In the landscape of motherhood literature, few books brave the intimate and shadowed valleys of pregnancy and infant loss with the grace and reverence found in Eileen Rosete’s To Tend and to Hold: Honoring Our Bodies, Our Needs, and Our Grief Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss. This book emerges as a compassionate beacon for those navigating the tumultuous waters of such profound grief.
“Rosete, herself a survivor of early pregnancy losses, crafts a narrative that transcends the traditional self-help format. She offers a holistic embrace, combining her expertise in marriage and family therapy, postpartum doula work, and grief education to support women in their most vulnerable moments. Her narrative is grounded in personal experience and broadened by her professional expertise, making it both deeply personal and universally applicable.
“The book’s uniqueness lies in its approach. It not only recognizes the physical and emotional postpartum state of women after loss—which is so often overlooked—but also offers an enriched vocabulary that fosters understanding and healing. Terms from other cultures that encapsulate the experience more gently highlight how language shapes our healing landscapes. Rosete’s discussion on the terminology of loss—like the Filipino ‘nakunan,’ meaning ‘someone from whom something was taken away’—provides a poignant example of how words can either isolate or comfort.
“What sets Rosete’s work apart is her integration of practical supports, including nourishing recipes and embodiment practices, that honor the physical and emotional healing processes. The book also respects the diversity of grief’s expression, offering a variety of terms that readers can use to articulate their own experiences with loss. This choice empowers women to define their journey in ways that resonate personally, promoting a healing narrative that is both shared and singularly their own.
“To Tend and to Hold is not merely a book; it is a companion for those who have felt unseen and unheard in their grief. It encourages a discourse that is both more inclusive and more precise—a dual tribute to the nuances of bereavement and the resilience of the human spirit.
“Rosete’s work not only addresses the pain but also illuminates the path to healing with dignity and grace. This book deserves a place on the shelves of all who seek to understand the profound truths of pregnancy and infant loss, and on the desks of those who provide care in these tender areas of our lives.” —Jill Koziol, cofounder of Motherly® and coauthor of This Is Motherhood
“To Tend and to Hold is a safe haven for those of us who know the depths of womb loss intimately. Filled with loving affirmations and gentle mindfulness practices, it invites us to soften and heal through our grief and trauma at our own pace and in our own way. Eileen is a matriarch of healing, and her book is a powerful and precious gift helping us to know our worth and make our way back home to ourselves.” —Alex Elle, New York Times bestselling author of How We Heal
“So intimate in nature, so universal in scope. Eileen S. Rosete gives womb loss and grief all the emotional, physical, and collective attention we need and deserve. This book is a profound act of care.” —Angela Garbes, author of Like a Mother and Essential Labor
“The essence of To Tend and to Hold can be likened to a warm, comforting embrace—a blend of therapeutic wisdom, medical insight, and the compassionate understanding of a close friend. As someone who has personally navigated the painful journey of womb loss, I approach Eileen’s words with profound respect and appreciation. It is a resource I fervently wish had been available during my own ordeal and one I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone facing this heartache—or to supportive partners striving to comprehend and aid their loved ones through such trying times.” —Charlotte Cho, cofounder of Soko Glam and founder of Then I Met You
“Pregnancy loss isn’t talked about enough, even though one-quarter of women will experience it. Eileen is holding space for so many women navigating the heartbreaking realities of family planning in the twenty-first century. Her book, To Tend and to Hold, has put words to many of my own feelings during my bumpy road to motherhood.” —Hannah Bronfman, activist, angel investor, wellness advocate, and author of Do What Feels Good
“This kind and tender book offers many ways of honoring and healing for those who have experienced the loss/death of a fetus or baby, no matter at what gestational age or how that loss occurred. Rosete speaks from the experiences of her own womb losses and from her work with those with similar losses. She has included a number of simple rituals and self-care practices that were created and shared by her friends in the healing professions. Partners, family members, and living children can be included in many of these simple but impactful rituals.” —Jan Chozen Bays, MD, Zen teacher, pediatrician, and author of Jizo Bodhisattva: Guardian of Children, Travelers, and Other Voyagers
“To Tend and to Hold is a guide intended to swaddle and care for people who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. As a women’s health leader and mother, I was deeply moved by the critical conversation on the importance of postpartum care for survivors of womb loss and the integration of somatic practice and storytelling that help soothe wounds left behind by loss. Rosete invites readers to return home to their bodies with a grounding sense of empowerment and reminds them that they indeed are whole.” —Latham Thomas, maternal health expert and founder of Mama Glow
“To Tend and to Hold is a balm for those who experience pregnancy and infant loss, and those who love them. This will be an important resource to have in the world.” —Shannon Gibney, author and coeditor of What God Is Honored Here?: Writings on Miscarriage and Infant Loss by and for Native Women and Women of Color
