The Men I've Almost Dated

The Men I've Almost Dated

by Lucretia Anne Ackfield
The Men I've Almost Dated

The Men I've Almost Dated

by Lucretia Anne Ackfield

Paperback

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Overview

Meet Lucretia. A witty, acutely observant, stiletto-loving writer with an unwavering belief that Mr Right is just around the corner. She just needs to overcome some questionable decision making, lackluster sexual adventures and downright bizarre male behaviour along the way.

After falling out of love and ending her 10 year marriage, Lucretia finds herself navigating a strange new world as a thirty-something single woman without a road map.

From an earth shattering moment in a car park with an intellectually stimulating stranger to being stalked in a gay bar and finding herself up a tree in a cemetery at 4.30am being attacked by angry birds, this soul-bearing memoir is equal parts heartbreaking, hilarious and astonishingly honest.

The Men I've Almost Dated is a voyeuristic, thoughtful and at times mortifying memoir about a woman who's determined to follow her heart wherever it leads, even when the road is a dead end.

Described as Bridget Jones's Diary meets Sex and the City with a dash of Eat, Pray, Love, Lucretia's story will have you cringing, laughing aloud and shaking your head with disbelief from start to finish.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780994569608
Publisher: Lucretia's Words
Publication date: 09/27/2016
Pages: 316
Product dimensions: 7.90(w) x 4.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Lucretia Ackfield is a writer, university tutor, public relations professional and intuitive mentor who loves nothing more than helping people uncover and share their stories with the world. She also still believes in love and explores her 'single reality' with a mixture of trepidation, enthusiasm and frustrated desire while also embracing her intuitive gifts and the unexpected insights they bring to her life. This interesting combination of professional, worldly and other-worldly experience makes for a fascinating, insightful, passionate and witty writer with a full-frontal sense of humour. You can find more about Lucretia, her words and mentoring programs at www.lucretiaswords.com

Table of Contents

PART 1
THE WEDDING, THE CAR PARK AND OTHER REALISATIONS 7
The Wedding 9
Under the Influence of 30 14
The Smell of Sex 24
The Departure Lounge 29
Surviving the Impact 35
'But You Were My Model For A Good
Relationship!' 40
Relationship Amnesia 48
'Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves' 52
Market Competition 64
Cyberstalking and Fairytales 75
PART 2
DYSFUNCTIONAL DATING AND OTHER DISASTERS 83
The Categories of Man 85
Mr No-Show 86
The Perpetual Flirt 91
The Newly Single Man 92
The Old Dog 94
The Serial Texter 95
The Single-Attached Man 98
The Taken Man 99
The Controlling Snake 101
The Hors De Oeuvres Man 105
The Younger Man 106
Why Men are Like Feral Cats 110
Salsa Cat 112
Shady Cat 120
Shameless Cat 122
Never-Been-Faithful Cat 123
The Dating Game 125
Online Freaksters 145
The Men I've Almost Dated 165
Never Ask A Man If He's Gay When... 188
The Sex Drought and Casual Casualties 194
PART 3
THE LESSONS OF LUCRETIA 197
The Dating Drive-through 201
He Knows What He Wants, What He Really,
Really Wants 206
Reaching Relationship Man 210
The 80/20 Rule 213
What Was I Thinking? 215
Don't Give Up Your Life For A Man 221
The Unassailable Truth: Perfection Does
Not Exist 224
The Single Advantage 226
Don't Break the Deal Breakers 233
Old Man Fear 240
Demolish the Comfort Zone 244
Break-ups Won't Kill You 249
What I Should Have Said 252
Heartbreak Recovery 256
The Goodbye Note 263
The Ex Connection 269
The Big Ex 274
EPILOGUE 283
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 287
ABOUT THE AUTHOR 291
COMING SOON 1
THE MADNESS OF LOVE 1
Can't Let Go 2
Love is a Mess 3
Leaving Only Love 7
Reunion 9
Culmination 12
The Moon and the Stars 18
Never a Dull Conversation 20
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