Warrior Goddess Training taught women in ten lessons how to recommit to themselves, assess where they are, harness their strength and creativity within, and gain clarity on where they want to go. They're big steps to take, with big consequences, and the Warrior Goddess Training Companion Workbook supports women on their journey with deeper discussions of each lesson plus supplemental exercises and stories.
This is a great supplement to Warrior Goddess Training.
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Warrior Goddess Training
By HeatherAsh Amara, Kevin Flores
Hierophant PublishingCopyright © 2015 HeatherAsh Amara
All rights reserved.
Commit to You
Warrior Goddess Training
Most women know all about commitment. We commit to hiding or exaggerating our flaws, trying to make others happy or comfortable at the expense of our happiness and comfort, supporting other people's dreams at the expense of our own dreams, and/or criticizing ourselves (and others) at every turn. We commit to who we think we should be rather than committing to meeting ourselves where we are. We commit to seeing ourselves through other people's eyes, gauging our self-worth based on their acceptance, rather than witnessing our unique inner beauty and strength. We commit to being nice rather than being real, or we commit to being right rather than being vulnerable ...
In Warrior Goddess lesson number one, Commit to You, we begin to close the gap between self-rejection and true acceptance; thinking and being; wishing and becoming.
Your commitment to this idea is the activation of your Warrior Goddess power. When your words, thoughts, and actions foster self-abuse and self-judgment, you are using your immense power against yourself.
Committing to your true, authentic, Warrior Goddess self is the beginning of a lifelong journey of living in authenticity.
You are precious, and you are enough. Exactly as you are.
But, like most women, you likely carry old seeds of fear about not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, small enough, or big enough. When these not-good-enough seeds get watered by your own self-judgment and self-limiting behaviors and by the actions of others, they grow into thorny weeds that block out the sun of truth: There is nothing you need to do to be acceptable and loveable; you already are acceptable and loveable.
The idea of accepting and loving yourself 100 percent is much easier than the practice of actually doing it. These old ideas of not being enough are deeply ingrained. Remember, committing to yourself is a layered process, and the purpose of it is to say yes to all of you — the parts you love and the parts you don't.
The magic happens when you let go of who you wish you were, because in doing so you free up that wasted energy and begin to reclaim your true power. This surrendering of what is not allows you to be radiantly, magnetically, and creatively who you really are.
The following exercises are designed to help you do just that.
As with all the exercises in this book, there is no one way to do them. Take the time to complete all three exercises, or pick one, complete it, and then move to another lesson. (You don't have to go in order!) Make this workbook work for you.
1.1 Mirror Gazing
I first introduced this practice during a Warrior Goddess Boot-camp. Some women said that it was one of the hardest things they had ever done, but also one of the most rewarding.
We look in the mirror every day, but few of us actually see ourselves. Instead, we see who we are not, the woman we think we are supposed to be, and we are immediately drawn to the areas where we feel we've fallen short. Consciously looking in the mirror is an act of seeing yourself from your heart instead of through the smoky layers of your own idealization and judgment about who you think you should be. Today, let go of the many ideas you have adopted over the years about what constitutes "beautiful," and just look at the beautiful being who is before you. Practice your seeing without story. Also witness what the stories are. Are they true, or are they social constructs? In many cases, these stories need to be rewritten!
For example, when I did this practice, I noticed that I was judging my forehead. I'd never even thought about my forehead until I was in a photo shoot a few years back and someone kept saying, "relax your forehead!" And then I started noticing all the pictures of women with super smooth foreheads, and all the ads about using Botox to get rid of those "unsightly" forehead lines. Soon I became hyperaware of the deep creases in my forehead. Where before they were part of my character, they suddenly became a flaw.
Luckily, I caught myself pretty quickly and was able to stop and just look in the mirror. Yes, I have lines on my forehead. But who decided it was not okay to have lines? Who decided they were "unsightly"? Not me. That is truly a random decision on some invisible fashion person's part! It is the same as someone deciding that having dark skin is good or bad depending on the context.
To change my inner criticism, I started saying what I saw: "I have lines on my forehead." Then I let go of whether this observation was good or bad. I listened to the stories I was telling myself: "I shouldn't have lines, lines are wrinkles, and wrinkles are bad. I really should do something about my forehead wrinkles ..." (Isn't it interesting how the word "wrinkles" has a negative implication in this context?)
Once I witnessed the negative voices, I could make new choices in how I wanted to relate to my particular unique brand of forehead. I started looking at my whole face instead of zooming in on the one area that I had mistakenly set up to fail by comparing it to pictures of twenty-five-year-old women with creaseless brows. I also set out to appreciate forehead lines of the women I interacted with. Now, when I look into the mirror and see my face, exactly the way it is, I smile. I am committed to being with me, and my forehead, rather than with a fantasy.
Gaze in the mirror for a few minutes every day, noticing the dialogue of your inner judge, while doing your best to not believe it. Instead, let it dissolve in the light of your unique perfection. Take in the full image of your self as it is reflected back to you. Your precious face is a testimony to all of your experiences and all of your wisdom. Look into your own eyes and commit to accepting the gifts, wisdom, and experiences of the one staring back at you.
Do this practice for ten days, noticing your judgments and exploring their fallacy. The first five days of gazing at yourself in the mirror may be rough, as this is when the judge often speaks the loudest, but it will get easier as you keep at it, and the gift of loving yourself exactly as you are is the reward.
In the space below or in your notebook, write about what arises within you or what you notice about yourself as you do this exercise. What features do you judge on the first few days of doing this practice? Can you love those features for being a part of you?
1.2 The Definition of True Power
From Warrior Goddess Training:
When you watch television or read magazines, what is most reflected in pictures and words is this: Power is defined by how you look, how much money you make, who you are dating/married to, and how you are progressing on your career track.
From a framework of fear and scarcity, powerful people are the ones who have, in one way or another, acquired the most sought after or "best" external resources available, be that money, fame, or beauty.
Many of us have spent years tied to this old model of power, where we rate our worth on how we are perceived or what we have attained ...
From a Warrior Goddess point of view, power is defined very differently. Power is not sought after from the outside, but rather is patiently cultivated from within. Power has nothing to do with money, or fame, or outside appearances, but with our connection to self, love, authenticity, and the inner mystery of life. From the perspective of true abundance and immanent spiritual connection, powerful people are the ones who have the strongest connection to their internal resources.
Our challenge, then, is to be honest with the places we are still pursuing the old modes of power, and move ourselves toward attuning with a new power: our own. This will not be done all at once, but over time as we unhook ourselves from old patterns and agreements, consciously reconnecting to our authentic center."
The following exercise is a modified version of one that appears in Warrior Goddess Training, with lines so you can write down the answers. Even if you have done the original exercise, do it again here to learn what has shifted, paying particular attention to the new questions.
What does true power mean to you? (Try to write down your thoughts without internal editing. I encourage you to keep your hand moving!)
True power is:
Next, write down, without judgment, where you give your true power away, exchanging it for the old ideas of power. Be careful, the goal here is not more self-judgment. Instead, simply notice where and when you fall into the old behaviors. In so doing, you have an opportunity to choose again the next time the situation arises.
1.3 Move from Old to New
Please write your answers in the space provided or in your notebook.
1. Where are you still hooked to old reflections of power? When have you put too much energy into showing others and yourself how much money you have, who you know, or what your job or other external activities are? In what ways have you showed off or played the "big shot"? (Name-dropping is an easy example.) This doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't celebrate your successes, but when you do so with the energy of being the "big shot," you don't honor yourself or those around you; instead you are hooked to the old ideas of power.
2. How are your judgments and fears tied to an old power matrix? When have you compared yourself to others? For instance, in what recurring situations do you beat yourself up by thinking you don't "have enough," or aren't "pretty enough" or "good enough?" Do you ever catch yourself thinking you should be more like someone else?
3. One great way to purge yourself of old ways of power is to name them without making yourself or others wrong. Here are some other questions to help you explore this idea further:
Do you find your worth is based on how you look, or is your worth an inner spring based on self-acceptance and respect?
Do you base your value on how well you are taking care of everyone else at the expense of yourself, or do you honor the importance of self-care and loving boundaries?
Does your strength come from how much money you have, how sexy you are, or who you know, or does it flow from your inner peace and resilience?
Remember, there is nothing wrong with celebrating your beauty, your ability to care for others, or your career achievements; but when you confuse those external things with who you really are on the inside, you become a slave to these transient things.
1.4 Name Your Female Role Models
Who are your female role models? Who do you strive to be like? Why do you admire these particular women? Our role models can be teachers, family members, characters in movies or on TV, public women or private women. Role models and mentors are important because they inspire us and give us courage to take risks.
List three female role models and their Warrior Goddess qualities and actions that inspire you, such as presence, courage, passion, honesty, compassion, or clarity.
Honor the women who inspire you for their contributions and wisdom, but recognize that you are not going to be just like them; do not use them against yourself. Be aware of the sneakiness of self-judgment. Remember, you can't be your mentors exactly because the world needs you to be YOU!
Surrender to your own unfolding, in your own time. Let go of using other women's accomplishments and grace to beat yourself up; instead, find inspiration and motivation in the beauty and skill around you. As you name the women who inspire you, write down what Warrior Goddess qualities and actions they embody, such as presence, courage, passion, honesty, compassion, or clarity.
1.5 Discover New Role Models
The world is full of so many fabulous Warrior Goddess women, and they can be a special inspiration to help us move outside our familiar notions of what's possible in life.
I recently discovered a new heroine: Amanda Palmer. As I read her book, The Art of Asking, I found myself falling in love with her crazy wonderfulness and inspired by her expansive creativity. But soon I noticed my inner dialogue was slipping from "Yay, Amanda is a fabulous role model!" to "Too bad you are not like Amanda ..." I had to grab the reins of that runaway horse away from the desert of comparison and turn it back toward the cool waters of inspiration.
Remember your task as you think about your role models: Keep all your thought-horses turned toward the flowing streams of possibility rather than the parched lands of not-enough. Let's use each other as joyful motivation.
For this exercise, I want you to go to the library or do a Google search and find at least three awesome women you didn't know about. If you feel so moved, please share them on our Warrior Goddess Training Facebook page.
Here are a few names to get you started. Enjoy your exploration!
Rosabeth Moss Kanter
Committing to yourself is not a one-time event, but something you do over and over again. When you find yourself falling into old behaviors and making commitments that don't nurture who you really are on the inside, simply take note, love yourself, and choose again.
You have all the power and all the answers you will ever need inside your beautiful self; sometimes you just need a helpful guide to find them. These ten lessons and your supportive sisters who have gone before you can be such a guide.
Committing to you, finding out who you really are and what you really want, is the most loving thing you can do for yourself and everyone you know. There is no greater gift to the world than living with authenticity.
Every moment, ask yourself: What am I committing to now? Is this where I want to spend my precious energy? For each yes, celebrate. For each no, adjust accordingly.
Excerpted from Warrior Goddess Training by HeatherAsh Amara, Kevin Flores. Copyright © 2015 HeatherAsh Amara. Excerpted by permission of Hierophant Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Lesson 1 Commit to You,
Lesson 2 Align with Life,
Lesson 3 Purify Your Vessel,
Lesson 4 Ground Your Being and Free Your Past,
Lesson 5 Energize Your Sexuality and Creativity,
Lesson 6 Claim Your Strength and Ignite Your Will,
Lesson 7 Open Your Heart,
Lesson 8 Speak Your Truth,
Lesson 9 Embody Your Wisdom,
Lesson 10 Choose Your Path,
Your Questions Answered,