"Brims with hope, and the joy that arises when one is finally ready to step out into the world."
—OprahMag.com
"[One] of the best queer books of 2020.... This charming graphic memoir chronicles, as the titles cutely declares, the times when Eleanor Crewes’s knowledge of her gayness was unavoidable, wrapped up in her coming out and coming of age story."
—Casey Stepaniuk, Autostraddle
"This memoir in graphic form takes readers along on her journey of self-discovery with a story that's sometimes funny, sometimes poignant and always engaging."
—Tampa Bay Times
"A sweet and happy confection...Crewes's own story involves unsatisfactory romances with men, hesitant coming out, and then retreating back into the closet, but this isn't a queer narrative that ends in tragedy—we've had enough of those. It concludes with love and joy. If those are too often elusive, it's worth remembering that this isn't a fairy tale but a true story. It gets better indeed."
—Rumaan Alam, Text Message, The New Republic's books and culture newsletter
"[Among] the books that propelled the industry to new heights...noteworthy."
—Michael Cavna, The Washington Post
“Crewes' commitment to telling a not-neat story is the best thing about her great memoir... When young adult Ellie looks into a doorframe filled with five of her past selves, readers have gotten to know each one, and will fully appreciate having been let in on the journey.”
—Booklist, starred review
"Crewes’s debut graphic memoir of self-discovery traces her queer identity from youthful obsessions with Buffy the Vampire Slayer through uncomfortable dates with boys, and later girlfriends, as she comes to realize that coming out is a process more than a single point in time."
—Publisher's Weekly
“[A] a charming, accessible story about self-acceptance that everyone—especially people struggling with their sexuality—can enjoy. A heartwarming, delightful memoir of self-discovery.”
—Kirkus
"As Western culture becomes increasingly gay-friendly, Crewes's experience will—fortunately—become more and more typical. The story of her journey will be much appreciated by young people who are curious about themselves and their friends."
—Library Journal
"A touching, funny, and heartwarming story of one woman's journey to what she was meant to be."
—YALSA / The Hub
"A warm, funny, and authentic portrait of the trials, tribulations, and joys that come along with understanding oneself and coming out."
—Manhattan Book Review
“Will appeal to anyone who’s had to negotiate the awkward, thrilling, sometimes hilarious, sometimes bewildering loops and cul-de-sacs of the journey into adulthood and self-knowledge.”
—Sarah Waters, author of The Paying Guests
“Evocative, authentic, and hilarious. As a gay woman I’m constantly looking for content that feels true to my own experiences, that helps me understand myself more — in this book, I found that.”
—Tillie Walden, author of Spinning and On a Sunbeam
"A really poignant look at the fuzziness and confusions of queer life."
—Ruby Tandoh, author of Eat Up
"I wanted to shout 'I felt like that too!' so many times while reading this book - it will help so many people feel less alone. A beautifully told memoir about accepting yourself for who you are."
—Kate Davies, author of In At The Deep End
“Beautiful — I cried and couldn't stop reading. A wonderful inspiration.”
—Sara Quin, of Tegan and Sara
“Candid, so funny, and super relatable. Perfectly captures all of the confusing, complex, scary, and euphoric realizations in coming to terms with your sexuality."
—Alice Oseman, author of Heartstopper
“Ellie Crewes's honesty should be applauded in quietly and succinctly challenging a social obsession with trying to fit people's sexual identities into restrictive categories.”
—Nicola Streeten, author of Billy, Me & You
“In this charming, funny comic, Crewes traces the moments she realised she might be gay, from her holy communion to her first date with a woman. She describes the “burst of life” she feels when she comes out once and for all – and the regret that it has taken her so long.”
—Kate Davies, The Guardian, "Top Ten Books About Coming Out"
"Navigating one’s own relation to the world has never been simple, but Crewes’s deftly drawn lines don’t divide her from the norm, they place her lovingly within its problematic embrace."
—Jenny Robins, The Quietus
“Witty, poignant, and beautifully observed.”
—Andy Oliver, Broken Frontier
12/18/2020
DEBUT Caught in the traction of a permissive heterosexual upbringing, Crewes enjoyed being different for her love of goth, horror, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and she found compatible friends. All along, she assumed she would segue into a future with boys and men in her heart. But her attraction to guys never took root emotionally or physically, even as she became more aware of the queer culture all around at her British art school. Unsure of her own orientation, her coming out as lesbian proceeded in start-stop stages over several years. She did not have to fight her way through family and societal pushback, but rather through her own ideas and expectations. Crewes draws with a graphite pencil in evocative, smooth sweeps, giving the feel of an on-the-scene sketchbook. Originally released as a hand-stitched zine, the memoir was expanded and reworked into this charming, relatable account. VERDICT As Western culture becomes increasingly gay-friendly, Crewes's experience will—fortunately—become more and more typical. The story of her journey will be much appreciated by young people who are curious about themselves and their friends.—Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
2020-07-21
A London-based illustrator’s graphic memoir of embracing her sexual orientation.
“Growing up,” writes Crewes, “I felt like I had a secret deep inside of me.” As an adolescent, she “liked Goths, rock music, and anything spooky,” and she became “obsessed” with Willow, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer character who later came out as gay. In secondary school, the author began to feel the pressure to assimilate. Like the girls she eventually befriended, Crewes paired off with boys, especially those with whom she shared common interests such as anime and manga. By the time she was 16 and in a “real relationship,” Crewes felt emotionally and physically unable to have sex with her boyfriend. After they broke up, the author decided that it was time to “reinvent myself.” She began a diet and exercise regimen to make herself “cooler.” Only much later did she realize her efforts served as a “subconscious way to redirect myself from the fact that I was gay.” She made her first attempt at coming out during her first year of university only to return to “heteronormativity” the next day. Two years later she came out “another four times,” all while navigating a messy path through heterosexual relationships and counseling for mysterious panic attacks. “ ‘Coming out’ is frequently described as a definitive and singular thing,” she writes. “But it didn’t happen like that for me.” When Crewes definitively came out, “I felt like I’d been washed clean.” Yet as she discovered, the journey of learning about queer culture and finding a fulfilling relationship had only begun. Crewes presents a spare primary narrative that she fleshes out using comic book–style line drawings to illustrate characters and episodes. The end result is a charming, accessible story about self-acceptance that everyone—especially people struggling with their sexuality—can enjoy.
A heartwarming, delightful memoir of self-discovery.
