This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

by Jason Pargin, David Wong

Overview

INCLUDES A NEW AFTERWORD

From Jason Pargin, the New York Times bestselling author of the cult sensation John Dies at the End, comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.

You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection—the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed.

Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

"Like an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead written by Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy…Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post

"Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller… [Jason Pargin] is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250830524
Publisher:	St. Martin's Publishing Group
Publication date:	10/05/2021
Series:	John Dies at the End Series , #2
Pages:	464
Sales rank:	29,966
Product dimensions:	5.30(w) x 8.20(h) x 1.40(d)

About the Author

JASON PARGIN is the New York Times bestselling author of the John Dies at the End series as well as the award-winning Zoey Ashe novels. He previously published under the pseudonym David Wong. His essays at Cracked.com and other outlets have been enjoyed by tens of millions of readers around the world.

DAVID WONG is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, New York Times bestselling author of the John Dies at the End series as well as the award-winning Zoey Ashe novels. He previously published under the pseudonym David Wong. His essays at Cracked.com and other outlets have been enjoyed by tens of millions of readers around the world.

Editorial Reviews

Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller that makes zombies relevant again... [Pargin] never has to reach for comedy, it flows naturally with nary a stumble... the most pertinent story of the genre since George Romero's Dawn of the Dead... [Jason Pargin] is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor.” —SF Signal

“The comedic and crackling dialogue also brings a whimsical flair to the story, making it seem like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it.” —Washington Post

“[A] phantasmagoria of horror, humor—and even insight into the nature of paranoia, perception, and identity.” —Publishers Weekly, starred review

“One of the great things about discovering new writers, especially in the narrow range of hybrid-genre comedic novels, is realizing that they're having just as much fun making this stuff up as you are reading it. Sitting squarely with the likes of S.G. Browne and Christopher Moore, [Jason Pargin] must be pissing himself laughing at his own writing, even as he's giving fans an even funnier, tighter and justifiably insane entry in the series.... Anyone who enjoyed the recent films The Cabin in the Woods or Tucker & Dale vs. Evil will find themselves right at home.” —Kirkus

“Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next.” —Publishers Weekly on John Dies at the End

“…strikes enough of a balance between hilarity, horror, and surrealism here to keep anyone glued to the story.” —Booklist on John Dies at the End

“You can (and will want to) read JOHN DIES AT THE END in one sitting.” —BookReporter.com on John Dies at the End

“[Pargin] blends horror and suspense with comedy—a tricky combination—and pulls it off effortlessly.” —FashionAddict.com on John Dies at the End

“It’s interesting, compelling, engaging, arresting and—yes—sometimes even horrifying. And when it’s not being any of those things, it’s funny. Very, very funny.” —January Magazine on John Dies at the End

“This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read.” —Jacob Kier, publisher, Permuted Press, on John Dies at the End

“The rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares; David is a consistently hilarious narrator whose one-liners and running commentary are sincere in a way that makes the horrors he confronts even more unsettling.” —The Onion AV Club on John Dies at the End

“A loopy buddy-movie of a book with deadpan humor and great turns of phrase...Just plain fun.” —Library Journal on John Dies at the End

“John Dies at the End is like an H.P. Lovecraft tale if Lovecraft were into poop and fart jokes.” —Fangoria on John Dies at the End

“The book takes every pop culture trend of the past twenty years, peppers it with 14-year-old dick and fart humor, and blends it all together with a huge heaping of splatterpunk gore…. Successfully blend[s] laugh-out-loud humor with legitimate horror.” —i09.com on John Dies at the End

From the Publisher