The Longest War: A Psychotherapist's Experience of Divorce, Custody, and Power

by Catherine Harrington

Overview

As a naive freshman, Catherine meets Walter, a senior and Big Man on Campus whose sophistication, confidence, and wealth both intimidate and excite her. A three-year absentee courtship follows, during which time the idea of Walt tethers Catherine to safety. She was programmed to marry someone like him, so she ignores the warning signs that they might not be a good match. Hoping to please her mother and seeking refuge from her fraught childhood, she marries and has children with him—but the marriage doesn’t last.

Once divorced, Catherine finds herself in a war with Walt over money, and then over access to her children—and suddenly, she can no longer ignore her childhood trauma. The high stakes of her battle with her ex-husband forge her like steel, finding every vulnerability where she needs to heal. Gradually, she develops a backbone, relinquishes her trauma-induced, people-pleasing ways, and steps into her own power.

Honest and unflinching, The Longest War reminds us that there’s always a way through when we access the courage within ourselves. No matter how painful life’s difficulties, they offer us the opportunity to heal ourselves and evolve into more open, loving, compassionate people. The choice is ours.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781647426880
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	07/02/2024
Pages:	344
Product dimensions:	(w) x (h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Catherine Harrington grew up in Colorado, one generation removed from the family farm in Longmont. After graduating from Stanford University, she fell into teaching high school Spanish until she was twenty-eight, when she returned to school to become a psychotherapist. In the years that followed, she did career counseling and taught courses at UC Berkeley, supervised the clinical work of PhD candidates at the Wright Institute, and was an assistant professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington. She subsequently worked in executive search for nine years and then spent ten years as an organizational consultant. Since finishing her PhD, she has had a private psychotherapy practice. Catherine has adult children and grandchildren, and lives in the Bay Area with her husband.

Editorial Reviews

The Longest War is raw, unnerving, vulnerable, and heartbreaking. It’s a memoir that skillfully illustrates the impact of parental narcissism. Dr. Harrington has written a page turner that tells her story of childhood, divorce, parenting, and life with honesty, wisdom, and courage. Her trauma-induced pain leads her to incredible strength to overcome and heal in a way that will touch your heart and give you hope.”
—Karyl McBride, PhD, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? and Will the Drama Ever End?

“Catherine Harrington’s gripping memoir tells the story of her harrowing divorce and her fierce determination to raise her children. It’s a beautifully written testimony to a woman’s right to claim her power.”
—Ellen Sussman, New York Times best-selling author A Wedding in Provence, The Paradise Guest House, French Lessons and On a Night Like This

“In a vividly written and honest memoir, Catherine Harrington shows how coming to terms with her pain from childhood created the strength she needed to survive a long custody battle and maintain relationships with her sons. Such a path takes work and generosity.”
—Jean Dubofsky, former Justice, Colorado Supreme Court

“Dissolution of a marriage and a struggle for child custody can both try the soul and reveal one’s character, especially when the legal process becomes a civil war. Catherine’s story demonstrates the triumph of courage, maternal love, and eventual joy.”
—Sarita Camille Waite, JD, ret. attorney in family law

“Divorce is an ugly business, made harder when one partner has more power than the other. Catherine Harrinton’s ex-husband undermined her and tried to separate her from their sons. The reader can’t help but cheer Harrington on in this heartbreaking account of how she fought back—and discovered her inner strength in the process. I was deeply moved.”
—Frances Dinkelspiel, New York Times best-selling author of Tangled View and Towers of Gold

“This narrative of a true hero’s journey is harrowing, graceful, and uplifting all at once.”
—Jane Anne Staw, author of Small: The Little We Need for Happiness

“Dr. Harrington’s tale of a years-long custody dispute illustrates how money and love are irrevocably intertwined in the dissolution of a family and how wielding the power of money can become a destructive force in relationships.”
—Myra Stober, author of Sharing the Work and coauthor of Money and Love

From the Publisher