The Kidney Hypothetical: Or How to Ruin Your Life in Seven Days

by Lisa Yee Narrated by Ramón De Ocampo

Overview

Lisa Yee gives us her most fascinating flawed genius since Millicent Min. Higgs Boson Bing has seven days left before his perfect high school career is completed. Then it's on to Harvard to fulfill the fantasy portrait of success that he and his parents have cultivated for the past four years. Four years of academic achievement. Four years of debate championships. Two years of dating the most popular girl in school. It was, literally, everything his parents could have wanted. Everything they wanted for Higgs's older brother Jeffrey, in fact. But something's not right. And when Higgs's girlfriend presents him with a seemingly innocent hypothetical question about whether or not he'd give her a kidney . . . the exposed fault lines reach straight down to the foundations of his life. . . .

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

01/26/2015
The downward spiral of popular high-school senior Higgs Boson Bing, named after the elusive “God particle,” begins when a classmate asks him a hypothetical question about his willingness to donate a kidney to his girlfriend, Roo. Higgs’s hesitant answer does not bode well for his relationship with Roo, resulting in their breakup and a full-blown hate campaign against him. Now all of Higgs’s accolades—debate team captain, prom king, co-valedictorian, etc.—carry little weight, with someone at school bent on ruining his life with pranks, brutal criticisms, and more. Suddenly friendless, Higgs feels hopeless until he meets Monarch, a girl who has taken up residence in an abandoned Airstream trailer. Monarch doesn’t offer Higgs pity but rather hard questions that force him to rethink himself and his future. Alternately heart-wrenching and hilarious (“The Asian Jewish English American thing was a real stumper when it came to filling out my college applications,” Higgs reflects), Yee’s (Absolutely Maybe) portrait of a flawed superstar introduces a cast of vibrant, memorable characters and an eloquent message about following one’s desires. Ages 12–up. Agent: Jodi Reamer, Writers House. (Mar.)

From the Publisher

Praise for The Kidney Hypothetical

"As Higgs' life unravels, every single one of his accepted beliefs has to be re-examined. And the miracle of this novel—the wonderful, hilarious miracle of this novel—is that Higgs actually does this. In a culture that insists that nothing matters more than appearance, Higgs actually looks at himself deeply and (and here is the killer in this novel) honestly." — Gary Schmidt, author of The Wednesday Wars and Okay For Now

"I love Lisa Yee's writing! You read along, smiling and chortling all the way, and then WHAM! she hits you in the heart. Watch out Higgs Boson, you're a Lisa Yee character. You've got seven days – seven days to shed who you think you should be, and become the person you're meant to be." — Amy Timberlake, author of One Came Home

"Lisa Yee has written the best worst week of school ever. Just when you think Higgs Boson Bing's life can't get any worse, it does, in increasingly funny and poignant ways." — Emily Ecton, author of Project Jackalope

"Lisa Yee is one of those people everybody loves. At any moment, she can say something witty, completely off-the-wall wacky, or shockingly deep. Reading The Kidney Hypothetical was exactly like hanging out with Lisa — wildly entertaining, emotionally affecting, and over far too soon." — Jordan Sonnenblink, author of Drums, Girls & Dangerous Pie

"Lisa asks what it means to live an authentic life, and she does so brilliantly with humor, pathos, and truth." — Kerry Madden, author of the Maggie Valley trilogy

Praise for Millicent Min, Girl Genius

"An utterly charming debut, as well as being the kind of tour de force that leaves one breathless." — Boston Globe

"[A] heartfelt story full of wit." — Publishers Weekly, starred review

"Funny, charming, and heartwarming, with something to say about the virtues of trust and truth telling, this deserves an A." — Kirkus Reviews

Praise for Absolutely Maybe

"Moving from middle grade into YA fiction, Yee brings both a flair for comic timing and a sense of pathos.... The characters are complex and their friendships layered — they sweep readers up in their path." — Publishers Weekly

"Maybe's search takes her to unexpected places, and readers will absolutely enjoy the ride." — Horn Book

School Library Journal

12/01/2014
Gr 7 Up—It all began when Higgs Boson Bing's girlfriend asked if he would hypothetically give her a kidney. Until then, Higgs (named after the infamous God particle) had everything: great grades, a popular girlfriend, and an acceptance letter to Harvard. Now with only seven days until graduation, everything is falling apart. He immediately loses his girlfriend and his best friend; he learns that his teachers and classmates never really liked him; and even his acceptance to Harvard is called into question. Yee starts strong with Higgs's situation immediately spiraling out of control. The underlying issue of Higgs dealing with his older brother Jeffrey's death, and subsequently trying to live up to Jeffrey's achievements, adds substance. The story begins to suffer when Monarch, a manic pixie goth girl, shows up. She merely serves as a device to help Higgs see the error of his ways and loosen up a bit. After her arrival, the story becomes a bit unfocused. The hijinks that ensue with Higgs and Monarch creates a laundry list of plot elements that tend to detract rather than add. Fortunately, the author redeems herself with a hopeful, yet not happily-ever-after ending that, while expected, is still satisfying. This is a story that has a few missteps, but still gets a lot right.—Kimberly Castle-Alberts, Hudson Library & Historical Society, OH

Kirkus Reviews

★ 2014-12-10
A perfect, glowing ending to a stellar high school career veers off course when debate-team captain Higgs Boson flunks girlfriend Roo's easy question: If she needed a kidney, would he give her one?Yee turns her clever, insightful humor on one wounded family: There's the dentist dad, retired NASA scientist mom, Higgs, named after "the God particle, the missing link, the answer to all the questions of the universe"—and who could forget little sister Charlie? Well, pretty much everyone; tragically dead older brother Jeffrey is still eerily center stage despite Charlie's straight-A grades and Higgs Boson's acceptance to Harvard, the path Jeffrey was supposed to tread. (Next step? Dental school.) But while Higgs Boson may be the answer, he doesn't have the important-to-teens answer: "Roo's kidneys are fine and I'm not into hypotheticals" leads to an epic breakup, the loss of his best friend, troubles at school and home, and a chance encounter with an intriguing homeless girl wise enough to joke about his name. She forces the self-reflection and introspection Higgs has avoided; now, instead of the iconic happy, hazy final days of high school, he's "buying cigarettes for a tattooed stranger" and taking life-threatening risks. Yee captures the intensity of popularity measured in yearbook pages and the strength of genuine teen melodrama; Mom's "Robe of Depression" and Higgs' therapeutic garden add touching depth; ironic twists save the finale from predictability. Smart, funny-but-ruthless teens and self-absorbed, grieving adults prove to be enormously appealing. (Fiction. 13-18)

Product Details

BN ID:	2940170642717
Publisher:	Recorded Books, LLC
Publication date:	03/31/2015
Edition description:	Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

From THE KIDNEY HYPOTHETICAL: OR HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE IN SEVEN DAYS"I'm not even going to discuss this anymore. It's a hypothetical!" I said, glaring at Samantha. The conversation was making me even more nauseated than I already was."It's over, then," Roo said, sounding small."Well, thank god for that," I answered. The topic was stupid. Samantha Verve was stupid. The conversation was stupid. "Thank god?" Roo echoed. "Thank god, that our relationship is over?""Wha . . . ? No, I thought you were talking about the kidney thing–""It doesn't matter. You've ruined my life!" Roo shouted as she raised her hands to the sky. She was in the drama club and they were all like that. "Higgs Boson Bing, you are heartless. I could have died without your kidney." "I'd give you both my kidneys and my heart," Zander said.I couldn't hold back any longer."HIGGS!" Roo shrieked. "Gotta go!" Zander said, quickly retreating.It probably wasn't a good time to throw up, but then is there ever a good time for that?

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