Read an Excerpt
The Myopia and Other Plays by David Greenspan
By Marc Robinson The University of Michigan Press
Copyright © 2012 Marc Robinson
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-472-07173-9
CHAPTER 1
The HOME Show Pieces
First produced by HOME for Contemporary Theatre and Art, New York City, from September 14 through October 1, 1988.
Doing the Beast
Character 1 David Greenspan
Too Much in the Sun
Character 3 Ron Bagden
Character 4 Kathleen Tolan
Portrait of the Artist
Character 1 David Greenspan
Character 2 Ron Bagden
The Big Tent
Character 1 Kathleen Tolan
Character 5 Ron Bagden
Character 2 Ron Bagden
Set Design by William Kennon
Lighting Design by David Bergstein
Directed by David Greenspan
The HOME Show Pieces was subsequently produced by Joseph Papp at the New York Shakespeare Festival / Public Theater, New York City, from January 1 through February 16, 1992.
The production credits were the same except for the following:
Tracey Ellis portrayed Character 4 in Too Much in the Sun and Character 1 in The Big Tent. Costumes were designed by Elsa Ward.
Synopsis
The HOME Show Pieces is a cycle of four short plays that chronicle a seven-year period in the history of their principal character. Each episode is located in a different area of "the house."
In the bedroom play, Doing the Beast, a man, masturbating in bed, is interrupted by a series of phone calls, all of which illuminate aspects of his puerile existence. The backyard play, Too Much in the Sun, is a satire in which two actors, preparing to appear in an "autobiographical work," deride and condemn the play's author for what they consider a disrespectful and unsympathetic portrait of his troubled family. In Portrait of the Artist, a little-known playwright sits on the toilet in the bathroom of his apartment, constructing fantasies of recognition and acclaim. The fourth play, The Big Tent, is located in the kitchen; in this episode, a phone conversation between the principal character and his elderly aunt links up three previously unrelated pieces, their events and characters.
Characters:
Character 1
Character 2, Character 1's lover
Character 3, an actor
Character 4, an actress
Character 5, Character 1's aunt
The same actor plays Character 1 in Doing the Beast and Portrait of the Artist. The actress playing Character 4 in Too Much in the Sun takes over the role of Character 1 in The Big Tent. A second actor plays Characters 2, 3, and 5.
Doing the Beast
[Light illuminates Character 1 getting into bed. His bed is a mattress and headboard on the floor. At the foot of his bed, right, a black rotary phone. Left of the bed, strewn on a chair, his day's clothing. He adjusts his pillows. He turns on a reading light. He picks up a book. He reads. He stops. Counts pages to end of chapter. Counts again. Reads again. Flips back one page — to refresh the memory. Turns page. Reads. He is having a difficult time concentrating — every time he readdresses himself to the book he drifts away from what he is reading. Again, counts pages to end of chapter. Drifts. Puts down book, turns over on his belly, and begins gently humping the mattress. After a while the phone rings. He stops humping, picks up.]
Character 1: Hello? Oh hi Aunt Ruth — how are you? No it's not too late. No, I go to bed late, you know, usually. No, I go to bed late. Yea. How are you? Yea. (?) I'm just doing some reading. A book. It's good. No, I've been fine — I've been — Oh no, I'm sorry, yea, I — no, I did get your call, yea, it was a busy weekend, and I had to work some — No, I worked an extra shift at the restaurant and then — it's fine, it's fine, it's fine ... it's fine, you know, it's — you know. Right — In fact, I was planning on giving you a call today but — Right — I know. How are you? Oh you did, how are they? Un huh. Un huh. Oh really. Sounds good. No, I talked to them, when was it, last week, week before? I was — no, in fact it was, yes it was last week because they talked about — I was thinking of going out maybe this summer, you know, I have to see what work is like. Oh are you — when? Oh nice. Yea, weather will be nice out there then. Un huh. Un huh.
John? He's fine, he's fine. Yea, I saw him last night, in fact, we had dinner last night. He's fine, he's fine. Un huh. Un huh. Oh, I'll tell him. No, Lisa. Lisa. Her name is Lisa. Lisa, yea. He's been seeing her, I don't know, for — I don't know, a year now. I think they met — She's nice, you know, I mean, I haven't spent that much time with her. Right, John likes her. No, that was Kay. Kay. Kay. Kay, right, Kay. She lives in New Hampshire. Right. John was seeing her — well, they were seeing each other in college. Right, then Margie — Margie was his girlfriend before Lisa. Right. Kay then Margie then Lisa. Right, he mentioned her. I didn't really know her? I never knew her.
Un huh. Un huh. Sure, when is Passover? Oh really, it's soon. Yea. No, I'd love to come out. I'll ask him. Sure, I'm sure he'd love to if he can. You know what I'll do is I'll give him a call sometime uh this week and see what's up for when is that? Un huh. Un huh. Un, I don't know. I can ask him — if she wants to come out too — sure. Yea, maybe the three of us will come out together. No, Lisa. Right, Lisa. Okay, maybe the three of us will come out — sounds good.
Yea — no — yea, I'd love to come out. Right. Well, I'll call you about — sometime later this week, how's that? Yea, let me talk to John first. Right, and Lisa. Okay. All right. Uh'm a little tired. All right. All right. All right, well thanks for calling. And I'll talk to you soon. Okay, give my love to them. Okay. Right. And thanks for calling. And I'll talk to you soon. Right. I won't. I will. Yep. Bye. Yep. Bye.
[He hangs up. Pause. He returns to humping the mattress. After a while the phone rings. He stops humping, picks up.]
Hello? Mary (!) hi hi hi hi. (A Jewish accent.) Darling, how are you? (Accent off.) I'm fine, how are you doing? (Brings phone onto bed.) Oh, yes? What's going on? Oh, right. Right. When do you leave? When do you — Yea. Yea. Are you excited? Are you excited? Yea. Yea. Yea, but I'm not — no, I'm not — I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. I'm reading. Right. I like it, it's good. I was, then I put it down — this is like — this is like the third time I'm trying to get through it. Yea. I never get past the part where ... you know where he reads his mother's letter? Right, near the beginning of the book. How are you? (Moves himself and phone back toward headboard, ultimately leaning against headboard.) I'm all right — I called because ... yea, we had a big fight how do you know? How do ... oh. No, it wasn't a big fight — it was just, you know, the usual thing. Maybe. In a way. We had dinner last night. We did see it first, we had dinner after. Horrible. It was horrible. Yes. Well, some of it was all right, it was just — I didn't like it, I never like his work anymore. Anyway, we had dinner after the movie and then, you know, we were supposed to spend the night together at my place. Right, this is last night. So we came back to my apartment and we went to bed and I wanted to make love and he just wasn't into it and I — no, I could sense that he like — it's like I'm doing everything and he's just like ... limp and — right and so I said — I said — I said — I asked him if he, you know, if you — do you — are you tired and he said no but that we could make love in the morning and I said fine and then I — Yes, he's still seeing Lisa. I know. Margie? He hasn't seen Margie in — I don't know how long. She's in New Hampshire. No, that was Kay. Right, Kay. So, anyway, so I asked him — no, well I told him, you know, it was — it's very hard for me to — Yea, and then I asked if he'd rather be with Lisa tonight. No, this is last night, right. I asked him if he'd rather be with Lisa and — I don't know I just did 'cause I could sense that he didn't want to be there. He said yes. Naw, it didn't really bother me. I mean it made me angry, it hurt me, but, you know, because he really just wasn't there, you know. They see each other every — oh, I don't know, it varies — every other night, something like that. Well, we'll spend the night together once a week, twice a week at the most. So, I asked him if he'd rather get together tomorrow, you know, tomorrow night if he was tired and — but he and Lisa had tickets for some opera something tonight, so I said — I said how about — how about on Friday, we could get together on Friday night, and he's — no he's working on Friday night and — I don't know it just made me — no, so I told him we could see each other on Saturday or Sunday if — you know, it doesn't really matter to me, and that maybe it would be better if he just went home, that he didn't have to stay, you know, I mean I told him he didn't have to stay if he didn't want to, we could see each other on the weekend because — Yea, I mean I told him he might as well just go home since he didn't really want to be there. He didn't want to make love and I wasn't — I just — I mean it's very hard for me when he doesn't want to make love and so — so — (Sudden laugh.) so, anyway, so he said maybe that would be a good idea because he needed a good night's sleep, he had a big day today, today, and that he would call me tomorrow, today, and we could arrange some time for the weekend. Right, so he left, and then, you know, well, I started to get, you know, I mean I got angry because, you know, we were supposed to spend the night together, and this is what always happens and — what do you — what do you — what do you have another call? Do you have another call? Yea, I can hold. No, I can wait. Go ahead.
(After holding.) Hi. Yea, so I — Oh, really? Oh, hi to her. Hi, hi. Oh. All right, let me — let me — let me — let me — let me let you go. You have to go. You have to go. Okay, I'll hurry. Right. So, well, I was — right, I was angry and I called, and I told him I was angry, and he — well, he didn't say much, you know, he never says much — he said — well, he said he was tired, it was late, and I asked him if I could come over and spend the night, and he said — Well, he said he really wanted to get some sleep and I said, well, you know, we had agreed to spend the night together and — I — no, but he wasn't really there. Yea, so I — no, he said I could come over and that — but that he just wanted to sleep and he didn't want to make love. Right. So I asked if we could make love in the morning. Yea, go ahead, I can hold. I can hold.
(After holding — longer.) Oh come on. (She's back.) Hi. That's all right. I — right, I asked if we could make love in the morning and — He said he didn't know and that I shouldn't come over expecting that. I was, because we were supposed to spend the night together. I mean this always happens. I know. So, well, I didn't know if I should go over there or not, and he said it was up to me but that he felt we should just wait, you know, till the weekend. I know. So then — we — right, I mean I said — well, I didn't know if it's a good idea that we see each other anymore and he said — because — it's right and I said maybe we should think about not seeing each other anymore and — and we — well, we agreed to just wait — until the weekend — and we — we hung up and then I called him back a little while later, and I said I did want to come over, and that it didn't matter to me if we made love or not. That it didn't matter to me if we made love or not, and he said it was really late — I think it was like two in the morning at this point — and that he didn't want me to come over. He didn't want me to come over. He didn't. He didn't want me to come over, and that we should just get together on the weekend. Right. I know. But we had agreed to spend the night together! Yea. No, I went over anyway. Yea, I went over. No, we didn't 'cause he didn't — he didn't want to. Not in the morning either. I know and I — We didn't talk much in the morning. He got up — he was late, because — Yea, he got up — Late, and he was — Right, it was late. It was really — And then I said we could get together Saturday night maybe, and he said he'd call me today and talk about it. No, he didn't call. He wasn't home. No, I tried him at Lisa's but they already left for the opera. Yea, I can call there. She knows. She knows. Sure. So, that's how it stands. Oh, okay. Yea, I'm okay, I'm hanging in there. Okay, I won't keep you. Well, thanks for calling. Okay. Have a good time. I'll talk to you ... you're getting back ... when? Next week is — Fine, I want to see — Right, I really want to see that. Okay, good. Great. Have a wonderful time. And I'll talk to you then. Okay, thanks for calling. Okay, I love you too. Bye.
[He pushes down the button, the receiver still at his ear. Long pause, him staring blankly out. No. He hangs up. Replaces phone. He returns to humping the mattress. After a while the phone rings. He stops humping, picks up.]
Hello? This is he. Oh, right, hello. No, it's no problem. No. Right. Okay. Thursday is good. Okay. Two-thirty is good. And — right — and let me just grab my book, can — can you hold on a sec? (He covers mouthpiece with his hand. Freeze. Uncovers mouthpiece. Speaks again to caller.) Okay, go 'head; the address is ... 413 West ... right, and that's between ... and ... okay, great. 11th floor. 413 West. Yes. And you want to hear the same scene? The same scene. (?) The same scene. Okay. I'll see you then. Oh, thank you. No problem.
[He hangs up, returns to his humping. After a while the phone rings. He stops humping, picks up.]
Hello? (A hang up.) Oh, fuck you.
[He hangs up, returns to his humping. A moment later the phone rings. He stops humping, picks up.]
Hello? Hello? Uh, what number are you trying to call? I think you have the wrong number. No. No. That's all right. Bye.
[He hangs up, returns to his humping. Humps for a while. Hold. He is thinking. He rises. He gets out of bed. Moves to clothing. Fishes through his pants — careful. Retrieves scrap of paper. Looks at scrap. Gets back in bed. Straightens cover. Sets the phone in front of him, the book beside him. Meticulous. He ruminates. He dials.]
Hello, may I speak with Chris, please. Chris, this is Frank — we — we met the other day at — Right, how are you, did I wake you? Oh, I'm sorry — why don't I — can I call you tomorrow? Oh, how about — how about ... how about on Thursday? Okay, or I'll try and get you in. Right, and you have my number? Un huh. Okay. No, it's okay, I can just — Right, I can just leave it on your machine if you're not home. I just called to say hi. And thank you for the other night. And to thank you for the other night. Okay, so I'll talk to you soon. Get a good night's sleep. Bye.
[He hangs up. Pause. He puts the scrap of paper in the book. Pause. He gets out of bed, fishes through his coat, retrieves a scrap of paper, returns to bed, picks up phone, dials.]
Hi, is this Rick? Rick, this is Frank — we met last week in front of — Right, with the bicycle. How are you doing? Did I wake you up? Oh, good. I'm fine, fine thanks. How about you? Oh, good. No, I got home fine, thanks. Yea, I enjoyed being with you. Un huh. Un huh. Un, yea, I just called to see, in fact, if you want to get together some time soon. I was thinking about seeing — Right, I mentioned that to you, right, it sounds interesting, doesn't it? Un huh. Un huh. I think it starts on Friday. Un huh. Un huh. Oh. Oh, that's great. Oh, really? No, I kind of had a suspicion. No problem. Well, maybe we can get together some time just to have dinner or something. Sure, I'd love to. Michael. Yea, or meet Michael, sure, I'd like to meet him. Okay, great. So why don't we just stay in touch. Okay. I'd love to. Oh, I will — one of these days. How long have you been seeing each other? I say how long have you two been seeing each other? Oh, really. That's great. That is so great. That is so great. Do you have another call? Do you have another call? Okay, so — Yea, I can hold.
[He places Rick's number in the book.]
Hi. Oh, okay then I won't keep you. Okay, talk to you soon. You have my number (?). Okay, you have a machine? Right. Okay, bye.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from The Myopia and Other Plays by David Greenspan by Marc Robinson. Copyright © 2012 Marc Robinson. Excerpted by permission of The University of Michigan Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
