We all know how this ends: Lessons about life and living from working with death and dying

We all know how this ends: Lessons about life and living from working with death and dying

We all know how this ends: Lessons about life and living from working with death and dying

We all know how this ends: Lessons about life and living from working with death and dying

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Overview

'Wonderful, thoughtful, practical' - Cariad Lloyd, Griefcast

'Encouraging and inspiring' - Dr Kathryn Mannix, author of Amazon bestseller With the End in Mind

End-of-life doula Anna Lyons and funeral director Louise Winter have joined forces to share a collection of the heartbreaking, surprising and uplifting stories of the ordinary and extraordinary lives they encounter every single day.

From working with the living, the dying, the dead and the grieving, Anna and Louise reveal the lessons they've learned about life, death, love and loss. Together they've created a profound but practical guide to rethinking the one thing that's guaranteed to happen to us all. We are all going to die, and that's ok. Let's talk about it.

This is a book about life and living, as much as it's a book about death and dying. It's a reflection on the beauties, blessings and tragedies of life, the exquisite agony and ecstasy of being alive, and the fragility of everything we hold dear. It's as simple and as complicated as that.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781399402880
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
Publication date: 01/03/2023
Pages: 304
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 9.10(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Louise Winter is a progressive funeral director. Together with Anna Lyons, an end-of-life doula, she is behind the book We All Know How This Ends, and the Life. Death. Whatever, initiative, a new approach to death and dying. Their joint mission is to redesign the dialogue around death and dying, to open it up and to find new approaches to this important subject. They believe that death is a normal part of life and dying is part of living. Acknowledging and accepting that one day we will die is fundamental to living a full life.

Anna Lyons is an end-of-life doula. Together with Louise Winter, a progressive funeral director, she is behind the book We All Know How This Ends, and the Life. Death. Whatever, initiative, a new approach to death and dying. Their joint mission is to redesign the dialogue around death and dying, to open it up and to find new approaches to this important subject. They believe that death is a normal part of life and dying is part of living. Acknowledging and accepting that one day we will die is fundamental to living a full life.

Table of Contents

Introduction 7

This book begins at the end 7

We really need to talk about death and dying 13

Why we really don't want to talk about it 17

The Life. Death. Whatever, manifesto 18

What is Five Things? 20

What is Unsaid? 21

Death & dying 22

Can doulas be part of the future of end-of-life care? 23

Why I became an end-of-life doula 27

How to become an end-of-life doula 32

What does a good doula look like? 34

From doula to patient and back again 35

When you're first diagnosed 42

Debunking the myths of palliative care and hospices 52

Getting the most from your consultations with your doctor and specialist 56

Sex and intimacy are still just as important when you're unwell 59

Dying doesn't look like it does in the movies 60

How to be there for someone when they are dying 66

Preparing for death: doing your death admin 69

Making funeral arrangements in advance 73

Different places to die 74

COVID-19: A pandemic in our lifetime 82

'Out of order' death 85

Baby Amy 88

The toll illness can take on relationships 93

Assisted dying 98

A matter of life and death 99

The undeniable beauty in the impermanence of life 105

Funerals 106

Why I became a funeral director 107

Not all funeral directors are the same 119

How to choose a funeral director 123

DIY funerals 126

Seeing the person who has died can be a profound and meaningful experience 129

What really happens after someone has died? 131

Why would I want to see someone after they've died? 136

Allowing children to do what is right for them 140

Why funerals really matter 144

How to have a good funeral 146

Funerals & COVID-19 167

Planning your own funeral 171

Ask a funeral director anything 178

A truly poetic ending 182

Grief 183

What is grief? 186

Your life after their death - the things we want you to know about grief 189

Growing around grief 197

Grief SOS 203

How to support a grieving friend 207

What to say when you don't know what to say 214

When a partner dies 216

Grief lasts a lifetime 225

We need to talk 226

How to talk about death and dying 228

How to talk to children about death, dying and grief 234

All that's let Unsaid 247

Words left unspoken 247

Life & living 254

Regret 256

This could be the last time 261

The essentials of self-care 266

Kintsugi: emotional damage and repair 271

Everything we've learned about life and living from working with death and dying 274

Get involved with Life. Death. Whatever. 286

The dictionary of death & dying 287

Resources & recommended reading 292

Acknowledgements 298

Index 300

About the authors 304

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