Table of Contents
Part I The Plan
1 Delta Bravo 3
2 It's Not Switzerland 6
3 Lady Gaga 12
4 "Intimidated by the Crowd" 18
5 Arc de Trimphe 24
6 "A Violent Act" 33
7 On the X 40
8 The A-Team 45
9 "Bite Me" 51
10 The Photo Op 55
11 Totally Shit-Faced 59
12 "Dead Silence" 67
13 The Horror, the Horror 72
14 We're Actually Losing 78
15 Petraeus Can't Do Afghanistan, and We Aren't Going to Get Bin Laden 85
16 The Elections, Part I 94
17 Texts to Berlin 100
18 The Elections, Part II 102
19 Team America Rolls the Ritz 108
20 On Principle 116
21 Spies Like Us 121
22 "I'm President. I Don't Give a Shit What They Say" 129
23 The Strategy 137
24 "Let Me Be Clear" 149
25 Worshipping the Gods of Beer 153
26 Who Is Stanley McChrystal? Part I, 1954-1976 158
27 "The Jerk in Green" 165
28 Who Is Stanley McChrystal? Part II, 1976-Present Day 171
29 Reality Checks In 176
Part II Interlude: Dubai 183
Part III Afghanistan
30 A Short History of a Horrible Idea 201
31 Bad Romance 210
32 President Karzai Has a Cold 226
33 An E-mail Exchange: Come Walk in Our Boots 232
34 A Boy Born in 1987 235
35 Where Is Israel Arroyo? 240
36 Ingram's House 254
37 An Army of None 267
38 In the Arena 276
39 "I Didn't Even Know We Were Fighting There" 284
40 The Concluding Converations with Duncan Boothby, General Petraeus Face-Plants in Congress, and the Story Breaks While I Watch American Helicopter Pilots Kill Insurgents 290
Part IV The Graceful Exit
41 "Very, Very Bad" 313
42 The Pentagon Investigates McChrystal 324
43 The Media-Military-Industrial Complex 328
44 I'd Rather Be Eating a Burger 331
45 Once Upon a Time in Kandahar 336
46 King David's War 344
47 "Tourism, Not Terrorism" 350
48 Petraeus Does Body Counts 354
49 The New Afghanistan 360
50 Joe Biden Is Right 368
Epilogue: Someday, This War's Gonna End 376
Source Notes 381