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Overview
Are you constantly disappointing the toddler in your life?
Are you tired, stressed out, and looking for relief? I can’t help you with that, but if you want to become an A+ servant to your small child, this book is for you. Who better to teach you about toddlers than another toddler? You will learn:
• How time-outs make you look like a fool
• Why potty training is not only unnecessary but unrealistic for children under eighteen
• Why toddler beds are OUT and letting your child sleep on the diagonal in your bed is IN
• The best way to apologize to your toddler for all of those Pinterest casseroles
• That when you love someone, you accept them as they are, pants or no pants
The hard-hitting knowledge in The Honest Toddler will save you thousands of dollars in unnecessary whole grains and toothbrushes.
Happy reading. You’re doing the right thing. For once.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9781476734774 |
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Publisher: | Scribner |
Publication date: | 04/22/2014 |
Pages: | 256 |
Sales rank: | 648,245 |
Product dimensions: | 5.25(w) x 8.19(h) x 0.60(d) |
About the Author
Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 "Why Did You Do That?": The Ins and Outs of Toddler Behavior and How to Leave It Alone 3
Chapter 2 Parenting from the Heart: Ignoring Outside Influences 29
Chapter 3 Toddler-Approved Recipes 47
Chapter 4 Food-Shopping Guide: What We DO and DON'T Need 65
Chapter 5 Sleep: Weaning Yourself Off It 75
Chapter 6 Distractions and Personal Interests: Letting Them Go 93
Chapter 7 Grooming, Dressing, and General Hygiene: How to Keep Your Hands to Yourself 101
Chapter 8 Books, Television, and Games: Understanding and Spending Real Money on Toddler Entertainment 113
Chapter 9 Special Occasions: Making Them Magical for Your Sweet Angel 135
Chapter 10 Pets: Helping Your Toddler Love Them Tight 151
Chapter 11 More Tips for Effective and Brief Communication with Your Toddler 161
Chapter 12 Car Etiquette (and Places to Avoid Visiting) 171
Chapter 13 Breakdown of Popular Toddler Trends, from Amber Necklaces to Jeggings, and Why You Should Avoid Them 183
Chapter 14 Green Snot: How to Treat Your Toddler's Illnesses 195
Chapter 15 The Long Hello: Birth 201
Chapter 16 Good Times: Vacationing with Your Toddler 207
Chapter 17 Parents and Their Dangerous Vices: Learning Self-Control 213
Chapter 18 Pony Training Simplified/Eliminated 231
Conclusion: You've Come a Long Way 237
Afterword Bunmi Laditan 239