These Are Our Bodies, High School Parent Book: Talking Faith & Sexuality at Church & Home (High School Parent Book)
80
These Are Our Bodies, High School Parent Book: Talking Faith & Sexuality at Church & Home (High School Parent Book)
80Paperback
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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781606743317 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Church Publishing, Incorporated |
| Publication date: | 06/01/2017 |
| Series: | These Are Our Bodies |
| Pages: | 80 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.50(w) x 8.25(h) x (d) |
About the Author
Caren Miles is the Associate for Discipleship Ministries in the Diocese of California, previously having served in congregations in the Diocese of Dallas, New York, and California with children and youth. She ran the Children's Program at General Convention in 2012 and 2015. She has a BA in Political Science from the University of North Texas and over 15 years of life lessons learned in ministry helping children and youth find their identities as beloved children of God. She lives in Alameda, California.
Read an Excerpt
These Are Our Bodies for High School Parent Book
Talking Faith & Sexuality at Church & Home
By Samantha Haycock, Caren Miles
Church Publishing Incorporated
Copyright © 2017 Samantha Haycock and Caren MilesAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-60674-331-7
CHAPTER 1
SESSION 1 OUR INTRODUCTION
You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.
— John 15:16–17
Prayer
Almighty God, the fountain of all wisdom: Enlighten by your Holy Spirit those who teach and those who learn, that, rejoicing in the knowledge of your truth, they may worship you and serve you from generation to generation; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.
Description of this Session
In this session you and your youth will be introduced to These Are Our Bodies. You will get an overview of the program. Also, you will have the opportunity to ask questions about what will be covered in subsequent sessions. As part of this you will learn the regular rhythm of the sessions so you know what to expect for your child. During the first session you will begin to consider how sexuality and spirituality intersect.
Scripture Study
Read: Luke 2:41–52 (NRSV)
How This Is Related to Sexuality
For years you've watched your children grow and learn at school, in church, and amongst your family and friends. Sometimes you could control and shape the lessons, sometimes you could not. When they were babies, you may have chosen godparents for them. When they were old enough, you chose their school for them. You picked which shows they could watch and what food they could eat. They are now at an age where they are making more and more decisions on their own. Like letting go of the bike when you were teaching them to ride, are you ready for them to make those decisions? Have you surrounded them with adults you trust and friendships that build them up? If they get lost, will they return to a faith community for answers? There are so many beautiful things about watching your child grow in wisdom and in years; we should all be like Mary and try to treasure as much of it as we can.
Other Bible References
Here are some other pieces of Scripture that might help you think about the importance of the intersection of spirituality and sexuality in a new way:
• Luke 19:45–48 — Jesus Throws the Money Changers out of the Temple (the youth discussed this Scripture during the session)
• 1 Timothy 4:11–16 — A Good Minister of Jesus Christ
• Ephesians 4:1–16 — Unity in the Body of Christ
Personal Reflection Questions
Before you came to this class what did you think about the relationship between sexuality and spirituality?
The opening activity was called "An Interactive Museum." As everyone added their thoughts and ideas to the pages on the wall, you were given a glimpse into others' thoughts, hopes, beliefs, and biases. How did it help you see the variety and diversity of the people and ideas in the room?
Can you take that understanding of others' perspectives out into the world with you? How?
You had an opportunity to listen to other people tell you what they think God has to do with sexuality. Were there any opinions that reinforced your perspective? That made you change your mind or altered your view?
The Bible passage you read told about a time when Jesus was ready for something before his parents thought he was. How has your child surprised you in this way?
How can you prepare to praise your child when they make Christian choices?
How can you prepare to help your child when they make mistakes?
Conversations to Have with Your Family
These are questions you might want to ask yourself now and prepare to discuss with your family. They will help you and your youth to deepen your understanding and commitments. They will also help reinforce the fact that you are your child's best advocate and can be their first stop when seeking information.
• Why is it important that our family participate in These Are Our Bodies?
• How did your parents (your child's grandparents) teach you about sexuality?
• How will you respond when your child(ren) ask you about sexuality and spirituality?
• Tell your child the story of a time when you were proud of a decision they made.
• Tell the story about how you chose your child's godparents.
Worship
Leader: The Lord be with you.
Participants: And also with you.
Leader: Let us pray.
From Psalm 139
O LORD, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down,
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
O LORD, you know it completely.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is so high that I cannot attain it.
A Reading from Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God — what is good and acceptable and perfect.
A period of silence may follow.
Prayers may be offered for ourselves and others.
The Lord's Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever. Amen.
The Collect
O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
CHAPTER 2SESSION 2 OUR LANGUAGE
Desire without knowledge is not good, and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way.
— Proverbs 19:2
Description of this Session
In the second lesson, your youth will learn some vocabulary about sexuality. But first we want to know what kind of words they use or know already. They will work on building a common vocabulary so that everyone is on the same page during our conversations and can fully comprehend what others are saying. Hopefully, by naming both the clinical terminology and the slang we will ease some of their anxiety and reduce the stigma of talking openly about sexuality.
In this session your youth:
• Broke into small groups and brainstormed a list of vocabulary terms, both clinical and slang, having to do with sex and sexuality. Then, they came together as a large group to combine these lists into one shared list. From this large list, they determined what sort of language we will use for the rest of our time together.
• Discussed the activity and followed up with a Bible study. Here are some of the questions we asked:
* Why do you think we feel more comfortable using certain words over others when it comes to sexuality?
* Why do you think people tend to use metaphor when they talk about sexuality?
* What does using respectful and accurate language have to do with being a Christian?
* How do the words we choose as our common vocabulary "build up" those we are in relationship with?
Scripture Study
Read: Ephesians 4:25–32 (NRSV)
How This Is Related to Sexuality
When we were younger we would say, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." How much do we wish that were still true today? Words said in anger or with malice can cause wounds much worse than a broken bone. In this reading, Paul isn't telling us we can never get angry, but he is reminding us that we can express all of our emotions in ways that build up instead of tear down.
In a similar way, vocabulary around sexuality can be shocking for some people, especially out of context. That's why words related to sex make such great insults. If we are to "be kind to one another," we can work to use words correctly and gently correct those around us to do the same. We are also able to know each other more fully when we are specific and particular in our language use.
Other Bible References
Here are some other pieces of Scripture that might help you think about the importance of the way we use language in a new way:
• Matthew 18:15–20 — Reproving Another Who Sins
• John 1:1–5 — The Word Became Flesh
Personal Reflection or Parent Group Discussion Questions
What words or phrases come to mind when you think about sexuality?
What words do your family use when referring to body parts and sexuality? Are they the same words you used when potty training and teaching your child(ren) about their bodies? How have the words you use changed over the years?
When you talk with your child about the body and sexuality do you use clinical terms or metaphor? How do you think this affects the way your child thinks about the body?
What new words do you need to learn to have conversations with your child(ren) about sexuality? What do you do when your child uses a slang word you haven't heard before? Does your family have a safe space for admitting you don't know something?
Do you remember the first time your child used a "bad word" in front of you? How did you react? Would you change anything about how you reacted? How can you use that knowledge to shape how you talk with your child about sexuality in the future?
How might the tone of your voice and your body language shape what your child(ren) share with you? How can you be open to talking with your child about difficult subjects without appearing to judge or criticize their choices?
How can your conversations about sexuality be grounded in faith?
Conversations to Have with Your Family
These are questions you might want to ask yourself now and prepare to discuss with your family. They will help you and your youth to deepen their understanding and commitments. They will also help reinforce the fact that you are your child's best advocate and can be their first stop when seeking information.
• What words do we use as a family to describe our bodies? What about sexuality?
• How do I model a healthy body image, self-esteem, and relationship with my own sexuality for my child?
• How does our family decide and enforce what proper language is?
• Tell a story about a time you were offended by the way someone else described your body or sexuality.
• Tell a story about a time you felt truly seen by the way someone else described your body or sexuality.
CHAPTER 3SESSION 3 OUR VALEU SYSTEM
Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
— Philippians 4:8
Description of this Session
In Session 3 the youth will talk about where and from whom they learn values. We receive messages about what is right and wrong or good and bad from many sources. In this session the youth will work to claim their own values by thinking critically about what they actually believe to be good or bad, right or wrong. When your values are well defined it makes making decisions about your sexuality much clearer and easier.
In this session your youth:
• Did an activity about how we develop our value systems and who or what teaches us what is right and wrong or good and bad. We illustrated what value systems different influences (ourselves, caregivers, friends, God, media) in our life have around specific issues regarding sexuality.
• Discussed the activity and followed up with a Bible study. Here are some of the questions we asked:
* Why do we believe the things we believe?
* How does our environment impact what we believe and the values we hold?
* How do our experiences impact our value systems?
* How have the things we were taught as children influenced the way we behave?
* How do you decide right from wrong?
* How do our values inform our actions?
* How do you think people have determined what is the "law of God"? How might this have changed over time?
* Do you think that you have to have a certain set of values in order to be a Christian?
* What would you name as Christian values?
Scripture Study
Read: Romans 7:14–25 (NRSV)
How This Is Related to Sexuality
Temptation is everywhere. David fell prey to it. Jesus wrestled with it. And here, Paul struggles with it. We are taught by our parents, youth ministers, priests, and teachers the choices God wants us to make. Society also tries to influence our decisions and values. How do we discern for ourselves what is right? How do you trust your gut? How do you know what God wants for you? Is it possible to live a holy life, in communion with God, and also be a sexual being? How can you embody your sexuality, and your whole self, in a way that glorifies who God made you to be?
Other Bible References
Here are some other pieces of Scripture that might help you think about personal and cultural values in a new way:
• 2 Samuel 11–12:15 — David and Bathsheba and Nathan
• Matthew 4:1–11 — Jesus in the Wilderness
• Colossians 3:1–17 — The New Life of Christ
Personal Reflection or Parent Group Discussion Questions
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. (1 Corinthians 13:11)
What age do you think you became an adult? When did you begin to intentionally "put an end to childish ways"? In what ways did you change when you made the decision to grow up?
In some ways, you will always see your child(ren) as that tiny toddler who needs your help with everything. How can you enable them grow into independent adults? What age-appropriate responsibilities can you trust them with now? How can you work with them to expand that trust, especially when it comes to decision making?
What do you do when you know your child(ren) has made a mistake and is heading for a difficult time? How do you decide when to step in to help or fix? How do you decide when to stand back and let them learn from failure?
When you know something is wrong and do it anyway, or you know something is right but fail to do it, how does it affect your self-esteem?
What are some of your personal values around sexuality? How have they changed since adolescence? How do you model these values for your children?
What would it take for you to do a better job of matching your actions to your values?
Do you think it's possible for someone to make the right decision all the time? Why?
Conversations to Have with Your Family
These are questions you might want to ask yourself now and prepare to discuss with your family. They will help you and your youth to deepen their understanding and commitments. They will also help reinforce the fact that you are your child's best advocate and can be their first stop when seeking information.
• How have you modeled the values that you want your child to hold?
• How does our family define and live into our value system?
• How does our family hold each other accountable to our values?
• How does our family reconcile when a member makes an unhealthy decision?
• Tell a story about a time when your values and actions did not align; how did you sort this experience out?
CHAPTER 4SESSION 4 OUR COUNTY
For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.
— Psalm 139:13–16
Description of this Session
During this session your youth will explore the multiplicity and complexity of our identities as sexual beings. They will be asked to think about their own identity and orientation. We will talk about what we present on the outside compared to who we actually are on the inside and how we can align these realities.
In this session your youth:
• Spent time creating a personal identity mask. On the inside they wrote their inner characteristics, things that people who are close to them might know but that may not be obvious to the common observer. On the outside they wrote all of the things they think people see when they look at them. We shared our masks with the large group. Then we began to think about our identity in terms of our sexuality, gender, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction.
• Discussed the activity and followed up with a Bible study. Here are some of the questions we asked:
* Are there things on our inside that we do not want to share with others? Why are we hesitant to share?
* Are there ways in which you wish you could change the way others perceive you?
* How can we learn to accept, love, and align both sides of our own masks?
* How can we see, accept, and love both sides of others' masks, especially when we can't see what they've hidden from us?
(Continues...)
Excerpted from These Are Our Bodies for High School Parent Book by Samantha Haycock, Caren Miles. Copyright © 2017 Samantha Haycock and Caren Miles. Excerpted by permission of Church Publishing Incorporated.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Introduction
SESSION 1: Our Introduction
SESSION 2: Our Language
SESSION 3: Our Value System
SESSION 4: Our Identity
SESSION 5: Our Self Image
SESSION 6: Our Relationship
SESSION 7: Our Health
SESSION 8: Our Dignity
SESSION 9: Our Theology
Resources