The Myth of Maturity: What Teenagers Need from Parents to Become Adults

by Terri Apter

Overview

"Parents and young adults alike should benefit from the advice in Apter's insightful book."—Washington Post

What do young people at the threshold of adulthood really need and want? Why do so many responsible and motivated teenagers become young adults who are still dependent, financially and emotionally, on their parents? Why are many young people today so quick to leave childhood behind, but so slow to become adults? In this wise and compassionate book, Terri Apter debunks outdated and misguided ideas about maturity: Acting in the name of love, many parents withdraw emotional or practical support, thinking it best for a son or daughter to solve his or her own problems—even to suffer alone the consequences of mistakes. Apter shows us that young adults actually need a parent's guidance and support, while also requiring respect and independence. Based on carefully observed case studies and current research, this book describes how we can support young people through a crucial stage in their development.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780393323177
Publisher:	Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
Publication date:	06/17/2002
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	290
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and retired Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge. Her ten books include The Sister Knot, Difficult Mothers, and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.

Table of Contents

	Introduction: Life on One's Own	15
1	First Solo Flight	37
2	Forming Identities	69
3	Making Choices	93
4	Emotional Educations	118
5	The Pressure of Great Expectations	152
6	Foothold in the Adult World	176
7	Thresholders on the Fast Track	194
8	Shortcuts to Maturity: Thresholder Marriages	208
9	Thresholders in a Material World: Managing Money	224
10	Closing the Door: Suicide and Self-Harm during the Threshold Years	238
11	Crossing the Threshold	254
	Endnotes	269
	Index	281

Editorial Reviews

Parents and young adults alike should benefit from the advice in Apter's insightful book.

Washington Post

"[E]xtremely sensible advice to parents and young adults about what they can do to temper often problematic transitions to adulthood."

Yorick Blumenfeld

"[Apter] offers important guidelines for mothers and fathers, indicating the pitfalls and pleasures of this crucial transition."

Lynn Ponton

"[A]n insightful and compelling view of how parents can provide what the emerging adult needs to bloom."

Ruthellen Josselson

"I wish I'd had this book when I was bringing up my own youngsters—and when I was a teen."

Judith Michael