The Witchstone

An unforgettable, high-stakes, laugh-out-loud funny novel, The Witchstone blends the merciless humor of The Good Place with the spellbinding fantasy of Neil Gaiman's American Gods.

Meet Laszlo, eight-hundred-year-old demon and Hell's least productive Curse Keeper. From his office beneath Midtown, he oversees the Drakeford Curse, which involves a pathetic family upstate and a mysterious black monolith. It's a sexy enough assignment-colonial origins, mutating victims, et cetera-but Laszlo has no interest in maximizing the curse's potential; he'd rather sunbathe in Ibiza, quaff martinis, and hustle the hustlers on Manhattan's subway. Unfortunately, his division has new management, and Laszlo's ratings are so abysmal that he's given six days to shape up or he'll be melted down and returned to the Primordial Ooze.

Meet Maggie Drakeford, nineteen-year-old Curse Bearer. All she's ever known is the dreary corner of the Catskills where the Drakeford Curse has devoured her father's humanity and is rapidly laying claim to her own. The future looks hopeless, until Laszlo appears at the Drakeford farmhouse one October night and informs them that they have six days-and six days only-to break the spell before it becomes permanent. Can Maggie trust the glib and handsome Laszlo? Of course not. But she also can't pass up an opportunity to save her family, even if it means having a demon as a guide ...

Thus begins a breakneck international adventure that takes our unlikely duo from a hot dog stand in Central Park to the mountains of Liechtenstein. As the clock ticks down, tough-as-nails Maggie and conniving Laszlo will uncover a secret so profound that what began as a farcical quest to break a curse will eventually threaten the very Lords of Hell.

"1144338618"
The Witchstone

An unforgettable, high-stakes, laugh-out-loud funny novel, The Witchstone blends the merciless humor of The Good Place with the spellbinding fantasy of Neil Gaiman's American Gods.

Meet Laszlo, eight-hundred-year-old demon and Hell's least productive Curse Keeper. From his office beneath Midtown, he oversees the Drakeford Curse, which involves a pathetic family upstate and a mysterious black monolith. It's a sexy enough assignment-colonial origins, mutating victims, et cetera-but Laszlo has no interest in maximizing the curse's potential; he'd rather sunbathe in Ibiza, quaff martinis, and hustle the hustlers on Manhattan's subway. Unfortunately, his division has new management, and Laszlo's ratings are so abysmal that he's given six days to shape up or he'll be melted down and returned to the Primordial Ooze.

Meet Maggie Drakeford, nineteen-year-old Curse Bearer. All she's ever known is the dreary corner of the Catskills where the Drakeford Curse has devoured her father's humanity and is rapidly laying claim to her own. The future looks hopeless, until Laszlo appears at the Drakeford farmhouse one October night and informs them that they have six days-and six days only-to break the spell before it becomes permanent. Can Maggie trust the glib and handsome Laszlo? Of course not. But she also can't pass up an opportunity to save her family, even if it means having a demon as a guide ...

Thus begins a breakneck international adventure that takes our unlikely duo from a hot dog stand in Central Park to the mountains of Liechtenstein. As the clock ticks down, tough-as-nails Maggie and conniving Laszlo will uncover a secret so profound that what began as a farcical quest to break a curse will eventually threaten the very Lords of Hell.

29.95 In Stock
The Witchstone

The Witchstone

by Henry H. Neff

Narrated by Ramiz Monsef

Unabridged — 17 hours, 43 minutes

The Witchstone

The Witchstone

by Henry H. Neff

Narrated by Ramiz Monsef

Unabridged — 17 hours, 43 minutes

Audiobook (Digital)

$29.95
FREE With a B&N Audiobooks Subscription | Cancel Anytime
$0.00

Free with a B&N Audiobooks Subscription | Cancel Anytime

START FREE TRIAL

Already Subscribed? 

Sign in to Your BN.com Account


Listen on the free Barnes & Noble NOOK app


Related collections and offers

FREE

with a B&N Audiobooks Subscription

Or Pay $29.95

Overview

An unforgettable, high-stakes, laugh-out-loud funny novel, The Witchstone blends the merciless humor of The Good Place with the spellbinding fantasy of Neil Gaiman's American Gods.

Meet Laszlo, eight-hundred-year-old demon and Hell's least productive Curse Keeper. From his office beneath Midtown, he oversees the Drakeford Curse, which involves a pathetic family upstate and a mysterious black monolith. It's a sexy enough assignment-colonial origins, mutating victims, et cetera-but Laszlo has no interest in maximizing the curse's potential; he'd rather sunbathe in Ibiza, quaff martinis, and hustle the hustlers on Manhattan's subway. Unfortunately, his division has new management, and Laszlo's ratings are so abysmal that he's given six days to shape up or he'll be melted down and returned to the Primordial Ooze.

Meet Maggie Drakeford, nineteen-year-old Curse Bearer. All she's ever known is the dreary corner of the Catskills where the Drakeford Curse has devoured her father's humanity and is rapidly laying claim to her own. The future looks hopeless, until Laszlo appears at the Drakeford farmhouse one October night and informs them that they have six days-and six days only-to break the spell before it becomes permanent. Can Maggie trust the glib and handsome Laszlo? Of course not. But she also can't pass up an opportunity to save her family, even if it means having a demon as a guide ...

Thus begins a breakneck international adventure that takes our unlikely duo from a hot dog stand in Central Park to the mountains of Liechtenstein. As the clock ticks down, tough-as-nails Maggie and conniving Laszlo will uncover a secret so profound that what began as a farcical quest to break a curse will eventually threaten the very Lords of Hell.


Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

★ 04/22/2024

YA fantasy novelist Neff (the Tapestry series) makes his adult debut with this incandescently funny glimpse of hell on Earth, starring Paul Newman look-alike and 800-year-old demon Laszlo. A Class III Curse Keeper, Laszlo’s responsible for the torment of 19-year-old human Maggie Drakeford, a plucky Catskills Curse Bearer. Maggie’s family has largely adjusted to the centuries-old curse hanging over their heads that dooms each member to transform into a horrible monster by 20. Indeed, lounge lizard Laszlo’s so ineffective at inflicting despair that his new boss gives him six days to shape up or be liquefied back into the primordial ooze from whence all demons crawl. Laszlo’s next move? To reveal himself to Maggie and offer to help her break the curse. To do so, they must free a mighty spirit locked in the legendary Witchstone. Maggie’s eager to avert her fate, but Laszlo has his own agenda, which involves both his job and his relationship with his fiendish father, Lord Baal, who is Lucifer’s top rival. Maggie and Laszlo quest across Europe and back to the Catskills amid both belly laughs and heart-tugging moments as Laszlo, aided by an Italian priest, gradually becomes more human and Maggie takes on magical energies to protect her family. The result is a glorious romp that’s clever enough to keep readers infernally entertained. (June)

Booklist

So much more than urban fantasy…A sometimes horrifying, often hilarious adventure…A good fit for readers who enjoy a healthy dose of humor with their fantasy and don’t mind a bit of body horror.”

Foreword Reviews

A raucous fantasy novel that centers otherworldly intrigue and the meaningful bonds formed between unlikely allies.”

New York Times bestselling author of Under the Nev Veronica Rossi

I was bewitched by Laszlo, the most endearingly selfish demon you’ll ever meet, and his globe-trotting adventure to unravel a complex curse. Packed with wit, adventure, and heart, The Witchstone is a tale of magic and redemption you don’t want to miss. Wicked good fun!”

#1 New York Times bestselling author of The League Alan Gratz

Christopher Moore fans, rejoice! Henry Neff has written the snark-filled, globe-trotting, feel-good, demon-curse-breaking novel you always wanted—and you don’t even have to sell your soul for it.”

award-winning author of The Game of Love and Death Martha Brockenbrough

This book reads like Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman had a demonically clever baby. So smart and inventive. Just loved it!”

New York Times bestselling author of the Heir Chro Cinda Williams Chima

There’s something about a demon, right? Especially a less than successful one like Laszlo, who—while gleefully wicked, vain, and arrogant—harbors a nascent conscience (something he would no doubt deny). Think of Crowley in Gaiman and Pratchett’s Good Omens. Better buckle in, it’s going to be a thrilling ride.”

Eoin Colfer

A rare jewel. A new classic in the fantasy genre.”

Library Journal

05/01/2024

Laszlo is an 800-year-old demon with a penchant for card games and a decided lack of ambition. He's in charge of keeping a cursed family down in the depths of despair, but after so many years, the family has gotten used to turning into monsters. Then Laszlo's boss summons him for a meeting in which he watches helplessly as his friend is turned into goo, and he's informed that his numbers aren't up to snuff. Neff's (Impyrium) latest sounds grim but it isn't, more like a Dynasty with magic. Laszlo gets a week to redeem himself, which gives the novel a tight structure that keeps up the tension. When Laszlo meets Maggie, they set off on a spirited adventure full of strange places and screwball errors. The novel brings to mind the fabulous early days of Terry Pratchett's Discworld mixed with The Office's winking sensibility. VERDICT Neff's rollicking fantasy novel is a hilarious delight, filled with fun twists and turns and a demon to root for.—Jeremiah Rood

Product Details

BN ID: 2940192605271
Publisher: Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Publication date: 06/18/2024
Edition description: Unabridged
Sales rank: 486,594
From the B&N Reads Blog

Customer Reviews