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Overview
The book compiles the best of the short real-life confessions from sailors from Yachting Monthly's Confessions feature, many of them illustrated by original cartoons. These cautionary tales are arranged into themed chapters, for the amusement and edification of readers.
Worse things happen at sea, so the saying goes. This book relates the embarrassing blunders and shameful shenanigans of real sailors to whom the worst did happen. Even in a world of satellite navigation and social media, shipwrecks, collisions, getting stuck in the toilet and cases of mistaken identity can and do happen. They remain hidden until the skipper can bear the guilt no longer and must unburden their souls. The resulting stories are outrageously funny, while allowing the rest of us to thank our stars it wasn't us and to learn from others' mistakes.
The Yachting Monthly Confessional has been offering absolution for almost half a century. This hilarious collection is the cream of the crop from the last few years, illustrated by the brilliant cartoons of Bill Caldwell, and deserves a place on every sailor's bookshelf as the definitive guide of what not to do at sea!
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781399402866 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Bloomsbury Publishing |
| Publication date: | 09/15/2022 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 128 |
| File size: | 10 MB |
About the Author
Theo Stocker is editor of Yachting Monthly and an experienced sailor.
Table of Contents
1 Pomp, Circumstance and Love: Inflated egos get popped quickly at sea 13
Just a little more air Roger Cooke 14
Peace shattered Richard Morris 15
Shoe disposal service Craig Robinson 15
A French delicacy Patrick Hurd 16
Fender thieves Brian Hewitt 17
Wedding thriller Robert Cave 17
Sealed with a kiss Colin Duce 18
Dinghy disaster Simon Walsh 19
Circle of shame Tom Mullarkey 20
Close encounter Christopher Beaumont-Hutchings 20
Do you need a wally? Alex Maioru 21
Better to keep quiet Hamish Wills 22
You've been framed Ian Burton 23
Caught out on camera Roy Sheriff 24
Let me demonstrate! David Sannella 24
Knot tested Sir Robin Knox-Johnston 25
Local sights Dermot Cox 26
Teaching aid Paul Fearn 26
2 Rookie Errors: The beginners' mistakes we wish we didn't have to make 28
Asleep with the fishes Ed Beard 29
Wind in your sails Liz Carter 30
Jumping for joy Angela Chapman 30
Dazzling sunglasses Bill Gray 31
So long, silverware Simon Ransome-Williams 31
Water ingress FM Aalbersberg 32
Racing pedigree Rob Nicholls 33
Boating lingo Malcolm Kent 33
You say throw, I throw Paul Russell 34
Magic carpets Alan Douglas 35
Diesel dilemma Harold Flannery 36
Feeling a jerk Bill Gray 36
3 Navigation Nonsense: Finding your way is far from plain sailing 37
Sprightly septuagenarian Anton Pruden 38
Pass the biscuits Ella Walsworth-Bell 39
A foggy memory Peter Adeline 40
Fire, fire! Piers Pisani 40
A Fyne cock-up Stewart May 41
Unlucky strike David Beattie 42
Honk like you mean it Terrence Kearney 42
Doing the time warp Martin Lampard 43
Aerobatic signal Alan Wilson 44
Not a tanker Tommi Jokiniemi 45
Overly helpful sailor Simon Vage 45
Into the blue Kay 'Jay J' Bommer 46
4 To Motor or Not to Motor: We didn't need the engine anyway! 47
International incident Edward Sutton 48
Seagull serenade Chris West 49
A well-mown carpet Richard Clutterbuck 49
What a cock-up! John Soloman 50
Just don't stop Chris Hanson 51
Temperamental outboard Glenn Johnstone 51
Cherbourg reverse Brian Clements 53
Who needs a propeller? Don Fitzroy-Smith 53
A wheelie bin disaster David Hilton 54
Singing prop Julian Brown 55
Oil mishap Colin Flood 55
5 High and Dry: When the boat just won't float 57
Hull-deep in mud Robin Hunter 58
Ready, steady, stop! Susie Mellers 59
A silver lining Gordon Fyfe 59
Road block James Deasley 60
Ahh, it'll be fine! Don Fitzroy Smith 61
Breakfast with a bump George DuBose 62
Fruits de mer Keith May 62
Watch your units Andreas Fallaschinski 64
6 Family Fiascos: Dramas with our nearest and dearest 65
Tin cans needed Ed Crosse 66
Doing a runner David Pick 67
Service with a woof! Beryl Chalmers 67
Push me pull you Phillip Cave 68
Bottoms up Brian North 69
Mum's the word Timothy Long 70
A lesson in siphoning Thomas Robinson 71
Strangers in the night Ray Lupton 72
Don't forget your crew Matthew Diggle 72
A little voice Sylvie Dubois-Marshall 73
A humble apology Colin Langford 74
7 A Close Shave: How did they get away with it? 75
Going up in the world James Frost 76
A shared teaspoon Simon Temple 77
Mast mishap Harry Blathwayt 77
A wheel of a time Simon James 78
MOB finale Rob Whelan 79
Locker legs Paul Clarke 80
Dress for the occasion Michael Davy 81
A sinking feeling Liz Saunders 81
Holding on Eilef J Gard 83
Almost a muddy end Richard Hope-Hawkins 84
A skipper's prerogative Terry Kemmann-Lane 85
Use your head Martin Doxey 86
Whale spotting Alistair Yeaman 86
8 Dinghy Disasters: Bigcock-ups in small boats 88
Nothing to see here Bill Brimble 89
Learning the hard way Simon Lund 90
Flyaway dinghy Susie Potter 90
Knot withstanding Mike Howard 91
Romance in the rain Peter Solly 92
The submersible dinghy Nick Johnstone 93
Tender loving care Lesley Black 94
Still waters Andrew Robinson 96
Without a paddle Tim Bultitude 96
Too slippery by half Jack Handley 97
Lobster pot tango Oliver L Shaw 98
Captain Underpants Mark Cherrill 99
9 Mooring Mayhem: Getting tied up in knots 100
Off the wall Leonie Steer 101
Ignore at your peril Therese Labos 102
High and dry Huw Gibby 103
Don't pull that plug! William H. Holliday 104
Newton's third law of motion Christopher Hill 104
Prop walk lessons Rob Ward 105
Something to ponder Mike Thornton 106
Sink or swim Ron Stoddart 106
Tied up in knots Kevin West 108
Ice-cream distraction Kelly Rashleigh 108
Dragging to windward Keith Greenfield 109
A sideways two-step Don Fitzroy Smith 110
10 The Cover of Darkness: Embarrassing episodes the night can't hide 111
Blinded by the light Peter Rolt 112
How'd that happen? Graham Hughes 113
Brightlingsea lights Sarah O'Reilly 113
What is that? Liza Dodds 114
Moonshine Christopher Smith 115
On the gas George DuBose 115
Rude awakening Philip Cave 116
Fog off Roscoff Peter Kersey 117
The big sleep Richard Pearce 117
11 Toilet Humour: We shouldn't laugh, but… 119
Nappy hooligan Terrence Kearney 120
A drop in the bucket Kurt Jewson 121
The critical moment Chris Mardon 121
Bonnet de Douche Richard Avent 122
Soaked through John Tylor 123
The porcelain shrine Paul Hough 124
A messy business Oliver L Shaw 124
Morse code rescue Geoff Evans 125
Neighbourly swap Peter Guinan 126
Black tea, please Peter Reid 127
Morse code release Oscar O'Sullivan 127