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The Jealousy Cure: Learn to Trust, Overcome Possessiveness, and Save Your Relationship

The Jealousy Cure: Learn to Trust, Overcome Possessiveness, and Save Your Relationship


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"The Jealousy Cure unlocks the positive power of jealousy for happy relationships."
Foreword Reviews

"Solid counsel for those whose relationships are plagued by jealousy and the individuals it targets."
Library Journal starred review​

Could jealousy be a positive thing? In this groundbreaking book, Robert L. Leahy—author of the hugely popular self-help guide, The Worry Cure—invites you to gain a greater understanding of your jealous feelings, keep jealousy from hijacking your life, and create healthier relationships.

We’ve all heard tales of the overly jealous spouse or significant other. Maybe we’ve even been that jealous person, though we may not want to admit it. It’s hard to imagine anyone sailing through life without either having feelings of jealousy or being the target of someone’s jealousy. But what if jealousy isn’t just a neurotic weakness? What if it signals that your relationship matters to you? In short—what if jealousy serves a purpose?

In The Jealousy Cure, renowned psychologist Robert L. Leahy takes a more nuanced approach to tackling feelings of jealousy. In this compelling book, you’ll uncover the evolutionary origins of jealousy, and how and why it’s served to help us as a species. You’ll also learn practices based in emotional schema theory, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindfulness to help you overcome the shame jealousy can bring, improve communication with your partner, and ultimately make room for jealousy while also making your relationship more meaningful. You will learn that confronting jealousy in your relationship does not have to be a catastrophe, but can redirect you and your partner to build more trust, acceptance, and connection.

We often feel jealous because we fear losing the things or people that matter to us the most. With this insightful guide, you’ll discover how jealousy can both help and hurt your relationship, and learn proven-effective skills to keep jealousy in its place.

This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation— an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781626259751
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Publication date: 03/01/2018
Pages: 248
Sales rank: 223,172
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Robert L. Leahy, PhD, is author or editor of twenty-seven books, including The Worry Cure. He is director of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy in New York City and clinical professor of psychology in the department of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College. He  is past president of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, the International Association for Cognitive Psychotherapy, and the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. He is the 2014 recipient of the Aaron T. Beck Award from the Academy of Cognitive Therapy for outstanding contributions. He writes a regular blog for Psychology Today, and has written for The Huffington Post. Leahy is an international speaker at conferences worldwide, and has been featured in print, radio, and television media such as The New York TimesThe Wall Street JournalThe Times of LondonThe Washington Post20/20,The Early Show, the BBC, NPR and more.

Foreword writer Paul Gilbert, PhD, is world renowned for his work on depression, shame, and self-criticism, and is developer of compassion-focused therapy (CFT). He is head of the mental health research unit at the University of Derby, and has authored or coauthored numerous scholarly articles and books, including The Compassionate Mind, Mindful Compassion, and Overcoming Depression.

Table of Contents

Foreword v
Introduction 1
Part I: About the Passion of Jealousy
1. The Evolution of Competitive Emotions 9
2. Is Jealousy a Problem for You? 21
3. Attachment and Commitment 29
Part II: How Jealousy Becomes a Problem
4. Hijacked by the Jealous Mind 49
5. Jealous Strategies That Drive Your Partner Away 75
Part III: Turning Jealousy Around
6. Stepping Back to Observe and Accept 93
7. Living with Your Thoughts 109
8. Talking Back to Your Jealousy 131
9. Putting Jealousy in Context 157
10. Solving It Together 167
11. Getting Past the Past to Overcome
Retrospective Jealousy 189
12. “It’s Complicated”—Getting Past Infidelity 205
Concluding Reflections 225
Acknowledgments 229
Notes 231


Leahy resides in New York, NY; Gilbert resides in Derby, UK.

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