Table of Contents
Foreword Caitlin Meredith xi
Introduction 1
1 The Formosa Café 9
2 Abigail Folger's Smile 16
3 "Healter Skelter" 21
4 Banned-Tools of the Trade 25
5 Unfathomable Remorse 27
6 Wallet on the Beach 33
7 Mrs. Tate's Fury 37
8 Living Without Hope 40
9 Orphaned by the Holocaust 44
10 Mondo Video A-Go-Go 55
11 Disordered Thoughts and Demented Machinations 61
12 "I Felt Like a Predator" 66
13 Folie à famille 69
14 Falling in Love with Anne Frank 74
15 Everybody Can Be a Killer 82
16 "Is There Anything Worse Than Dying in Terror?" 88
17 The Empathic Brain 91
18 Unforgetting Retribution 96
19 Dues-Paying Member of the Little Wildlife Society 98
20 "They Were on a Tear" 104
21 Dreaming of Hitler 107
22 The Need for a Scapegoat 109
23 An Abiding Friend to Families of Victims 114
24 The Agony of Mothers 117
25 Homecoming Princess 122
26 A Good Soldier 126
27 Searching for a Cessna 133
28 The Metaphorical Microscope 142
29 Decoding Manson 151
30 Broken Empathy Circuit 154
31 "Leslie Is My Daughter" 160
32 Ich bin ein Jude 164
33 Bad Apples or Bad Barrel? 169
34 A Psychedelic City-State 173
35 "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo" 182
36 Micheltorena Hill 188
37 Mule Creek Prison 192
38 Every Facet of Her Mothering 202
39 A Lethal Convergence 209
40 "You Couldn't Find a Nicer Group of People" 212
41 Pat's Anger 215
42 Scapegoats-The Need to Blame 220
43 "She Did Appeal to My Humanity but I Had None to Give Her" 229
44 The Hole-in-the-Wall Gang 232
45 Heaven's Gate 238
46 A Different Pat 241
47 The Terror of Being Excluded 243
48 Hatred More Powerful Than a Mother's Love 245
49 The Shade Trees of Hollywood High 251
50 Fused Identities 255
51 A Drop of Jewish Blood 258
52 A Make-Believe Dodge 270
53 "A Damn Good Whacking" 275
54 The Swastika 278
55 Yes, She Would Kill for Him 280
56 Insatiable and Warped Need for Love 282
57 The Ultimatum 284
58 The Truth Is, the Truth Doesn't Matter 288
59 Not That Kind of Girl 299
60 We Are All Rwandan 311
61 "You Took God Away from Me" 314
62 Unforgetting, Unforgiving 320
63 "I'd Be Nice to a Stray Dog If It Needed Help" 326
64 The Mothers Who Poisoned Their Babies at Jonestown Haunt Her 331
65 Starlight Ballroom 336
Epilogue 341
Acknowledgments 349