Have you been attacked by a great white shark? Gone over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Been exposed to anthrax? No, you haven't, or you'd be dead. This Will Kill You reveals the intriguing facts behind the many ways humans bite the dust in encounters with deadly bugs, hungry predators, natural disasters, and freak occurrences. Thoroughly researched and illustrated, not to mention thoroughly hilarious, this book describes in deathly detail what happens to the body when it's struck by lightning, slimed by a dart frog, or flung from a mountaintop.
No other book has ever peaked under the Grim Reaper's robe in such a straightforward and irreverent way. With a foreword by a physician at the Mayo Clinic, an afterword by a funeral director, lists of history's most notable deaths, and a unique death rating system, everything you need to know about the ways in which we go are included in these pages.
Have you been attacked by a great white shark? Gone over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Been exposed to anthrax? No, you haven't, or you'd be dead. This Will Kill You reveals the intriguing facts behind the many ways humans bite the dust in encounters with deadly bugs, hungry predators, natural disasters, and freak occurrences. Thoroughly researched and illustrated, not to mention thoroughly hilarious, this book describes in deathly detail what happens to the body when it's struck by lightning, slimed by a dart frog, or flung from a mountaintop.
No other book has ever peaked under the Grim Reaper's robe in such a straightforward and irreverent way. With a foreword by a physician at the Mayo Clinic, an afterword by a funeral director, lists of history's most notable deaths, and a unique death rating system, everything you need to know about the ways in which we go are included in these pages.
This Will Kill You: A Guide to the Ways in Which We Go
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Overview
Have you been attacked by a great white shark? Gone over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Been exposed to anthrax? No, you haven't, or you'd be dead. This Will Kill You reveals the intriguing facts behind the many ways humans bite the dust in encounters with deadly bugs, hungry predators, natural disasters, and freak occurrences. Thoroughly researched and illustrated, not to mention thoroughly hilarious, this book describes in deathly detail what happens to the body when it's struck by lightning, slimed by a dart frog, or flung from a mountaintop.
No other book has ever peaked under the Grim Reaper's robe in such a straightforward and irreverent way. With a foreword by a physician at the Mayo Clinic, an afterword by a funeral director, lists of history's most notable deaths, and a unique death rating system, everything you need to know about the ways in which we go are included in these pages.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781429937948 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | St. Martin's Publishing Group |
| Publication date: | 05/26/2009 |
| Sold by: | Macmillan |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 352 |
| File size: | 2 MB |
About the Author
HP NEWQUIST is the author of more than a dozen books, including The Great Brain Book (a National Science Teachers' award winner), the Yahoo! Guide to the Internet (a Book of the Month Selection), and Here There Be Monsters. He is also the creator of the Celebrity Death Trio™, a popular blog that chronicles the passing of fabled icons--who always manage to die in threes.
RICH MALOOF is an editor and award-winning writer specializing in health, technology, and music with a dozen published titles to his credit. He is a front-page contributor to MSN.com, and has also written for CNN, Yahoo!, MSNBC, Women's Health, For Dummies, and Sterling Publications, among others.
HP Newquist has authored more than a dozen books for both children and adults, including the critically acclaimed THE GREAT BRAIN BOOK (Scholastic, 2005). To prepare for his book For Boys Only, Mr. Newquist went scuba diving with sharks in Australia, climbed the Great Pyramid in Egypt, drove some really fast cars, learned a few magic tricks, and read more books than he can count.
Rich Maloof contributed to This Will Kill You from St. Martin's Press.
Jim Shinnick illustrated This Will Kill You from St. Martin's Press.
Read an Excerpt
This Will Kill You
A Guide to the Ways in Which We Go
By HP Newquist, Rich Maloof, Jim Shinnick
St. Martin's Press
Copyright © 2009 HP Newquist and Rich MaloofAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4299-3794-8
CHAPTER 1
ALLIGATORS
Of all the creatures in this book that will eat you, none is nearly so rapacious and violent in its method of killing as the alligator. Lions and tigers are swift, snakes can be methodical, and sharks are powerful and quick. But the alligator is a complete train wreck of a killer, the kind of animal that would gleefully defy the Geneva Convention of animal cruelty toward humans. If there was one.
HOW IT KILLS
There is nothing pretty, clever, surgical, or swift about an alligator's mode of killing. In all cases it is brutish, violent, loud, messy, and bloody.
Alligators prefer to catch victims in their natural water habitats — lakes, rivers, canals, and bayous. Swimming makes it easy for a reptile weighing 300 pounds or more to noiselessly sneak up on its prey. And alligators, despite their size and lumbering gait, can run over land very quickly for short bursts to take down anyone inclined to run away.
Once in striking distance, the alligator clamps its jaws over any available body protrusion, such as an arm, leg, or head. Alligator jaws have the greatest force of any land animal, measuring in at a bone-crushing 3,000 pounds per square inch (PSI). Thus, pulling your arm, leg, or head away from an alligator's mouth intact is not going to happen. In addition, its feet are clawed much like that of a velociraptor, and can rip through muscle and bone like a razor through cloth.
Once it has you securely in mouth, the alligator's favorite method of killing is to drag you — kicking, screaming, thrashing — deep into the water. This serves the purpose of speeding up the death process by drowning you. Alligators can stay underwater for an hour without breathing, which is about fifty-six minutes longer than you can. In the process, however, the alligator flails you about like a rag doll with epilepsy. This is called the alligator's "death roll" and is performed in order to wrench the aforementioned limb out of the appropriate socket (shoulder, hip, etc.) while you concentrate on trying to breathe.
Once your body stops moving, the alligator drags your corpse back to dry land where it proceeds to tear large sections away from whatever remains. For anyone who is not quite dead, and has only passed out from near-asphyxiation, this is about as close to living Hell as it gets right here on Earth.
KNOWN BY SCIENCE AS:
There are only two true alligators: the American alligator (Alligator mississippiensis), and the Chinese alligator (Alligator sinensis). Crocodiles, found in Africa and Australia, are not-too-distant relatives as both crocs and gators belong to the order Crocodilia.
MEDICAL CAUSE OF DEATH
Asphyxiation; organ failure; blood loss
TIME TO KILL
Variable, because it depends on how long you can hold your breath or how long you can survive with a missing limb and no bandages. Our estimate is you have about four to six minutes to get your affairs in order.
HIGHEST RISK
Athletes in Florida — especially golfers, swimmers, and joggers; gator hunters in Louisiana swamps
LETHALITY
Low, about 15 percent. Between six and ten attacks are recorded every year, but only one or two fatalities. Many of the attacks are caused by people bothering alligators that are basking along canal banks or sunning in open areas.
KILLS PER ANNUM
One or two. Not very many, but they sure do make the headlines when they happen, due to the victim fragments that are occasionally left behind.
HISTORIC DEATH TOLL
Hundreds since the settlement of the Americas. For all its power and grim determination, the alligator has not compiled the kinds of killing numbers posted by, say, tigers and snakes.
NOTABLE VICTIMS
Annemarie Campbell, Judy Cooper, and Yovy Suarez Jimenez were all killed in Florida in the space of one week in May 2006. In the last six decades, only seventeen people have been killed in Florida by alligators. That's one every three years or so. Yet in that one week, these three women were killed in broad daylight and in populated areas. All three became part of the revered circle of life, as if the gators were on some kind of human-protein South Beach Diet.
HORROR FACTOR: 11, ON A SCALE OF 10
Having a creature that looks like a dinosaur drag you to the bottom of the swamp with your leg clamped in its mouth has to give new meaning to the phrase "What a way to go."
GRIM FACTS
• Alligators have some of the strongest jaws ever crafted by natural selection, but they only exert significant force when snapping closed. Alligators have very weak musculature with which to open their mouths, and the jaws on even the biggest gators can easily be held shut with your bare hands.
• When the alligator was placed on the endangered species list in the United States in 1967, there were fewer than 300,000 in existence. Today there are an estimated two million, living everywhere from swamps to suburbs, which accounts for a recent rise in their attacks on humans.
• Crocodiles are close relatives of alligators, and feast more readily on local villagers in their native Australia and Africa than do their American counterparts. A crocodile known as Gustave is believed to have killed more than 200 villagers in Burundi since the 1980s — and is still at it.
CHAPTER 2ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE
Notorious for its ability to destroy memory like it was stored on a faulty computer, this disease can just about wipe your mental hard drive clean. In the most advanced stages, you won't get a chance to reboot.
HOW IT KILLS
The aging of America's baby boomers has brought on a wave of action against diseases that take hold late in life. On the upside, that results in more motivated and better funded research on several degenerative conditions; on the downside, Alzheimer's is still well ahead of the wave. It is the most prevalent form of dementia today, though watching reality shows runs a close second.
It's hard to cure a disease when you don't understand what causes it. Ever since German neurologist Alois Alzheimer discovered abnormalities during a 1906 autopsy of a woman who had dementia, the disease has been hallmarked by tangles of neural fibers and deposits of plaque in the brain. On your teeth, plaque is unsightly; on your brain, it's a bit more of a problem. The origin of these neural plaque malformations is unknown, though risk factors include genetic disposition, head injury, exposure to toxins, and, of course, advanced age. Approximately 10 percent of those over sixty-five are believed to have the condition — and nearly half of those aged eighty-five or older. Scientists estimate some 4.5 million Americans (nearly the population of Norway) currently suffer from Alzheimer's.
Though AD is the nation's Number 7 killer, it's uncommon to die from direct causes. Instead, the way it compromises your cognitive functionality will bring on deadly secondary conditions. Following later-stage Alzheimer's symptoms — like forgetting how to comb your hair, failing to recognize your spouse, or having problems with speaking and comprehension — you become susceptible to other health threats. Difficulty swallowing sends food and drink into your airways and lungs, leading to pneumonia; incontinence leads to urinary tract infections, then more serious infection; falls lead to head injuries, and head injuries to strokes. You won't even find much assistance with a help-I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up alarm, since you probably won't remember that you bought one or that you're wearing it.
KNOWN BY SCIENCE AS:
Alzheimer's Disease (AD)
MEDICAL CAUSE OF DEATH
Amyloid plaques and neurofibrillary tangles in the brain leading to secondary conditions such as pneumonia, sepsis, and stroke
TIME TO KILL
Average of eight years after diagnosis; sometimes as long as twenty years
HIGHEST RISK
Susceptibility appears highest among people who are over eighty-five; have sustained head injuries; have immediate relatives with Alzheimer's; are inactive or physically unfit
LETHALITY
High, although prolonged
KILLS PER ANNUM
Approximately 72,000 in the United States
HISTORIC DEATH TOLL
Deaths attributed to Alzheimer's rose 25 percent between 1998 and 1999, when related secondary conditions were first tabulated as AD fatalities. Outside of the world of statistics, there have been dramatic improvements in the survivability due to improvements in diagnosis, awareness in the medical community, and other factors.
NOTABLE VICTIMS
Physicians believe the head injury Ronald Reagan sustained when thrown from a horse in 1989 hastened the onset of Alzheimer's, which he was diagnosed with five years later. Media coverage of Reagan's decline helped raise awareness of the disease. Other famous victims include Rita Hayworth, Charlton Heston, Iris Murdoch, and James Doohan (Scotty on Star Trek).
HORROR FACTOR: 8
Alzheimer's earns a high horror factor since the suffering it causes a patient has to be added to the dread and emotional burden on loved ones.
GRIM FACTS
• A study at the University of Bordeaux found that people who drank up to two glasses of wine per day had slightly diminished risk of dementia; still, no responsible medical professional would recommend wine consumption to prevent Alzheimer's.
• An association has been made between less education and increased incidence of Alzheimer's. Researchers believe increased use of one's intellect may reduce risk, perhaps because an active brain creates more synapses.
• Contrary to long-standing theories, there's no reliable evidence that Alzheimer's is caused by exposure to aluminum.
CHAPTER 3ANAPHYLAXIS
Some allergies tickle your nose. Some even make your lips swell or give you a case of the runs. But when a bee sting — or a simple sip of milk — leaves you gasping for air, you've got yourself a genuinely deadly allergic response known as anaphylactic shock.
HOW IT KILLS
Our immune systems are still evolving, and because of that sometimes they just plain goof. The essence of an allergic reaction is having your body react to something as if it's dangerous when it really isn't. Of course, if you try telling that to someone in the emergency room after they've innocently enjoyed some walnuts, you're apt to get a dirty look. If they can still open their eyes.
The problem — and for 30,000 Americans every year, it is a very big problem — is that the proteins in some foods, chemicals, and insect venoms can cause certain cells (called mast cells) to explode and release histamines. This wreaks havoc on the entire system, and can lead to a serious, potentially fatal allergic reaction known as anaphylaxis. The most common culprits are foods like fish, shellfish, tree nuts, eggs, and milk; stinging insects like yellow jackets, wasps, and fire ants; and medications like antibiotics and antiseizure drugs. Products containing latex, too, can cause anaphylaxis, putting hundreds of surgical patients at risk when a surgeon's glove comes in contact with their soft, pink innards.
So imagine you've just had your first bite of a lovely salad sprinkled with nuts and dressed with egg whites. First your mouth starts to tingle, then itch. You detect a metallic taste. Your curiosity turns to fear as your tongue swells, your body begins to feel warm all over, and your skin breaks out in an agonizing rash. Within minutes, or even seconds, your stomach cramps — and then panic sets in as you realize it's increasingly difficult to draw a breath.
Anaphylaxis can be devastating to the respiratory system, tightening your airway and squeezing your chest with a pain that can mimic a heart attack. In fact, your heart is potentially in trouble since anaphylaxis not only narrows your bronchial tubes but causes your blood pressure to plummet. Shocked by the inability to draw air and/or maintain blood pressure, your body gives up and you begin to pass out. As the world goes black, you realize the error of your ways and wish you'd just ordered the chicken fingers.
KNOWN BY SCIENCE AS: Acute anaphylaxis
MEDICAL CAUSE OF DEATH
Respiratory shock; hypotension
TIME TO KILL
Minutes. In a biphasic (two-phase) reaction, symptoms subside for a few hours only to return with deadly consequence.
HIGHEST RISK
Young people aged ten to nineteen who have both a food allergy and asthma are in the group with the highest fatality rate.
LETHALITY
Low, except for those with asthma or previous anaphylactic responses. Anaphylaxis is believed to affect as much as 15 percent of the U.S. population.
KILLS PER ANNUM
Approximately 1,500 from all types of anaphylaxis. About 150 people die every year from food allergies, another 40 from insect stings. Penicillin, the wonder drug of the twentieth century, doubles as a lethal allergen, leading to some 400 deaths every year.
HISTORIC DEATH TOLL
Undetermined, though anaphylactic reactions are on the increase worldwide. In the ten-year period between 1994 and 2004, the rate of hospital admissions jumped by 8.8 percent per year. However, increased awareness and the availability of epinephrine and antihistamines as emergency treatments has held the death toll relatively steady.
NOTABLE VICTIM
In 2001, a nineteen-year-old from South Carolina who had mold allergies died after eating pancakes made from a dated flour mix. It was the last jack he flapped.
HORROR FACTOR: 6
Meeting your fate from eating a simple meal — or, worse, by taking medications that are supposed to make you healthy — is a shocking and cruel twist.
GRIM FACTS
• Ten million Americans are allergic to their own pets. Reactions to a cat or dog's saliva, dander, or urine put thousands in the hospital every year.
• Most children outgrow allergies to milk, eggs, or wheat by the age of ten.
• It wasn't long ago that a school cafeteria could be filled with kids eating peanut butter sandwiches, and no one keeled over dead into a PB&J. Researchers aren't sure why peanut allergies are on the rise, but the number of reactions doubled in just five years between 1997 and 2002.
Horsing Around
Kenneth Pinyan of Enumclaw, Washington, died on July 2, 2005, shortly after his colon was perforated during intercourse with an Arabian stallion. Though Pinyan regularly engaged in this bizarre activity, and even videotaped it, on this particular occasion he contracted peritonitis (inflammation of the lining of the abdominal cavity), which ultimately killed him. Pinyan was the subject of the 2007 documentary Zoo.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from This Will Kill You by HP Newquist, Rich Maloof, Jim Shinnick. Copyright © 2009 HP Newquist and Rich Maloof. Excerpted by permission of St. Martin's Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Title Page,FOREWORD,
INTRODUCTION,
TWO-MINUTE MED SCHOOL,
DESCRIPTION OF ICONS,
ALLIGATORS,
ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE,
ANAPHYLAXIS,
ANTHRAX,
ARSENIC,
THE BENDS,
BLACK WIDOW SPIDER,
BOMBS,
BOTULISM,
BRAIN ANEURYSM,
BULLET WOUND,
BURNING AT THE STAKE,
CANCER,
CAR VERSUS TREE,
COPD,
DEATH CAP MUSHROOM,
DEHYDRATION IN THE SAHARA DESERT,
DOGS,
DIABETES TYPE 2,
DRINKING BINGE,
A DRINK OF DRAIN CLEANER,
DROWNING AT SEA,
DRUG OVERDOSE AT A ROCK SHOW,
EBOLA VIRUS,
EXECUTIONS Yesterday and Today,
FALLING FROM A MOUNTAINTOP,
FREEZING,
GANGRENE,
GARROTE,
GOING OVER NIAGARA FALLS,
GREAT WHITE SHARK,
GUINEA WORM,
HAIR DRYER IN THE BATHTUB,
HEART ATTACK,
HELMINTH PARASITES,
HEMLOCK,
HEPATITIS,
HIV/AIDS,
HOLE IN THE HEAD,
HOUSE FIRE,
HUNGER STRIKE,
JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE,
KNIFE WOUND,
KOMODO DRAGON,
LEAD POISONING,
LIGHTNING ON THE GOLF COURSE,
LIONS, TIGERS, AND BEARS,
MENINGITIS,
MOSQUITO,
NATURAL DISASTERS,
NERVE GAS (SARIN),
NUCLEAR EXPLOSION,
OLEANDER,
PEPTIC ULCER,
THE PLAGUE,
PLAYING PROFESSIONAL SPORTS,
PNEUMONIA,
POISON DART FROG,
POLONIUM POISONING,
PUFFERFISH,
RADIATION EXPOSURE,
RED IMPORTED FIRE ANTS,
RICIN,
SEPTICEMIA,
SMALLPOX,
SNAKES,
SPACE SUIT MALFUNCTION,
STAMPEDING AND TRAMPLING (HERD ANIMALS),
STROKE,
SYPHILIS,
TETANUS,
TRYING TO BEAT A LOCOMOTIVE ACROSS THE TRACKS,
TUBERCULOSIS,
UNSCHEDULED PLANE LANDING,
WORKING IN A COAL MINE,
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS,
THIS IS THE END,
SOURCES,
Copyright Page,