This Is Getting Old: Zen Thoughts on Aging with Humor and Dignity

by Susan Moon

Overview

Inspiring lessons on growing older with grace and laughter, from a Zen teacher and writer who is “like a Buddhist Anne Lamott” (New York Journal of Books)

Being a woman over sixty can sometimes be confusing, sometimes poignant, and sometimes hilarious. In this intimate and funny collection of essays, Zen Buddhist and writer Susan Moon maintains her sense of humor as she provides thoughtful insights on getting older.

In This Is Getting Old, Moon touches on both the ups and downs of aging: Her bones are weakening, but she still feels her inner tomboy. She finds herself both an orphan and a matriarch following the death of her mother. She admits to sometimes regretting pieces of her past and to being afraid of loneliness. These musings, written with Moon’s signature wit and grace, are a touching exploration and celebration of life, age, and our “senior moments”—plus a powerful reminder to be in the here and now.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780834823068
Publisher:	Shambhala
Publication date:	06/08/2010
Series:	Shambhala Publications
Sold by:	Penguin Random House Publisher Services
Format:	eBook
Pages:	208
Sales rank:	906,606
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Susan Moon is a writer and longtime Zen Buddhist who teaches popular writing workshops, mostly in California. She is the former editor of Turning Wheel: The Journal of Socially Engaged Buddhism. She lives in Berkeley, California.

Read an Excerpt

The first of what I think of as my age-related falls happened because I was engaging in behavior that was not age-appropriate. It was a gorgeous summer day, and I was riding on a narrow bike path behind my ten-year-old niece, who was out of sight. I’m not too old to ride a bike, but I felt suddenly compelled to ride “no hands” as I used to do when I was a girl of ten. You’re only as old as you feel! Aren’t they always telling you that? The carefree breeze caressed my hair and the warblers sang for me in the bushes, until my wheel slipped on some gravel at a curve in the path and down I went, skinning my knees, hands, and elbows. Wheeling my bike, I limped to where my niece waited for me at a fork in the path. “My God! What happened to you?” she exclaimed.

“Pride goeth before a fall,” I told her. I have given up riding “no hands” for the rest of my life—one more age-related loss. At least this one is easy to live with.

As I get older the ground seems to get farther and farther away and it takes longer for my brain to get the signals to my feet, and vice versa. Sometimes when I first get out of bed in the morning I stumble against the doorframe on my way to the bathroom. My body used to take care of ordinary things like walking on its own without adult supervision; now I have to think about picking up my feet.

I’ve been watching a friend’s ten-month-old learn to walk. She holds on to the coffee table and walks herself along its edge, and then she takes the great plunge, let's go, and steps out across space, two full steps to the edge of the sofa! Triumph! As for me, I’m moving in the opposite direction. Some day the people in the room may clap for me, too, as I let go of the edge of the kitchen table and take the bold step across space to the kitchen counter.

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

Part 1 Cracks in the Mind and Body

Where Did I Put My Begging Bowl? 3

Stain on the Sky 10

Leaving the Lotus Position 21

The Breathing Tube 26

Old Bones 40

All Fall Down 49

Senior Moment, Wonderful Moment 55

Part 2 Changing Relationships

In the Shade of My Own Tree 61

Exchanging Self and Other 70

House of Commons 79

Getting Good at Staying Still 85

Grandmother Mind 93

What If I Never Have Sex Again? 99

Becoming Invisible 103

The Tomboy Returns 108

Part 3 In the Realm of the Spirit

Tea with God 119

I Wasn't My Self 122

You Can't Take It with You 133

The Secret Place 138

Talking to My Dead Mother 144

For the Time Being 153

Alone with Everyone 160

This Vast Life 168

Acknowledgments 173

Credits and Permissions 175

Editorial Reviews

In her mid-60s, Bay Area Zen practitioner Moon, former editor of the Buddhist Peace Fellowship’s Turning Wheel magazine, writes, “I wanted to look right into the face of oldness. What is it?” Gentle essays are grouped into three sections: mind/body, relationships, and spirit. Moon uses detail vividly in her determination to make peace with the many failures of brain and body (from forgetting her Social Security number to wondering if she’ll ever have sex again), though not all readers may want to follow her into the intricacies of retinal detachment and an elderly mother on a ventilator. Her best writing occurs when memory, emotion, and spirit coalesce as she recovers parts of herself left behind in childhood or comes to terms with solitude. Overall, the book is long on dignity but a bit short on both Zen and humor, focusing on earnest self-disclosure. But Moon’s honesty about the inner and outer realities of aging conveys an urgent reminder of inevitable loss; indeed, as she reminds us, “I am not getting old alone.” (June)

Publishers Weekly

Moon is like a Buddhist Anne Lamott—confronting her life bravely and unapologetically. Reading as a man in his mid-sixties, [I] welcomed her honest ambivalence about aging. Her style is conversational yet often beautifully vivid and clear.”
—New York Journal of Books

“A funny, honest, and deeply personal book.  This collection of confessional essays makes for absorbing reading.”
—Mandala

“Refreshingly honest and enlightening. In this sterling collection of essays, Susan Moon looks at the rewards, blessings, drawbacks, and challenges of aging.  We are so grateful that Moon has written this insightful book in which she passes on what all this has meant to her.”
—Spirituality & Practice

“Gentle essays . . . long on dignity.  Moon uses detail vividly in her determination to make peace with the many failures of brain and body (from forgetting her Social Security number to wondering if she’ll ever have sex again). Her best writing occurs when memory, emotion, and spirit coalesce as she recovers parts of herself left behind in childhood or comes to terms with solitude.”
—Publishers Weekly

“Aging is the biggest issue facing me and everyone I know. This book is poignant, funny, and spot-on, and I am tremendously grateful to Susan Moon for writing it. I love this book!”
—Sylvia Boorstein, author of Happiness Is an Inside Job

“This Is Getting Old is a sweet, mellow, funny, wise, sad, and deeply affecting book. Susan Moon's essays are so disarmingly honest, so personal and plain, that they will make you forget what an astonishingly rare and profound achievement this is.”
—Norman Fischer, author of Sailing Home and Taking Our Places

“[Moon] does not shy away from any aspect of aging, from sore knees to foggy memory, but also maintains a sassy sense of humor. Perhaps if more people were as open about aging as Moon is, we shouldn’t all be so uncomfortable with the idea. This is a great read for anyone pondering the future.”
—Sacramento Book Review

From the Publisher