The Tao of Ordinariness: Humility and Simplicity in a Narcissistic Age

by Robert J. Wicks

Overview

This book is an invitation to come home to your authentic self in a world that is frequently mesmerized by "spin," narcissism, fantasy, and exhibitionism. Psychology and classic wisdom literature have, in various ways, long recognized the value for simply becoming who you are (i.e., ordinariness). However, this call is becoming increasingly drowned out by the many other voices that emphasize publicity and image-making over authenticity and humility. Renowned therapist and author Robert Wicks has written The Tao of Ordinariness as a way of beginning to address these tendencies in contemporary society.

In this new countercultural work, the strength and joy of exploring who you are - and proceeding to share yourself with others in a way that they too can reclaim themselves - is revisited from a range of vantage points. The author specifically reexamines themes of humility, simplicity, letting go, self-awareness, "alonetime," resilience, and mentoring. In an era when people increasingly measure self-worth by external measures, such as the number of likes and views and followers on social media feeds (which have many individuals chasing impossible fantasies and living with a constant fear of "missing out"), Wicks offers a return to your authentic self.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780190937171
Publisher:	Oxford University Press
Publication date:	10/01/2019
Pages:	240
Sales rank:	1,127,391
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Robert J. Wicks, who received his doctorate in psychology from Hahnemann Medical College and Hospital, is Professor Emeritus at Loyola University Maryland. He has published more than 50 books for professionals and the general public, including Night Call: Embracing Compassion and Hope in a Troubled World (Oxford University Press, 2018); Perspective: The Calm within the Storm (Oxford University Press, 2014); and Bounce: Living the Resilient Life (Oxford University Press, 2010). Dr. Wicks has lectured on the importance of resilience, self-care, and maintaining a healthy perspective in Hanoi, Beijing, Port au Prince, Johannesburg, Phnom Penh, and Budapest as well as at the Mayo Clinic, Yale School of Nursing, Harvard's Children's Hospital and Harvard Divinity School, the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, the U.S. Air Force Academy, on Capitol Hill to Members of Congress and their Chiefs of Staff, and most recently in Beirut to persons living and working in Aleppo, Syria. He has also served on the faculty of Bryn Mawr College's Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research and received the Humanitarian of the Year Award from the American Counseling Association's Division on Spirituality, Ethics, and Values. In 2006, he was recipient of the first annual Alumni Award for Excellence in Professional Psychology from Widener University.

Table of Contents

Epigraph xi

Introduction: Coming Home to Yourself 1

Gateways to Ordinariness

1 An Elusive Companion Virtue: Humility 23

2 Travel Lightly: Simplicity and Letting Go 53

3 The Unrecognizable You: Addressing the Reputation You Currently Have With Yourself 80

4 Becoming "Sea-Kindly": Living with Greater Patience, Perseverance, and a Willingness to Fail 112

5 Mentors in Ordinariness: Experiencing Authenticity in Practice 138

6 Alonetime: Embracing Spaces Conducive to the Process of Self-Uncovering and Re-Discovering 164

Epilogue: Returning Home to Yourself … Again 185

Notes 203

Sources Cited 207

About the Author 213

Index 217

Editorial Reviews

"Wicks persuasively engages anecdotes from personal experience and from literature to illustrate the impact of seeking authenticity, for oneself and others, by learning and being who we are. In today's environment, it is easy for individuals to get lost in aspiring or responding to unrealistic expectations, suggestions, or goals as painted by social media. Wicks counsels readers to have the courage to "confront unhelpful external influences" by embracing ordinariness and "modeling" a "lack of egoism in one's interpersonal relations," such that others may also be encouraged to become more fully themselves. Overall, the book is an easy read that nonetheless delivers a vitally important message. Although it would be a good supplementary text for some college courses, it is also potentially engaging and enlightening for the everyday reader." — M. Hawthorne, Louisiana State University at Shreveport, CHOICE

"In the chaos of our modern world, Robert Wicks elucidates the concepts of humility, simplicity, courage, and persistence as integral strategies to achieving inner peace. The Tao of Ordinariness provides a roadmap for achieving clarity and acceptance of the uniqueness of self as a pathway to contentment and resilience. This is a welcome recipe as many of us struggle with ambiguity, uncertainty, and the pressures of modern life." —Patricia Davidson, PhD, MEd, RN, FAAN, Dean, School of Nursing, Johns Hopkins University

"So much energy is wasted on seeking to be someone or something we are not, but in this engaging and entertaining book, Robert Wicks shows us the importance of being who we are. Bringing over forty years of clinical experience in helping others, and with wit and wisdom garnered from literature, philosophy, and psychology, this book is a great guide for everyone seeking to explore the possibilities within themselves." —Stephen Joseph, PhD, Author, Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters

"Learning to accept what life hands us may be our biggest challenge. The Tao of Ordinariness is a wise and timely reminder that being ordinary means living the truth of who we are by facing life just as it is." —Cheryl Giles, PsyD, Francis Greenwood Peabody Senior Lecturer on Pastoral Care and Counseling; Core Faculty, Buddhist Ministry Initiative, Harvard Divinity School

"Robert Wicks takes us on an important journey-one of enlightenment and deep learning (and unlearning), if only we are open to listening, seeing, feeling, and experiencing what he shares with us. By peeling back the layers of interference from the world we have lived in and been influenced by, Wicks guides everybody who seeks the answers within. For all those who are open to embracing this process, this book opens the door to an important journey that can lead us to the happiness, contentment, and wholeness we each seek." —Jeffrey E. Barnett, PsyD, ABPP, Past President, Psychotherapy Division, American Psychological Association; Co-editor, Handbook of Private Practice: Keys to Success for Mental Health Practitioners

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