The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias

by Dolly Chugh, Laszlo Bock (Foreword by)

Overview

“Finally: an engaging, evidence-based book about how to battle biases, champion diversity and inclusion, and advocate for those who lack power and privilege. Dolly Chugh makes a convincing case that being an ally isn’t about being a good person—it’s about constantly striving to be a better person.”  —Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B with Sheryl Sandberg

Foreword by Laszlo Bock, the bestselling author of Work Rules! and former Senior Vice President of People Operations at Google

An inspiring guide from Dolly Chugh, an award-winning social psychologist at the New York University Stern School of Business, on how to confront difficult issues including sexism, racism, inequality, and injustice so that you can make the world (and yourself) better.

Many of us believe in equality, diversity, and inclusion. But how do we stand up for those values in our turbulent world? The Person You Mean to Be is the smart, "semi-bold" person’s guide to fighting for what you believe in.

Dolly reveals the surprising causes of inequality, grounded in the "psychology of good people". Using her research findings in unconscious bias as well as work across psychology, sociology, economics, political science, and other disciplines, she offers practical tools to respectfully and effectively talk politics with family, to be a better colleague to people who don’t look like you, and to avoid being a well-intentioned barrier to equality. Being the person we mean to be starts with a look at ourselves.

She argues that the only way to be on the right side of history is to be a good-ish— rather than good—person. Good-ish people are always growing. Second, she helps you find your "ordinary privilege"—the part of your everyday identity you take for granted, such as race for a white person, sexual orientation for a straight person, gender for a man, or education for a college graduate. This part of your identity may bring blind spots, but it is your best tool for influencing change. Third, Dolly introduces the psychological reasons that make it hard for us to see the bias in and around us. She leads you from willful ignorance to willful awareness. Finally, she guides you on how, when, and whom, to engage (and not engage) in your workplaces, homes, and communities. Her science-based approach is a method any of us can put to use in all parts of our life.

Whether you are a long-time activist or new to the fight, you can start from where you are. Through the compelling stories Dolly shares and the surprising science she reports, Dolly guides each of us closer to being the person we mean to be.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062692146
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	09/04/2018
Pages:	320
Sales rank:	48,580
Product dimensions:	6.30(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Dr. Dolly Chugh is a Harvard educated, award-winning social psychologist at the NYU Stern School of Business, where she is an expert in the unconscious biases and unethical behavior of ordinary, good people.

Table of Contents

Foreword Laszlo Bock ix

Preface xvii

Introduction: Good-ish People 1

Part 1 Builders Activate a Growth Mindset

Chapter 1 Stumbling Upward 23

Chapter 2 One of the "Good Guys" 44

Chapter 3 If You Are Not Part of the Problem, You Cannot Be Part of the Solution 59

Part II Builders See and Use Their Ordinary Privilege

Chapter 4 Knowing It When You Don't See It 87

Chapter 5 The Power of Ordinary Privilege 111

Part III Builders Opt for Willful Awareness

Chapter 6 Keep Your Eyes Open, Anyway 129

Chapter 7 Look Out for These Four "Good" Intentions 143

Part IV Builders Engage

Chapter 8 Be Inclusive 167

Chapter 9 Steer the Conversation 183

Chapter 10 Educate and Occasionally Confront Others 205

Chapter 11 Show Meaningful Support 225

Acknowledgments 243

Notes 249

Index 271

Editorial Reviews

07/30/2018
Chugh, an associate professor at the NYU Stern School of Business, offers practical advice on being aware of bias, diversity, oppression, and privilege, and on acting intentionally on that awareness in everyday life, in this helpful guidebook. The author advances thoughtfully through four major themes: “activating the growth mindset,” “seeing the ordinary privilege,” “opting for willful awareness,” and “engaging the people and systems around us.” Humility is the touchstone of Chugh’s approach. She is not afraid to illustrate lessons with her own missteps, as when she met a transgender activist who “did all the work to make me less ignorant, when that should have been my job.” Similarly, she recounts her indignant reaction to an offensive joke made at a wedding dinner by another guest as an example of what not to do. Elsewhere, she mines the latest in social scientific research for practical suggestions. After reporting one study in which “researchers found that almost none of the white mothers discussed race with their children (ages 4-5),” she dispenses advice to parents on how to point out imbalances in representation to their children. In addition to providing a road map for individuals, this book would serve as an excellent training tool for institutional diversity programs, whether to enlighten new supervisors or to accompany diversity workshops. (Sept.)

Publishers Weekly

Finally: an engaging, evidence-based book about how to battle biases, champion diversity and inclusion, and advocate for those who lack power and privilege. Dolly Chugh makes a convincing case that being an ally isn’t about being a good person—it’s about constantly striving to be a better person.” — Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B with Sheryl Sandberg

“Dolly Chugh helps us identify our ‘platform of privilege’ and guides us on how we can use this and other tools to create positive change. She encourages us to accentuate our strengths and to manage our weaknesses, and forces us to focus on being better and stronger in everything we do.” — Billie Jean King, social justice pioneer and tennis champion

“Dolly Chugh has written the most important and actionable book on reducing bias that I have read. Using powerful and enduring findings from research on bias, she explains the reasons we fail to be the person we mean to be and provides prescriptions for managing the pitfalls of our humanness. This deeply personal book is a must-read.”
— David Thomas, president of Morehouse College and author of Leading for Equity and Breaking Through

“Dolly Chugh applies the power of a growth mindset to work on equity and inclusion at a time when it is much-needed. The Person You Mean to Be is essential reading.” — Carol Dweck, bestselling author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

“This is a book for anyone who thinks of themselves as a pretty decent human being but who knows, deep in their heart, they could be better. A cocktail of stories and science that gets you thinking and, more important, gets you acting.” — Angela Duckworth, founder and CEO of Character Lab, and author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

“In authoritative yet accessible prose, social psychologist Dolly Chugh outlines how we can all make the indispensable shift from being ‘believers’ who live under the ideal of inclusion to being ‘builders’ who live up to that ideal. This book is both guide and gift.” — Kenji Yoshino, author of Speak Now: Marriage Equality on Trial; Chief Justice Earl Warren Professor of Constitutional Law, NYU School of Law

“Never has an author made it so easy to see our blind spots and the downsides of our best intentions. Dolly Chugh’s brilliant lens reveals the invisible, uncomfortable truths of ordinary privilege, yet offers a light that inspires and guides each of us to be the moral, inclusive leader we hope to be.” — Liz Wiseman, New York Times bestselling author of Multipliers and Rookie Smarts

From the Publisher

Dolly Chugh helps us identify our ‘platform of privilege’ and guides us on how we can use this and other tools to create positive change. She encourages us to accentuate our strengths and to manage our weaknesses, and forces us to focus on being better and stronger in everything we do.

Billie Jean King

This is a book for anyone who thinks of themselves as a pretty decent human being but who knows, deep in their heart, they could be better. A cocktail of stories and science that gets you thinking and, more important, gets you acting.

Angela Duckworth

Dolly Chugh has written the most important and actionable book on reducing bias that I have read. Using powerful and enduring findings from research on bias, she explains the reasons we fail to be the person we mean to be and provides prescriptions for managing the pitfalls of our humanness. This deeply personal book is a must-read.”

David Thomas

In authoritative yet accessible prose, social psychologist Dolly Chugh outlines how we can all make the indispensable shift from being ‘believers’ who live under the ideal of inclusion to being ‘builders’ who live up to that ideal. This book is both guide and gift.

Kenji Yoshino

Finally: an engaging, evidence-based book about how to battle biases, champion diversity and inclusion, and advocate for those who lack power and privilege. Dolly Chugh makes a convincing case that being an ally isn’t about being a good person—it’s about constantly striving to be a better person.

Adam Grant

Never has an author made it so easy to see our blind spots and the downsides of our best intentions. Dolly Chugh’s brilliant lens reveals the invisible, uncomfortable truths of ordinary privilege, yet offers a light that inspires and guides each of us to be the moral, inclusive leader we hope to be.

Liz Wiseman

In a clear, steady voice, narrator Soneela Nankani echoes the practicality and encouragement of the theme of this audiobook—we are all works in progress capable of “good-ishness.” Drawing from current research and in-depth interviews, social psychologist Dolly Chugh offers an incisive and accessible guide for becoming a more inclusive and aware person. The point isn't perfection (goodness with a capital “G”); it's continued growth in our awareness that leads to more equitable and just interactions. Importantly, Nankani moves with ease between first- and third-person narration as the author's personal experiences often illustrate scientific concepts that are further explained with research data. Listeners looking for specific, helpful instruction on how to counter bias will find much to consider. A.S. © AudioFile 2019, Portland, Maine

JUNE 2019 - AudioFile

In a clear, steady voice, narrator Soneela Nankani echoes the practicality and encouragement of the theme of this audiobook—we are all works in progress capable of “good-ishness.” Drawing from current research and in-depth interviews, social psychologist Dolly Chugh offers an incisive and accessible guide for becoming a more inclusive and aware person. The point isn't perfection (goodness with a capital “G”); it's continued growth in our awareness that leads to more equitable and just interactions. Importantly, Nankani moves with ease between first- and third-person narration as the author's personal experiences often illustrate scientific concepts that are further explained with research data. Listeners looking for specific, helpful instruction on how to counter bias will find much to consider. A.S. © AudioFile 2019, Portland, Maine

JUNE 2019 - AudioFile