The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings In The Ways Of Relationships

by Sobonfu Some

Overview

"This is a teacher who can help us put together so many things that our modern Western world has broken." —Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple

A renowned, respected teacher and mentor to thousands, Sobonfu Somi is one of the first and foremost voices of African spirituality to come to the West.

Somi was born in Dano, Burkina Faso, a remote West African village with a population of about two hundred people. Dano has preserved the old ways of African village life, with family structures, spiritual practices, and methods of living that have been in place for more than ten thousand years. In The Spirit of Intimacy, Somi distills the ancient teachings and wisdom of her native village to give insight into the nature of intimate relationships.

Somi generously applies the subtle knowledge from her West African culture to this one. Simply and beautifully, she reveals the role of spirit in every marriage, friendship, relationship, and community. She shares ancient ways to make our intimate lives more fulfilling and secure and offers powerful insights into the "illusion of romance," divorce, and loss. Her important and fascinating lessons from the heart include the sacred meaning of pleasure, preparing a ritual space for intimacy, and the connection between sex and spirituality. Her ideas are intuitively persuasive, provocative, and healing—and supported by sound practical advice, along with specific rituals and ceremonies based on those used for thousands of years.

With this book, the spiritual insights of indigenous Africa take their place alongside those of native America, ancient Europe, and Asia as important influences on Western readers.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780688175795
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	01/05/2000
Edition description:	1ST QUILL
Pages:	160
Sales rank:	202,985
Product dimensions:	5.00(w) x 7.00(h) x 0.40(d)

About the Author

Sobonfu Somé, whose name means "keeper of ritual," was born and raised in Burkina Faso, the former Upper Volta. She is an initiated member of the Dagara tribe of West Africa. Sobonfu and her husband, Malidoma Somé, teach the ancient wisdom of their tribe throughout the world.

Read an Excerpt

A Song of Spirit

Intimacy in general terms is a song of spirit inviting two people to come and share their spirit together. It is a song that no one can resist. We hear it while awake or sleeping, in community or alone. We cannot ignore it.

The Embrace of Community

Community is the spirit, the guiding light of the tribe, whereby people come together in order to fulfill a specific purpose, to help others fulfill their purpose, and to take care of one another. The goal of the community is to make sure that each member of the community is heard and is properly giving the gifts he has brought to this world. Without this giving, the community dies. And without the community, the individual is left without a place where he can contribute. The community is that grounding place where people come and share their gifts and receive from others.

Born to a Purpose

When two people are married and have built an intimate relationship, there is a desire that they make themselves available for other souls to come through, that they create a safe and sacred space for spirits who want to bring their gifts and fulfill their purpose.And so people in our village would say that children do not belong completely to the parents who gave them birth. They have used their parents' bodies to come through, but they belong to the community and to the spirit.

Initiation: Gaining Knowledge

In our village, children learn about intimacy and ritual from birth onward. As they mature, it becomes crucial that they develop a profound understanding of these matters. At initiation, elders guide the young deeper into intimacy, sexuality, and ritual so that they know what isawaiting them. They do not just wander into the unknown territory of adulthood and get wounded.

Marriage: Two Worlds Together

Marriage is two souls coming into one soul — still distinct but forming one entity. It is a way of bringing two people's gifts together in order to strengthen them and make them even better. It acknowledges that two people are embarking on something bigger than them and bigger than the tribe.

Conflict: A Spirit Gift

Conflict grows out of challenges that are presented by spirit. It is a gift, meant to help us move forward. It is through conflict that we gain knowledge of ourselves and learn new situations for using our own gifts.

Editorial Reviews

"With a generous and tender heart, Sobonfu Somé holds out her hand. From her extended palm, she offers simply stated pearls—mined from the wisdom and lives of her West African Dagara village elders, brothers, and sisters—about the importance of a living, breathing, continual connection with spirit and community; about the ways to experience a genuine intimacy with life itself." — Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD, author of Women Who Run with the Wolves

"There's much wisdom about relationship here. Sobonfu Somé generously applies subtle knowledge from her West African culture to this one. Simply to read what she has to say—about community, ritual, marriage, and intimacy—is to find something fresh and healthy for one's own life." — Robert Bly, author of Iron John

"This book is a timely and timeless gift. It is sweet with wisdom, bright with intelligence, and rich with revelations of the role of spirit in every marriage, friendship, and community." — Michael Meade, author of Men and the Water of Life

From the Publisher