Table of Contents
1 Being Unoffendable: The Ridiculous Idea 1
2 Everyone's an Idiot but Me 9
3 Six Billion Rings 17
4 Artists See Things 23
5 Bert and Ernie and Satan 29
6 Beautiful Exceptions 37
7 The World's Worst Bedtime Story 43
8 Ain't You Tired? 51
9 Reverend of the Dumpster 59
10 Idea: Let's Punch Brant in the Face 67
11 Atheists, Socialists, and Toast 75
12 Anger's Fun-Except for the Boiling, Blazing, and Burning Part 81
13 The Big Question: What About Injustice? 89
14 This Is the Chapter About How We're Just Barely Smart Enough to Be Stupid 101
15 Nothing Left to Lose 111
16 And Here's the Chapter I Kept Putting Off 117
17 We're All Waiting for Something… That Already Happened 125
18 On Winning-and by "Winning," I Mean, of Course, Losing 131
19 The World's Worst Neighbor 139
20 Imbaianced? You Better Hope So 145
21 I Can Worship a God Like That 155
22 Here's the Part Where I Talk About Some Danish People 165
23 Forget Danish People-Let's Talk About Your Elbow 173
24 And Lo, the Kingdom of God Is Like a Terrible Football Team 185
25 The One Thing That Works 191
26 I Keep Learning Things 197
Notes 205
Acknowledgments 211
About the Author 213