authors 307

About the Editor 313